"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Test if im adopted.

navyseal2101

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I think im "adopted" and I know there are 13 mixups a day with giving ppl the wrong kids, I think I was a mixup, so how do I go about getting that checked?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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WesCottII

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why do you think that?
 

Nighthawk

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I'm adopted. While it's very common for non-adopted children to imagine or even fantasize about being adopted, it is also common for people not to be told they were adopted, which is tantamount to child abuse in my book. Do you have any evidence you were adopted besides the statistics?

An obvious, though unreliable, test is familial similarity. Do you look markedly different to the rest of your (extended) family? Do you have different blood groups?

Adopted children often have abandonment issues, even if they aren't aware they were adopted. See Nancy Verrer's The Primal Wound for more insight. These may manifest in anger issues, depression, alienation, criminal tendencies, self-harm, substance abuse - though again lots of non-adopted people exhibit these behaviours also.

If you were adopted as part of a hospital mix-up then there is little outside of blood groups or dna testing that will prove anything. But if your parents are complicit, or have suspicions themselves, maybe talking to them will get you answers.

Feel free to PM me.
 

ViciousDADogg

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Hey. You are what you are.


Ask your parents straight up. Was I adopted? Take their answer at face value, without reading the little signs.


Who cares if you were adopted? You are what you are! You love what you are. Adopted or not.
 

navyseal2101

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No, they dont think IU was adopted. In a sense I think I was switched at the hospital b/c I in no way resemble either of them unlike my brother who I also look nothing like. Then I read it happens all the time and you would never know. I dont care if I am "adopted" or not, in fact it would make some things less awkward like "the talk" which was really awkward for me. I'd still love em either way, but i'd like to know who my real parents are if it's the case. So do I just go get a blood test or what? EDIT: Saw Nighthawks post, so is it free?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Nighthawk

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In the UK your blood type should be on the your birth certificate (I think), or other medical records. Don't really know the US system, sorry. Also, you could be the same blood group and still be adopted.
 

penkitten

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you probably look straight up just like some great great grandfather
 

dot

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How do you make sure you get the right baby at the hospital?
 

Centaurion

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First step is to check your eye colour :
http://www.genetree.com/resource/eyeColorCalculator.php

Then a blood test and or a DNA test.

GeneTree Eye Color Inheritance Chart:

Conclusions based on this theory:

2 'light blue' eyed parents cannot have a 'blue' eyed (or darker eyed) child.
2 'blue' eyed parents can have a 'Blue-green' (or lighter) eyed child, but not hazel or anything darker.
2 'blue-green' eyed parents can have a 'Light brown' (or lighter) eyed child, but not brown or anything darker.
1 'Light brown' eyed parent and 1 'blue-green' eyed parent can have a child with any of the possible eye colors.
2 'dark brown or black' eyed parents can have a child with any of the possible eye colors (but it is unlikely they will have a light eyed child, such as light blue or blue).
 
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