"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Take girls to nice dinners?

brian123

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Long story, but my company gives me dinner awards that basically let me take another person to the fanciest restaurants and have me not pay for it at all (the girl I am taking has no idea that I don't pay. Basically I charge the meal to my credit card, and the company reimburses me for it)

If you take a girl out on 2-3 dates and things are going ok, is it ok to then blow them away with an extra fancy restaurant date?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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MisterMcGee

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You could use the fact that it's free as something.

Like, make it casual like you're not trying too hard or anything. "I've got a free night out to a great restaurant, and it seems you could use a good night out, so I'm taking you." or something. The fact that it's free means you're just taking her out for a fun good time, not as an extra formal weird date.
 

brian123

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Yea, my company doesn't mind. As a reward, they give me a voucher for $100 at any meal I want. You just fax the receipt and they include the cost of the dinner in your next paycheck. I agree, if I was paying out of pocket, I wouldn't be taking girls out to nice places to early in the dating relationship. But I have a bunch of these that I'd like to use anyways.

In the past, I've gotten girls with implying that it "might be free for me" that way they don't feel overly weird going. Good chance for me to dress up in a nice suit to look impressive and see them all dolled up as well.

So if there is a girl i've "hung out" with a couple times (she always invited me) that'd I'd like to impress, and circumstances keep me from being in town for ~1 month, then it wouldn't be a bad idea to take her out to a fancy restaurant?
 

tincanman99

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As long as you arent paying feel free. About a month I took a girl to dinner in NYC. It was about date 4 or 5. I dropped 180 with tip. I will give you 3 guesses what she did?

1. She ordered the most expensive thing on the menu.
2. She sucked 2 ****tails at about 12 a piece.
3. She totally flaked out at the concert I took her too after dinner.
4. TOTALLY DISAPPEARED after the date. No call, no thanks - no nothing.

What did I do wrong? I was a little needy - asking her out again and telling her I had a good time. That was it. I followed this up by a week later telling her if you dont want to see me, just tell me. Of course she did not reply.

NEVER F***ing again with the expensive dinner nor being AFC. I was in control till a 6 hour make out session but will NEVER do this again.

Rant is over ;)
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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FairShake

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I wouldn't drop alot of money on a woman unless she is my wife, daughter, girlfriend, or a targeted girlfriend.

If you're just looking to ****, get a prostitute.
 

Gia Giovanni

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tincanman99 said:
As long as you arent paying feel free. About a month I took a girl to dinner in NYC. It was about date 4 or 5. I dropped 180 with tip. I will give you 3 guesses what she did?

1. She ordered the most expensive thing on the menu.
2. She sucked 2 ****tails at about 12 a piece.
3. She totally flaked out at the concert I took her too after dinner.
4. TOTALLY DISAPPEARED after the date. No call, no thanks - no nothing.

What did I do wrong? I was a little needy - asking her out again and telling her I had a good time. That was it. I followed this up by a week later telling her if you dont want to see me, just tell me. Of course she did not reply.

NEVER F***ing again with the expensive dinner nor being AFC. I was in control till a 6 hour make out session but will NEVER do this again.

Rant is over ;)
Wow you really know how to pick em. What attribute were you focusing on when you asked her out?
 

Jitterbug

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OP, just ask yourself this: What has she done to deserve such a reward?
 

sodbuster

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If she hasn't earned it,she shouldn't get it. All you are doing otherwise is encourage their sense of entitlement. It MAY make you look needy-you can't get her without buying her stuff etc.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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tincanman99

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Quote:

Originally Posted by tincanman99

As long as you arent paying feel free. About a month I took a girl to dinner in NYC. It was about date 4 or 5. I dropped 180 with tip. I will give you 3 guesses what she did?

1. She ordered the most expensive thing on the menu.
2. She sucked 2 ****tails at about 12 a piece.
3. She totally flaked out at the concert I took her too after dinner.
4. TOTALLY DISAPPEARED after the date. No call, no thanks - no nothing.

What did I do wrong? I was a little needy - asking her out again and telling her I had a good time. That was it. I followed this up by a week later telling her if you dont want to see me, just tell me. Of course she did not reply.

NEVER F***ing again with the expensive dinner nor being AFC. I was in control till a 6 hour make out session but will NEVER do this again.

Rant is over

Wow you really know how to pick em. What attribute were you focusing on when you asked her out?
Gia Giovanni said:
Wow you really know how to pick em. What attribute were you focusing on when you asked her out?
She pursued me for like 6 months. Professional woman (whoops I mean a dinner *****). She was smart, educated and had a great disposition till I saw her flip 180 degrees in front of me. Oh and she had a hard rocking body :) .

I had misgivings about it from day 1 but after the first date I figured, eh she is cute - why not. HUGE MISTAKE.
 

tincanman99

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sodbuster said:
If she hasn't earned it,she shouldn't get it. All you are doing otherwise is encourage their sense of entitlement. It MAY make you look needy-you can't get her without buying her stuff etc.
I agree with this. You are feeding the entitlement beast. Take your mom as some other poster said.

If you do it she will not appreciate it. They NEVER appreciate this kind of stuff. Its taken for granted. Been there done that. Dont be a fool like me.
 

kdnash82

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Girls that I have no feelings for get McDonalds. Girls who I AM in a relationship with get fancy dinners. Casual dating doesn't warrant a special dinner IMO
 

true romance

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No expensive dinner....unless you are in LTR or she really earn it (saving your ass when you are in real trouble). DO NOT SPEND expensive dinner on girls !!!!

Otherwise take your mother out or close family..She deserve to taste your success.
 

brian123

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true romance said:
No expensive dinner....unless you are in LTR or she really earn it (saving your ass when you are in real trouble). DO NOT SPEND expensive dinner on girls !!!!

Otherwise take your mother out or close family..She deserve to taste your success.
What if I am not doing the actual spending. Only looks like I am.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Alle_Gory

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brian123 said:
What if I am not doing the actual spending. Only looks like I am.
Take someone who you think deserves it, and who you would enjoy the evening with.

Its going to be a waste of a nice dinner by the sound of it.
 

brian123

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Alle_Gory said:
Take someone who you think deserves it, and who you would enjoy the evening with.

Its going to be a waste of a nice dinner by the sound of it.
Well I am taking this particular girl for a few reasons.

A) She's done all the chasing so far basically.
B) She is down to earth and I really enjoy having conversations with her.
C) Won't be able to really spend any time with her for 1-2 months. Figure this act will tide her over so I can do really well once I get back.
 

nismo-4

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Make sure the girl did something to earn that kind of dinner. If I didn't find a girl that earned it and the voucher expired, I'd be eating Pappadeaux seafood by myself and think nothing of it. I know I'd be looked at quite stupid, but oh well.
 
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