"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Successes Forum Is Counter Productive

DeepBlue

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Note: I originally posted this in the Anything Else forum (in response to stuartSan's rant about the success forum) but then I realized I probably should have posted it here...


I think having a separate "successes" section is counter productive.

a) it vaguely suggests that the other sections are about failure

b) it takes some of the fun out of the other sections. It is good to unexpectedly come across an occasional success story now and then in the other sections. That makes the sections feel like a healthy balance of success and failure. Segregating the successes into a separate section is like taking all the chips out of a chocolate chip cookie. Neither the cookie, nor the pile of chips ends up as satisfying as they were to begin with.

It was a well intentioned idea though, and it has helped to demonstrate how good the sosuave forum arrangement was to begin with.

DeepBlue
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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De La Soul

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It's a badly-kept secret.
Originally posted by DeepBlue:

a) it vaguely suggests that the other sections are about failure

b) it takes some of the fun out of the other sections. It is good to unexpectedly come across an occasional success story now and then in the other sections. That makes the sections feel like a healthy balance of success and failure. Segregating the successes into a separate section is like taking all the chips out of a chocolate chip cookie. Neither the cookie, nor the pile of chips ends up as satisfying as they were to begin with.
DeepBlue
a) I strongly disagree. The other forums are places of learning and sharing advice. The Success stories forum is for sharing how people have put the advice into practice and with what results.

b) I agree

CONCLUSION: I don't think the Success Stories forum isn't necessary because we can simply post our success stories in pre-existing threads (we're its easier to find success stories for a given topic) i.e. if there is a thread about eye-contact you can post about how you used eye-contact well/poorly in that thread, it doesn't need its own forum.
 

DeepBlue

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De La Soul wrote:
CONCLUSION: I don't think the Success Stories forum isn't necessary....



DeepBlue replies:

yadalayadalayadalayadalay [head spinning from double negatives]

I'm still trying to compute the outcome of what you meant there.
 

Kodak

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I think the Success Forum is a little unnecessary. The really good stories should get Archived, and the 'I got my first number' posts are nice to come across in Discussion.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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