Taking things slow, how slow is too slow?

[shizz702]

Ok well, been dating quite a few women lately, and have it narrowed down to 2 that I like, and one other possible prospect.

For the record I'm not just looking for a quick lay, had plenty of that these past couple months and am more interested in finding something more, and settling down with one qualifed for me.

So I've been going out with this chick from Venezuela for the last couple weeks. We've gone out 3 times, and still have yet to get physical at all.

I'm just not used to this. Had plenty of first date kiss closes, hell have even had first date f<ck closes.

The problem is I just sense her being heavily guarded up. She has told me she has been single for the last 6 years and went through a ltr that ended baddly that obvioulsy messed her up. Also due to her being a foreigner here and what not she is very insecure.

So I've yet to make any advances on her cause I just can't seem to gauge if she wants to go there or not. I know the interest is there otherwise she wouldn't want to keep seeing me, and after our first date she texted me asking what I thought of her, and told me she thinks I'm a "good fun guy, and definitely wants to get to know me more."

I definitely feel a strong physical attraction towards her as she has the exotic look I'm into, and a nice body, and since she is taking things so slowly I'm more inclined to see potential in her as I would never want to be in a relationship with a chick that f's on the first date, she does that with you she's doing with everyone. We also have a lot in common hobby wise.

So, my question is should I just keep going at her pace and wait for a sign, or should I just man up and make a move? This has nothing to do with me being nervous or afraid as I've been there and done that with this kind of thing tons of times, it is just simply not seeing any sign in her of wanting it due to her insecurity and the guard she is holding up for whatever reason.

Normally I wouldn't care and would just escalate anyway and cut my losses if it didn't go anywhere, but I am actually interested in this one, which is the only reason I've been a bit hesitant.

Advice appreciated fellas...

 

[3countriesPlan]

Well you can't lose a girl for being one step slow but you can lose one being one step fast. But at the same time don't ever give any one girl significantly more leeway than the rest because then its kinda pedestoling her and then everything goes down the drain later without you getting anywhere or fclosing. Its nice and all she's (insert whatever excuse it is), but the time comes where a girl has to step up to the plate and show you that she is worth your time. Go ahead and escalate to a kiss (lol) and take things forward a bit.

 

[shizz702]

Well you can't lose a girl for being one step slow but you can lose one being one step fast. But at the same time don't ever give any one girl significantly more leeway than the rest because then its kinda pedestoling her and then everything goes down the drain later without you getting anywhere or fclosing. Its nice and all she's (insert whatever excuse it is), but the time comes where a girl has to step up to the plate and show you that she is worth your time. Go ahead and escalate to a kiss (lol) and take things forward a bit.

Yea you are right, this behavior of mine is putting her on a pedestal and I'm gonna have to knock it off.

I will acknowledge I've had enough interest in her to maintain this slow pace thus far, but lol enough is enough. We are going to see a movie Monday night and there ain't no way I'm gonna sit all stiff and distant from her during it, if we ain't least cuddled up during it and I don't get a kiss close then I'm gonna have to cut my loss I guess.

 

[st_99]

Well, your question gets at the heart of how we are supposed to treat women we may find more 'desirable' than the others.

Should we be more laid back, more forceful, no different, tailor our behavior theirs? This is an age old question. I think the evidence points to one direction..

Treat them all the same.

 

[shizz702]

Well, your question gets at the heart of how we are supposed to treat women we may find more 'desirable' than the others.

Should we be more laid back, more forceful, no different, tailor our behavior theirs? This is an age old question. I think the evidence points to one direction..

Treat them all the same.

You bring up a good point here, and I will definitely say I find this one more desirable and have higher interest in her than others I've F closed and hooked up with recently.

You are right, they should all be treated equally in the pursuit.