Hey so I'm kinda a shy guy I can't talk to girls at parties I wa wondering if I could have some advice on how to talk to girls at parties if I know there names from people talking about them but don't know how to start a conversation with them and how to keep it going. Any ideas on what to say to them and how to be not shy?
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Talking to girls at parties
- Thread starter Matt1513
- Start date
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Exactly the same way you talk to your friends. when you see them, just say hi it's as simple as that, albeit it seems alot harder when your actually in the situation.
In regards to actually talking to them, literally say anything, make a joke about the host, ask what they're drinking, declare yourself the coolest guy in the building.
You take classes with them? Talk about that
You know the same people? Talk about that
You're shy? Talk about that
Only reason you run out of things to say is because you start worrying about what to say.
You're at a party right? Just have fun with it!
If she doesn't like you, her loss, plenty of fish in the sea.
And in regards to being shy, only one way to get over that, start pushing your comfort zone, everytime you feel uncomfortable, keep going. Confidence is essentially being comfortable with yourself and your surroundings.
Hope this helps a little bit
Gunner
In regards to actually talking to them, literally say anything, make a joke about the host, ask what they're drinking, declare yourself the coolest guy in the building.
You take classes with them? Talk about that
You know the same people? Talk about that
You're shy? Talk about that
Only reason you run out of things to say is because you start worrying about what to say.
You're at a party right? Just have fun with it!
If she doesn't like you, her loss, plenty of fish in the sea.
And in regards to being shy, only one way to get over that, start pushing your comfort zone, everytime you feel uncomfortable, keep going. Confidence is essentially being comfortable with yourself and your surroundings.
Hope this helps a little bit
Gunner
LearningSlowly
Master Don Juan
The sooner you start talking to girls the better you will become at it. Start now and **** the consequences!! Pretty soon your past will be erased and a new future will be before you. Practice while you can!
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
The first thing to say.
HELLO
Pretty much all there is to it. No need for fancy pick-up lines, they're corny and cheap and unless you say them with the utmost confidence in a cheeky, over the top exagerrated way they don't help to break the ice, you're better off sticking to just saying hi.
If Hello doesn't seem right, you can try making a comment about something going on, when I'm out at bars and clubs I'll make a remark to a girl about the bartender if we are both at the bar waiting to be served. Situational openers are simple ways of starting to talk to somebody, if it's a funny observation they haven't seen yet they may laugh, and from there you go into saying 'Hi I'm Gunner, what's your name?'
You seem like you're really struggling to even say hello to a girl at the moment. Flirting takes a little bit of confidence in yourself to start it off, you're still too worried about what the girl initially thinks about you when she meets you, I'd work on that part first, at least until you have no worries saying hello to people.
Alternatively you can follow LearningSlowly's advice and throw yourself in at the deep end, which is pretty solid advice too. Start being more sexual and **** the consequences, check the girl out whilst you're talking to her, if she calls you on it just say you were admiring the view or something similar, don't be afraid to talk about sex, it's natural.
Gunner
HELLO
Pretty much all there is to it. No need for fancy pick-up lines, they're corny and cheap and unless you say them with the utmost confidence in a cheeky, over the top exagerrated way they don't help to break the ice, you're better off sticking to just saying hi.
If Hello doesn't seem right, you can try making a comment about something going on, when I'm out at bars and clubs I'll make a remark to a girl about the bartender if we are both at the bar waiting to be served. Situational openers are simple ways of starting to talk to somebody, if it's a funny observation they haven't seen yet they may laugh, and from there you go into saying 'Hi I'm Gunner, what's your name?'
You seem like you're really struggling to even say hello to a girl at the moment. Flirting takes a little bit of confidence in yourself to start it off, you're still too worried about what the girl initially thinks about you when she meets you, I'd work on that part first, at least until you have no worries saying hello to people.
Alternatively you can follow LearningSlowly's advice and throw yourself in at the deep end, which is pretty solid advice too. Start being more sexual and **** the consequences, check the girl out whilst you're talking to her, if she calls you on it just say you were admiring the view or something similar, don't be afraid to talk about sex, it's natural.
Gunner
apocolipto
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- May 14, 2012
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Listen to Gunner.
jericg
Don Juan
http://www.sosuave.com/articles/body.htm thanks to apocolipto 
this is how i like to act when meeting a girl. doesnt really matter what i say anymore with these
this is how i like to act when meeting a girl. doesnt really matter what i say anymore with theseapocolipto
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- May 14, 2012
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- 400
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- 1
Thanks Jericg. When I started in the game, I was worried about outer game. What to say, negs, DHV's, etc. If you get your Body language as in that articles, be confident, and can at least carry a good conversation, your sure to see results.
jericg
Don Juan
You might have personal problems as i do,and they might affect ur game, but remember: no excuses. Set them aside, unless its something more important
“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”
Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules. Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.
Huffman
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 29, 2007
- Messages
- 1,499
- Reaction score
- 166
Start of with talking to girls as you would to guys. So you get comfortable.
Imagine when you were a freshman at High School, and you were sitting next to some dude in class.
What did you say to him?
-"Hey how's it going?" (in a completely natural, not anxious tone)
How did you continue the conversation?
-You probably talked about things around you (teacher, school), or even some totally random stuff, and the other guy thought it's cool.
Start off like that with the girls. When you can do that, read up more on conversation, emotional connection, seductive etc. and see if it suits your style.
Imagine when you were a freshman at High School, and you were sitting next to some dude in class.
What did you say to him?
-"Hey how's it going?" (in a completely natural, not anxious tone)
How did you continue the conversation?
-You probably talked about things around you (teacher, school), or even some totally random stuff, and the other guy thought it's cool.
Start off like that with the girls. When you can do that, read up more on conversation, emotional connection, seductive etc. and see if it suits your style.
ameya905
Don Juan
There are two things you need to do -Matt1513 said:
1. Listen to Gunner.
2. Stop being a pvssy.
I was shy and quiet too, so I know where you come from. You won't get results unless you DO something. I DID something... So I got results.
And first I used to think, '' What if I fvck up?'' And I used to chicken out of approaching the chicks! How pathetic were my AFC days.
Then one day after hours of crying alone in the corner of my room I decided to rise up to the challenge and said, '' Fvck this Sh!t. I'm surely gonna do it. It's not rocket science''.
And once I started trying, my life changed forever. Yes, I still fvck up occassionally till today, but I don't look back at the fvck ups. Always remember, that failure is better than not trying!
Good Luck,
AK.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Shy around girls and shy around guys, if you're telling the truth you really are stumped. Is it just people your own age who you struggle to talk to?
Ask open ended questions. Get the person talking about themselves, or their own experiences. People love talking, even when they're not allowed too, just think, in the classroom there's always somebody getting told to be quiet.
There is no set topic that anyone here can give you that will guarantee you a successfull conversation. The closest I can think of, is asking somebody what they did today. I reckon you should give it a go. When somebody asks how your day has been, tell them, don't just say 'erm, yeah it was ok I guess' let them know what you did with your day. Then ask them if they did anything worthwhile with theirs.
If they say it was ok - ASK why it was ok.
If they say it was great - ASK why it was great.
If they say it was bad - ASK them why it was bad. (Once you get a little better actually talking to women, wean yourself off of this one, we don't want you getting thrown in the friendzone and being her emotional tampon now do we)
Now I'm going to ask you a question.
What do you like to do?
Once you've thought of something tell me - WHY do you like it?
There, I just started a conversation with you. Your turn.
Gunner
Ask open ended questions. Get the person talking about themselves, or their own experiences. People love talking, even when they're not allowed too, just think, in the classroom there's always somebody getting told to be quiet.
There is no set topic that anyone here can give you that will guarantee you a successfull conversation. The closest I can think of, is asking somebody what they did today. I reckon you should give it a go. When somebody asks how your day has been, tell them, don't just say 'erm, yeah it was ok I guess' let them know what you did with your day. Then ask them if they did anything worthwhile with theirs.
If they say it was ok - ASK why it was ok.
If they say it was great - ASK why it was great.
If they say it was bad - ASK them why it was bad. (Once you get a little better actually talking to women, wean yourself off of this one, we don't want you getting thrown in the friendzone and being her emotional tampon now do we
)Now I'm going to ask you a question.
What do you like to do?
Once you've thought of something tell me - WHY do you like it?
There, I just started a conversation with you. Your turn.
Gunner
I like music and sports. But I feel like if I ask them questions and stuff they'll think I'm weird. You just walk up to them and ask hows it going and start talking?Gunner26 said:Shy around girls and shy around guys, if you're telling the truth you really are stumped. Is it just people your own age who you struggle to talk to?
Ask open ended questions. Get the person talking about themselves, or their own experiences. People love talking, even when they're not allowed too, just think, in the classroom there's always somebody getting told to be quiet.
There is no set topic that anyone here can give you that will guarantee you a successfull conversation. The closest I can think of, is asking somebody what they did today. I reckon you should give it a go. When somebody asks how your day has been, tell them, don't just say 'erm, yeah it was ok I guess' let them know what you did with your day. Then ask them if they did anything worthwhile with theirs.
If they say it was ok - ASK why it was ok.
If they say it was great - ASK why it was great.
If they say it was bad - ASK them why it was bad. (Once you get a little better actually talking to women, wean yourself off of this one, we don't want you getting thrown in the friendzone and being her emotional tampon now do we
Now I'm going to ask you a question.
What do you like to do?
Once you've thought of something tell me - WHY do you like it?
There, I just started a conversation with you. Your turn.
Gunner
DanZy
Master Don Juan
Just go and fvcking do it. Talk a load of sh1t, make sexual references, whatever. Just get out and talk to girls. You're over thinking like a boss and acting like a little b1tch
ameya905
Don Juan
Exactly!DanZy said:
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.