last night at karaoke a group of women had one of the books so i sat with them so i could use the book as well. this gave me the chance to make small talk and all was going well untill some drunk came over and said id been chating to the girls all night and hadnt bought them a drink. i said id just met them and wasnt an atm and they hadnt done anything to deserve a drink. this annoyed one of the girls who wanted to know what i ment by deserve. i said there are many ways but id just met them...
"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
talking about the dont buy drinks rule?
- Thread starter mikej73
- Start date
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
...and wasnt a door mat. she then went on to tell me that i was a very closed person and that someone must have hurt me in the past and if i didnt open up id be alone all my life (actualy i was just trying to obay the no free drinks rule and my wallet was a bit light anyway but went with her reason) i said if i end up alone i end up alone but i refuse to let women walk all over me. she then started to snog me! did i pass a test or was she just nuts?
SharinganUser
Master Don Juan
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I think this girl was bonkers, how did she ascertain all that from the simple fact that you didn't buy her a drink.
The only time you should buy anyone drinks is when you want to buy a round for everyone to win over the group.
The only time you should buy anyone drinks is when you want to buy a round for everyone to win over the group.
the argument didnt start because i hadnt bought a drink but because i told the drunk he was free to buy them a drink if he was a doormat or an atm and that they hadnt earned one. if i had just said because they hadnt bought me one they would have droped the matter. but because i argued my case she suddenly started telling me im gourgeous and was sucking my face.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I haven't bought a random girl a drink at a bar or club since I was 21 (I'm 26 now). If it comes up in conversation, I turn it into an opportunity to press for a first date, assuming I'm really interested in the girl.
I just say very matter-of-factly that I don't buy drinks for girls I just met at bars, but she's welcome to come out with me next weekend and drinks are on me. It is staggering how many of them will exchange numbers with you and set up a date right then and there. At least it works for me.
I just say very matter-of-factly that I don't buy drinks for girls I just met at bars, but she's welcome to come out with me next weekend and drinks are on me. It is staggering how many of them will exchange numbers with you and set up a date right then and there. At least it works for me.
She probably took offense to you saying she had to "earn" it, that may have been a poor choice of words. You could have just turned the question back on him, why should you buy her a drink? That is suggesting that she qualify herself.
Mr. Bojangles
Don Juan
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Saying they hadn't done anything to "deserve a drink" or they hadn't "earned it" doesn't sound like the best choice of words to me... especially since you said it to the drunk guy to justify your argument. I mean, if you had have said it to the girls in a c&f way i think you would have gotten away with it. I would have replied to the drunk with something to the effect of "personally i don't buy drinks for girls i've just met, but feel free to do so yourself if you like".
Doesn't really matter what the crazy girl said / thought though. The important thing was that you didn't let her walk all over you.
Doesn't really matter what the crazy girl said / thought though. The important thing was that you didn't let her walk all over you.