"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Suggestions for Changing My Situation

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At this point in my life I've decided to honestly assess my problems with regard to dating/women and actually make an effort to change them. I am a 22 year old virgin who has never had a girlfriend. I recognize that my status will not change unless I take some type of action to change it, but in all honesty, I am not sure what actions I should take. Approaching complete strangers on the street seems like an inefficient, awkward and unnatural way to get a girlfriend. I have a fair number of female friends, but flirting and social cues do not come quite as naturally to me as they do to most others (I have been told I may be on the Aspergers/Autistic spectrum by some, but have never actually been diagnosed, so it is hard to say). Overall, I have learned decent social skills compared to when I was a kid, but as far as expressing attraction/intimacy is concerned, I recognize that I have a lot of work to do. The thought of dying a virgin depresses and disturbs me greatly, and I am determined to not let that happen. I am determined to stay optimistic even if it seems like my scenario is not going to change in the near future. The primary reason I am making this thread is because I just want some advice for small steps that I can take to try to change my scenario. I am a very analytical person by nature, and yet I understand that "analysis" is not always the answer when it comes to solving social problems. I did not have a "bad" childhood per se, though it is worth mentioning that my mother has Borderline Personality Disorder, which could also have had some contribution to my issues as well. Any tips or suggestions would be appreciated.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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marmel75

Master Don Juan
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My advice would be to get a job where you have to deal with people all day long like retail or restaurant. Even if its only a part time job. This will do more to help than virtually anything else because you will be forced to learn how to interact with people.
 
Joined
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Messages
23
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8
Age
30
My advice would be to get a job where you have to deal with people all day long like retail or restaurant. Even if its only a part time job. This will do more to help than virtually anything else because you will be forced to learn how to interact with people.
Interacting with people is not the issue. I have no issues with normal conversation/communication. The issue is showing attraction and expressing a desire for intimacy in a subtle, yet natural way.
 
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