Successful LTRs

[Broham]

To quote Rick Pitino- "There's too much negativity on this board. It sucks, it stinks, and it sucks."

There are too many thread topics about failed LTRs and reasons why they failed and not enough success stories for us who have failed (like myself) in the past to learn from.

Fellas: If you are currently in a functional, stable LTR, post the reasons why you believe they have worked so far. If you were in a LTR with a quality woman in the past but it didn't work out because of external factors you couldn't control (i.e. distance), that's fine too.

Let's cut through the theory and get to the facts of what works.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

For me, what has worked so far was to keep doing what I was doing since the relationship start...
Most men start a relationship acting pretty confident and independent, but as they progress, they start being needy and the girl loses interest.
That's my point of view on this one...

Good point, but the question is why guys do that.

 

[speed dawg]

1) I found sosuave.com
2) I posted a bunch of AFC drivel and the guys here gave me a wake up call
3) Talk to girls, get your confidence back (and keep it for good)
4) Don't put up with sh!t at the beginning
5) Keep your backbone throughout the relationship
6) Communicate with each other
7) Keep your emotions in check

BUT, remember you have to be compatible with a woman too. For it to work, you have to play the masculine role with a woman that fits you.

 

[edger]

What other sites are out there that preach DJism? I read a post where someone mentioned one, but I forgot.

 

[WestCoaster]

The best LTR's end up in marriage, very few break-ups end well. I had one that ended well, we were just going in different directions. We were both in college, my first job put me far away ... we were also drifting away emotionally and physically. But it didn't end in yelling or screaming. I had another one that ended in yelling ... because I was AFC.

The key is to remain confident and poised amidst emotional sh-t that will be thrown your way, and it will be thrown your way. And as I always say, do your AFCing at home. I was getting played like a fiddle by this one gal a few years ago, I'd go home and throw sh-t around my apartment (pre sosuave.com days). Around her I was calm. She said, "Nothing seems to bother you, I like that," (if she only knew the truth; she bothered me). I did my AFCing at home.

Some breakups are meant to happen. There's a very good post/article on this, somewhere on this site.

Some LTR's are meant for a time and place: you're both young, not ready for marriage; you grow apart. Break-ups can be healthy. Reading this and the other boards, every breakup appears to border on the crisis level of 9/11. Nope, breakups happen, most for good reason. Move on, stay confident.

Enjoy LTR's while they happen. I used to put too much pressure on myself. Relax and have fun.

 

[Vulpine]

Fellas: If you are currently in a functional, stable LTR, post the reasons why you believe they have worked so far.

I'm in one.

I can trace back every "reason" back to one main underlying reason:

I don't need "her".​

I say "" "her" because I don't need the "other half", the "ball and chain", etc. I don't need a relationship, much less one that sucks. Now, I like this chick. I like her around. She smells nice. She understands that.

BUT

She also understands that I don't need her. So, any negativity she wants to conjur up, I don't need either. See? If she negatively affects my life, I'm going to cut that cancer out with a butter knife if I have to.

Perhaps I'm a bit extreme, perhaps not, but she is on "roommate" status. I moved her in (too early, imo) with me to help her out of a nasty position she was in. She's not on the lease, because that favor seriously needs to be lorded over her. She needs to bring half to the relationship, because, I function fine on my own.

A guy where she works got wind of her being "down to the wire" with coming up with her share of rent for the month. This guy told her, "Just give him a BJ when you get home." Later, when I showed up, she parroted what he said back to me, with him sitting right next to me. She rolled her eyes knowingly, because she knew how well that that would fly. I laughed, then I turned to the guy and laughed in his face...

V: *matter-of-factually* "I don't need to pay $325.ºº for a blºwjºb, buddy. I get them for free."

Dude:

V: "If I DID have to pay $325.ºº for 'a' blºwjºb, it would be 'a' bj from 8 different women, one for every night of the week, two on Sunday, and I would have an extra room in my apartment."

Dude: *looks at my gf* :nervous:

GF: :yawn:

See?

If she lasts a year, maybe I'll take her off "roommate" status... maybe.

From context in discussions between her and her mother, I gather that she STILL gets far more from our relationship than I do. ...or at least, that's the perception she has, and one that I will continue to let her have. See, I get paid $325 a month for a steady piece of ass.

It's generally accepted as truth around here that the person with the most power in a relationship is the one who needs the other the least. (Rollo Tomassi) After finding this site, and aligning my inner game, I realized that I never need any woman, and thus will always be the pillar of any relationsip I'm ever going to be in... as it should be, because I'm a man.

BUT, remember you have to be compatible with a woman too. For it to work, you have to play the masculine role with a woman that fits you.

So true. Fortunately, this one really surprised me with how compatible she is. Now, whether it's faked because of high IL or real has yet to be seen. Hence the "roommate" status. She has two very calculated, very measureable hurdles to clear before I will be comfortable being "more serious".