"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Tables turned - What happened???

joemomma

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Alright, so I meet this chick through a good friend of mine and we spend 5 or 6 drunken nights together after the bar over the next month. At this point I'm certain she really digs me, a couple of her friends made sure I knew that much.

I don't like rushing into anything that resembles serious because I'm a picky dude and usually just get fed up with chicks if I see too much of them, so I didn't initiate any sort of talks about where the thing was going and what she wanted to do with it.

After a couple weeks I decide "OK, this girl is cool as hell - what the fvck, I'll give it a shot with her." So I increase the weekly call count to 2 max - always on a bar night, and mention that we should get together and watch a movie or something soon. Around this point her calls drop off, and the next week when I see her at the bar she straight up jets inside without a word to me. I call her on it the next day and she says she just 'needs her space', and can't have a boyfriend because she sucks at relationships and always pussies out. "We should just be friends for awhile". I let her know that I'm not into serious relationsips and tell her she knows where to find me.

How did the tables turn like this? I thought I was playing things fairly well, and DEFINITELY wasn't giving her too much attention. I can't decide if she thought I was just not interested in her and wanted out to avoid being hurt, or if she actually lost interest in me. Is this worth pursuing in any way?
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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wowiehowie

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Originally posted by joemomma
...we spend 5 or 6 drunken nights together after the bar over the next month.
Don't know about you, but I think her problem or potential problem with alcohol would turn me off. A serious character flaw - and I'll bet there will be more.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Originally posted by joemomma
Any thoughts?
Tables turned? Not really. What happened is that you tried to change the dynamics of the relationship. Everything was going fine with you guys being beer buddies (or whatever) and then you had to try to get serious.

Had you ever thought why this woman didn't complain about how you guys hung out originally? Do you think women who would want to be in a relationship would behave the way that she did? Not to say that there is anything wrong with her, just that she has different priorities.

Guys, learn how to read a woman by her actions and not just go by your own wants. This is the main reason guys get supposedly confused by a woman's actions. Yes, they may change their minds often but more times than not the problem arises when she wants something different than you.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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