"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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stuttering

iCY

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stuttering when talking is not just something that effects us all every now and then.
for some its a disease, that has affected their lives for years. youve prolly seen someone like this

it makes approaching very difficult and conversations very difficult. Its not just a matter of getting nervous during an approach. You stutter when ur doing anything, talking in class, placing an order, on the fone with tech support or something. just wondering if any one else here suffers from this and what you do to help fix it

what has worked for me so far is slowing down everything i do, breathing slower, talking slower, and moving slower.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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tactic

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stuttering occurs because you think to fast

which means you're smart inside but you don't seem like it on the outside.

or stuttering is just a habit or because you want to say so much and you're nervous.
 

DJ_Dork

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I stutter occasionally, but the above poster is right. Your thinking process is fast so when you talk you try to talk as fast as you think. Now I use a 3 second rule to wait till the speaker finishes before I speak.
 

blue17

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I used to stutter a lot more than I do now. Basically just 'taking it easy'....or forcing yourself to slow down helps out a lot.
 

ScrewIt

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Originally posted by tactic
stuttering occurs because you think to fast

which means you're smart inside but you don't seem like it on the outside.

or stuttering is just a habit or because you want to say so much and you're nervous.
very true.

every now and then i stutter when talking (it appears as if im mumbling), sometimes it's due to nervousness, sometimes it's just a bad habit.

my boss yesterday asked me to answer any incoming phone calls in the office (the secretary was out sick) the first few calls i stuttered. but after i got the hang of it, i was smooth sailing and confident. this was due to nervousness on the phone.

If stuttering is due to your nervousness, all i can say is practice makes perfect.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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thebsharp

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3 second is IMO too long, you come off like a dork that have to think hard about what to say.
 

Eighth Passenger

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I stutter but it's not like "th...th...the...bo...boy". Sometimes I have words on the tip of my tongue but they don't want to come out. I usually slow down which helps.
 

PocoDiablo

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This may be totally wrong, but this is what I have noticed: When I am with someone who is stuttering, it makes me stutter as well. Go figure!

It's almost a form of subtle passive-agressive control IMO.

I have found that when I meet someone who stutters, if I can just talk normally to them, they quickly get over it. I know that's obvious, because they gain confidence, but it just seems odd. The last guy I met who stuttered, a few weeks ago, was really bad on the phone. But JUST on the phone. In person he did not stutter once. Then when he called back, he stuttered again!

Maybe it was just my cell phone. ;)
 

Valdez

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Actually, for people who are chronic stutterers, the problem lies more in the improper sychronization of the vocal chords and muscles in the mouth. I myself have stuttered ever since I could talk and have done quite some research on the subject. Now I do not stutter in the sense of Hi I'm B-b-b-brian...its more like...Hi I'm...Brian, basically pauses mid sentence or before I talk. I don't really have much time to comment about it right now, but some good sites to go to would be stuttering.org or hcri.com.

Slowing down and taking deep breaths are in fact good ways to lessen the severety of stuttering, but severe stutterers need to basically relearn how to talk in order to effectively communicate. Luckily I don't stutter bad and I'm pretty decent looking. The thing is though, on my good days, you won't find a more confident talker than me.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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DeathDealer

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Originally posted by thebsharp
3 second is IMO too long, you come off like a dork that have to think hard about what to say.
Bush sounded like a dork during the debates cause he didn't pause and answered back coherently like Kerry. But then again the bible belt only cares about protecting their agenda than having a real leader.
 
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