Talking about yourself

[Gammergq]

Maybe this is where I have been going wrong with girls and in conversations with people in general. You see I am am the perfect listener I like to get to know people get them to open up but I dont like to talk about myself that much I feel it could come across self absurbed. Should I use the talk about myself or should I stick to my old game?

 

[ChrizZ]

according to Juggler talking about yourself is crucial to make others comfortable. You have to talk in the "I" perspective in order to get other people to open up to you. Furthermore you have to describe the emotions you felt and ask lots of open ended questions. It is also important that there has to be an equal energy shift between the two persons talking. Meaning that you start out with 90% of the talking and let her do 10% of the talking. However after she opens up to you it is 50/50. It's also important to make lots of statements and only ask big questions (e.g.: "So what's your life story?" etc.)


Example:

I love Paris. I like the people there, they made me feel like I had known them forever because they were so friendly. Have you ever met people like that? ...

hope that helps.

 

[jesusrules]

well i think your doing fine listening but make sure you talk in the conversation as well. last thing a girl wants is guy that is boring and doesnt say a thing. so talk about yourself a little but not to much.

 

[ready123]

when you talk about yourself, don't make the mistake of bragging

DO open up though and share the occassional thing that makes you feel somewhat vulnerable. that's what Juggler was trying to get at. it makes you appear more "real" as a person, on top of that makes her comfortable