last night at karaoke a group of women had one of the books so i sat with them so i could use the book as well. this gave me the chance to make small talk and all was going well untill some drunk came over and said id been chating to the girls all night and hadnt bought them a drink. i said id just met them and wasnt an atm and they hadnt done anything to deserve a drink. this annoyed one of the girls who wanted to know what i ment by deserve. i said there are many ways but id just met them...
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
talking about the dont buy drinks rule?
- Thread starter mikej73
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
...and wasnt a door mat. she then went on to tell me that i was a very closed person and that someone must have hurt me in the past and if i didnt open up id be alone all my life (actualy i was just trying to obay the no free drinks rule and my wallet was a bit light anyway but went with her reason) i said if i end up alone i end up alone but i refuse to let women walk all over me. she then started to snog me! did i pass a test or was she just nuts?
SharinganUser
Master Don Juan
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I think this girl was bonkers, how did she ascertain all that from the simple fact that you didn't buy her a drink.
The only time you should buy anyone drinks is when you want to buy a round for everyone to win over the group.
The only time you should buy anyone drinks is when you want to buy a round for everyone to win over the group.
the argument didnt start because i hadnt bought a drink but because i told the drunk he was free to buy them a drink if he was a doormat or an atm and that they hadnt earned one. if i had just said because they hadnt bought me one they would have droped the matter. but because i argued my case she suddenly started telling me im gourgeous and was sucking my face.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I haven't bought a random girl a drink at a bar or club since I was 21 (I'm 26 now). If it comes up in conversation, I turn it into an opportunity to press for a first date, assuming I'm really interested in the girl.
I just say very matter-of-factly that I don't buy drinks for girls I just met at bars, but she's welcome to come out with me next weekend and drinks are on me. It is staggering how many of them will exchange numbers with you and set up a date right then and there. At least it works for me.
I just say very matter-of-factly that I don't buy drinks for girls I just met at bars, but she's welcome to come out with me next weekend and drinks are on me. It is staggering how many of them will exchange numbers with you and set up a date right then and there. At least it works for me.
She probably took offense to you saying she had to "earn" it, that may have been a poor choice of words. You could have just turned the question back on him, why should you buy her a drink? That is suggesting that she qualify herself.
Mr. Bojangles
Don Juan
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Saying they hadn't done anything to "deserve a drink" or they hadn't "earned it" doesn't sound like the best choice of words to me... especially since you said it to the drunk guy to justify your argument. I mean, if you had have said it to the girls in a c&f way i think you would have gotten away with it. I would have replied to the drunk with something to the effect of "personally i don't buy drinks for girls i've just met, but feel free to do so yourself if you like".
Doesn't really matter what the crazy girl said / thought though. The important thing was that you didn't let her walk all over you.
Doesn't really matter what the crazy girl said / thought though. The important thing was that you didn't let her walk all over you.