So I've been seeing this girl casually for a few weeks, and what used to be a great fwb thing is now turning out to be kind of weird for me. The thing is, the more we hang out, the more I like her. When we're alone, we act like a couple, cuddling, fvcking, talking about common interests, etc. However, when we're hanging out with friends we act like friends...even though our friends know we ****. So now I'm trying to figure out a way to bring it up to her without freaking her out. If she doesn't want to get more serious I'd actually be cool with it, but I still want to at least make it known to her that I'm interested in maybe more. Any thoughts on how to bring this up without having her run for the hills?
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
taking the "F" out of FWB
- Thread starter Bassic
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Greasy Pig
Master Don Juan
I strongly advise you to wait for her to bring it up. Strongly.
Any overtures from you signals desperation. If she really likes you, she'll bring up exclusivity. In the meantime, just keep on fvcking.
Any overtures from you signals desperation. If she really likes you, she'll bring up exclusivity. In the meantime, just keep on fvcking.
cordoncordon
Master Don Juan
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- Jun 2, 2006
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You don't bring it up. You let her bring it up. You just keep acting the same way, showing her good sexing and fun when you together, and IF she is at all interested in taking this further, she will let you know. If you bring it up? Nothing good can come of it.
First off I don't want to wife her...I just want to see how things would work out if we were in an actual relationship. Secondly, I have casual sex with multiple women so passing judgement on her would be considered a double standard in my book, and I'm just not down with that sort of thing.PairPlusRoyalFlush said:
As for the other responses, thank you for the hasty advice. You guys are prolly right...a bird in hand is worth two in the bush, right?
Right....let's just agree to disagree then. The point of my post was that I want to try and get into a committed relationship, and needed advice on how to make that happen, not your subjective definition of "wife up" or "double standard".PairPlusRoyalFlush said:
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Kailex
Master Don Juan
So what's the problem with what you guys are doing right now? Why change it?Bassic said:
Don't try to lock her down, she's supposed to be trying that with you. You might need to start seeing her a little less.
The problem is that when we are hanging out with friends, I'd still like to be close to her and flirty and stupid crap like that. I'm not trying to get any hardcore pda action in front of the friends, but being flirty while hanging out with others is mildly foreplay for me lol. But no, you're right, I need to prolly see her less, and try and get the gears spinning in her head maybe?Kailex said:
Edit: p.s.
Also I want an exclusive deal.
Scaramouche
Master Don Juan
Dear All,
I despair,is this a marriage agency or a site for Don Juans?
I despair,is this a marriage agency or a site for Don Juans?
Lol yeah I got it...wifing up means dating exclusively. I still don't...nor will I ever...agree that it's not a double standard to pass judgement on a girl that sleeps around, when I myself, sleep around. I don't care as long as she isnt doing that while I have her (wait for it) wifed up.Espi said: