"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Suggestions for Changing My Situation

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At this point in my life I've decided to honestly assess my problems with regard to dating/women and actually make an effort to change them. I am a 22 year old virgin who has never had a girlfriend. I recognize that my status will not change unless I take some type of action to change it, but in all honesty, I am not sure what actions I should take. Approaching complete strangers on the street seems like an inefficient, awkward and unnatural way to get a girlfriend. I have a fair number of female friends, but flirting and social cues do not come quite as naturally to me as they do to most others (I have been told I may be on the Aspergers/Autistic spectrum by some, but have never actually been diagnosed, so it is hard to say). Overall, I have learned decent social skills compared to when I was a kid, but as far as expressing attraction/intimacy is concerned, I recognize that I have a lot of work to do. The thought of dying a virgin depresses and disturbs me greatly, and I am determined to not let that happen. I am determined to stay optimistic even if it seems like my scenario is not going to change in the near future. The primary reason I am making this thread is because I just want some advice for small steps that I can take to try to change my scenario. I am a very analytical person by nature, and yet I understand that "analysis" is not always the answer when it comes to solving social problems. I did not have a "bad" childhood per se, though it is worth mentioning that my mother has Borderline Personality Disorder, which could also have had some contribution to my issues as well. Any tips or suggestions would be appreciated.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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marmel75

Master Don Juan
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My advice would be to get a job where you have to deal with people all day long like retail or restaurant. Even if its only a part time job. This will do more to help than virtually anything else because you will be forced to learn how to interact with people.
 
Joined
Apr 7, 2019
Messages
23
Reaction score
8
Age
30
My advice would be to get a job where you have to deal with people all day long like retail or restaurant. Even if its only a part time job. This will do more to help than virtually anything else because you will be forced to learn how to interact with people.
Interacting with people is not the issue. I have no issues with normal conversation/communication. The issue is showing attraction and expressing a desire for intimacy in a subtle, yet natural way.
 
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