Dude you are missing the point. It's not about money or being cheaper it's that guys are taking chicks to coffee shops all the time now. I haven't spent more then 10 bucks on first dates in a couple of years now and I haven't been going to coffee shops.
“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”
Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
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Suggesting a coffee date\meetup a bad move?
- Thread starter DJorBUST
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
typical
Master Don Juan
Well saidFrancisco d'Anconia said:
DonGorgon
Master Don Juan
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I MAKE IT CLEAR TO HOS THAT THIS AINT A DATE.... I JUST WANY CHILL WITH YOU A MIN. AND GET TO KNOW YOU AND SEE IF YOU ARE COOL OR NOT... yup
Hey, maybe that's why armadon takes them hiking?
As for me, I'm not missing your point at all. I completely understand your point. But my questions still remain: what happens if she shows up and she's a psycho? What happens if she's misrepresented herself and weighs 50 pounds more? What if she turns out to be humorless and gives you a hard time? With a meet over coffee, you're out of there fast. With a hike planned, traveling to the hike area and back, you're stuck unless you dump her.
There's pros and cons to everything, and it's just that with the online thing, there's more pros to cons to set up a meet over coffee. And there's lots of women that feel the same way, rather than be stuck uncomfortably with some guy that turns out to be a creep.
As to your point, once mutual chemistry is known, interest is there on both sides and you actually like each other THEN you can move on to the more interesting hiking dates.
DismantleRepair
Don Juan
Don't tell her "let me know", and don't waffle with "sometime". You're the man, you lead, and don't leave it up to her to decide. Tell her "meet me at x place at x time and we'll have coffee". If she's not free, suggest another time, but don't end up going through with her on every day, that's just lame and will make you look desperate. It might be useful to say you're busy on a day she suggests (even if you aren't), so you can define the when and where on your own terms.DJorBUST said:
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.