Struggling with staying on track

[DongWong]

Hey DJ fam. I hope this is the right place to vent. Today, I felt like absolute sh1t. Actually, I feel sh1tty almost everyday. Not sure if I'm depressed, I have felt this way since freshman year of high school. I am 24 now, and I feel like I've hit some existential crisis. I just graduated college last year and all I've been doing is work, intern, and gym. I have this strange fear that I'm going to be 30 years old soon and I have to rush to get to where I want to get before I hit rock bottom. I'm planning to go back to school for a masters program. The only time I feel happy is if I'm making progress, I always try to push myself. However, I can't help but to feel unmotivated almost everyday, I procrastinate on my time off from work and just get into "escape mode" relaxing and watching tv or wasting time with distractions such as social media.

I've never really had any quality friends, mainly acquaintances, and I've cut out about 99% of the people that I used to associate with. I am feeling extreme isolation and loneliness. Sometimes I feel so unmotivated, I can't get out of my bed. I only go out when I need to (e.g., work, grocery shopping, etc.) I practice being social, talking everyone just so I can get some human interaction, but at the end of the day, I feel alone. I've been rejected by a lot of females, and some of them were straight up b1tches. My self-confidence was fragile and shattered. I worked hard on myself physically and mentally, and still felt inadequate because I had a hard time accepting myself right now instead of "I need to get better". I am into self-improvement, so that's why I want to improve. I know I have to live in the present but I feel fearful and get stuck in the past and the future. It even sucks getting blown out by ugly chicks, I know I could do better, but it is preposterous how even ugly chicks gets to be choosy cus some guys would f*** anything.

Always feeling social anxiety, feeling extremely awkward inside. Slowly pushing myself to doing more approaches. The average has been 8 approaches a month, no luck. I can't let this lack of success with women diminish me and stop me from progressing in life towards my goals. I guess it was my upbringing, being the youngest sibling, and parents just not having the confidence in me thus not allowing me to do anything fun because they were overprotective, so I was a bit sheltered growing up. A bunch of sh1thead friends that never supported me doing anything and c0ckblocked me. My life now just feels empty and meaningless and it makes me question "is this it? Is this my lot in life? Is there more to this? Is it over? Is this what I'm going to experience the rest of my life?" I can't help but to ruminate on those things, and seeing some people in their 30's and 40's not achieving their full potential scares the fvck outta me. Also I can't help but to feel envious of people who have great social lives, girlfriends, friends, supportive family, etc. their lives seems like it keeps expanding and growing while I feel like I'm stuck in neutral. I feel really sh1tty when I view people's lives through social media, I can't help but to live vicariously through them. This is the end of my rant...for now. At least that's all that I can think of as of now.

Sorry if it seems like it's a bunch of rambling(probably is) but my mind is all over the place and I can't fvckin sleep.

P.S. Not a virgin, just never had a gf or anything meaningful. However, I did have two hb8 and hb9 approach me and hooked up with them during college, I honestly didn't know how that happened, but I got lucky.

Tl;Dr: feel like crap, no friends, lonely, fear of getting old, fear of hitting rock bottom, feels like a pointless existence, constant rejection, never had a gf, even gets rejected by ugly b1tches, lack of motivation, extreme procrastination.

 

[ZTIME]

First off, the lack of motivation, and social circles is self inflicted. You need to know and understand this moving forward. You're choosing to be lazy and watch tv as opposed to getting out.

Yoga classes, meditation classes, churches, young entrepreneurs meetings, sports clubs, etc. are all available in your area. Why not join a few of those? They're great places to increase your social circle.......your couch is not.

Secondly, using your upbringing or past experiences for being who you are today is a defeatist approach. Understanding your past and allowing it to make yourself want to succeed is a better approach. (I.e. Fvck what my family did or said, I'm the best there is period...watch this!)

Next, thinking about the future without a plan is just dreaming. (Or a nightmare depending on where you're at today). Wouldn't it be smarter to start a plan the protects your future (mentally, physically, and financially)?

Right now your best commodity is your time. It seems like you are investing it unwisely, and your R.O.I. Is directly related to your bad investment decessions.

Everything you do now is choice based. Why choose to make yourself a non social criminal, when you could choose to be fun and free spirited.

Read and change your mindset! The confidence it produces will fix the chick and friend issues....... This works best.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

[QUOTE="ZTIME, post: 2344303, member: 127831"
Yoga classes, meditation classes, churches, young entrepreneurs meetings, sports clubs, etc. are all available in your area. Why not join a few of those? They're great places to increase your social circle.......your couch is not.

[/QUOTE]
This is your key problem. You say you work hard on self-improvement, so I'm assuming your goals are all ok, and you are working towards them. So the problem is your social circle. You have none. It's ok, you'll make them. Having a social life is CRUCIAL to your well-being, you'll go crazy without one. We are SOCIAL animals, the lone life is not for us. A lot of guys in the manosphere, myself included, say "cut off toxic people". This is right, you don't want to be around them, but no-one is saying "be alone", and yet, a lot of guys make this problem. And the cause is always the same...you didn't have any quality friends beforehand, so you when you decide to do better and you stop hanging out with that people, you are left alone. And then social anxiety grows in you because...you are an outsider! Having no social group makes you an outsider of society! So you feel threatened because people tend to be mean to those outside the group, and this used to have a good reason, after all, you might want their resources. When you have a social circle, or various social circles (ideally this) you will feel ok when interacting with people outside yours because you have your back covered! And because you will be far more relaxed, they will treat you better, for you will not come off as weird, as someone with second intentions going on in the interaction.

So...work in building various social circles! This is your top key priority. It will give you friends, so you feel happy, it will make your interactions with other people easier, and it will give you the opportunity to exercise social circle game! Three birds, one stone.
But you wanted to have productive friends right? That's why I quoted ZTIME: join a "something you are into" club. A lot of other guys with the same interest in bettering themselves will attend these places. Talk with them, invite them to events that both of you might be interested, invite them to other clubs you are in if they are interested...and become part of their social circle! Once you have done this, and you have lets say 3,4 guys...create your own social circle! Invite them all to something productive such as going to the gym at the same time, or running together "hey, I go running with another guy who's really cool and all into living a healthy life, come with us!". So this way you'll have a main social circle of cool guys who will invite to their own social gatherings with their own circle! Now you have no excuse, you know how to do it, and why to do it. Do it.

 

[marmel75]

Get your testosterone levels checked. Number 1 reason for feeling this way as you get older