Talking about what's getting you down.

[Starriol]

I'm going out with this girl for around the last two months.

I almost never talk about something that anguishes me, my problems and all.

I don't because of all the programming I had while reading this.

I totally blocked doing that from my personality, now I deal with it alone, or ask for help to specific persons.

But sometimes, when I'm feeling down I would love to drop my mask and show me how I am, and stop that lie of "everything is OK, I have no problems".

But on the other side I believe it would make me less attractive.

I don't know... anyone has experienced anything similar?

Also, I fear very much falling in love with her, showing my affection, showing my feelings, all things I WANT to do, but on the other side, I fear becoming AFC again and loosing her... I scared women in the past by being AFC.

I'm not being AFC now... don't get me wrong, but on some level I fear showing affection, that is hugging her a lot, telling her I care for her, it's AFC.

****, I'm confused...

I'm ripping apart, between what I WANT to do, and what my mind tells me it's DJ... which might be wrong...

 

[Reagan]

You have to learn to properly vent. Or you'll end up beating women or something. You just got to learn to let it flow. Find someone that has taken a lot of acid and he'll give you a lesson on how to let feelings flow.

 

[Abbott]

Don't talk about your problems. It's not the man thing to do.

If you must, talk to family or a very close friend. But no one else.

I generally make a point of:

If I'm in a good mood, I'm in a good mood in public.

If I'm in a bad mood, I'm in a good mood in public.


It also helps if you learn how not to overreact to things, which is a good principle in and of itself.

I've had downright lousy things happen to me, things that would make some people break down in tears. But I remained calm about it, and decided what the best course of action should be. That's much more profitable than crying about it.

Sure, if someone does something that is completely uncalled for (woman flaking, cheating, etc.), don't let it slide. But no need to become incredibly emotional about it.


Ben

 

[Julian]

thats what your moms for man. shes the only female thats not going to judge you, plus its not like your trying to attract her (i hope! LOL).

 

[Marlimus]

That's what your FRIENDS are for. Female friends make great confidantes. When I mean female friends, I mean the ones you have no intention of hitting on. EVER. Confide in them, i fyou want. But not in the women you are trying to pick up on.

 

[SamePendo]

Sounds like you're a loner.

Get friends. I recommend one male and one female. Why? Because there are things you can talk to with a man, and there are things you will maybe be embarassed to say to a man, or maybe it will be a feminine side of you that a woman will totally grasp.

Deal with those issues.

Getting friends will take time, but it'll be worth it.