"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
telling her the truth
- Thread starter cool dude
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
doctorj
Don Juan
scrouds
Master Don Juan
Show, don't tell.
LinkinParkROX
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 27, 2009
- Messages
- 136
- Reaction score
- 1
Right on, actions speak louder than words.scrouds said:
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Like I said, things are only a big deal if you make them a big deal.
everywomanshero
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 2, 2005
- Messages
- 1,814
- Reaction score
- 36
If you're being fake and you're good at it, sometimes it will work, but it will never have the same impact on you that coming from a place of genuine confidence and naturalness will have. Once you're coming from this place and you're strong enough to pull it off, you never have to think about stuff like this and it's just like ****ing magic the way women pick up on it. I know that's not a lot of help when you're getting started but it's where you should be headed. In other words, be a stand up guy who isn't afraid of girls. If your gut tells you to say she's cute, then do that, if your gut tells you to grab her and kiss her, then do that. Over time you will sort it out. There is this idea that the goal is to get every girl, I used to think in those terms too. Now I think differently. The truth is you can sample some of every kind of woman on the planet and do this with relative ease, but you don't need to care what every individual woman likes. If some lady doesn't like me or what I've done for some reason, she can go **** herself, and I don't say that bitterly but genuinely, I just don't care because I am into women I get along with not the few I don't
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
For the record, I experienced the second scenario Cinamon listed above. It was a disaster. But truth be told it is very difficult to judge which kind of girl she is.Cinamon said:
You might get that Anti Chic Aura for a while but after that you will be fine
MangooLeaf
New Member
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
Those are two questions. Surely you don't like her just because she's cute, right? If she really is stunningly cute, it is ok to acknowledge it in an offhand way. That is not the same as liking her, or telling her that you do. Don't do that. Call her "cuteness" or "blondie" or something that implies she is attractive - and then don't hit on her. That's how to get her thinking about you. Just tease her a little bit and don't be creepy. You'll see her again.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
jophil28
Master Don Juan
This is one of my favorites--cool dude said:
You say to her with a smirk, " I have a good friend who would probably find you moderately attractive."
She says all wide-eyed and laughing ," What? Only moderately !"
You, " Yeh, he is kinda picky. Just like me."
I am not going to totally ignore her but just be like whatever.Act like how she acts,friendly but not interested(I can see why with my dumb ass).