Strangest Situation I've Encountered

[AJ84]

I've never heard this advice on ultimatums before. The advice is solid and makes sense. I'm curious why she agreed to the first ultimatum then

Well, she didn't though did she? She never slept with you.

It sounds like you have other girls to be with that hopefully aren't as flakey as this one. She also seems to be playing you trying to get you to be an orbiter. Don't waste any more of your time on this one. Go have fun with your other plates.

 

[marmel75]

You are allowing this woman to play games with you after that silly FWB ultimatum. She is seeing how long she can go by toyign with you like a cat does with a mouse. You should have kicked her ass straight out of the house if she wasn't interested in sex. "Sorry, you are going to have to go...I don't let women sleep over unless we are involved."

Ironically, I worked this in reverse a few years ago with a woman who was playing games with me. I was at her house, it was late and she told me I could stay over at her house and sleep in her bed. I got her mostly naked and started fingering her, but she then shut down any further attempts. My phone received a few text messages while this was going on. So I got up and saw it was 2 of my buddies texting me asking if I was coming out. I calmly started getting dressed without saying a word and she looked at me and said:

"What are you doing?"
and I said "I am getting dressed".
She says "Why aren't you staying?"
And I say "Nope...I got someone else who wants to see me."
And she was like "Those were other women texting you weren't they?"
I say "Maybe" with a smirk.
I turn around to pick up my shirt and put it on and turn around and see her standing in front of the bedroom door.
She says "You aren't going ANYWHERE"
And I proceeded to pound her senseless for the next 3 hours going multiple rounds...

I didn't lie, I just let her believe what she wanted to and she decided if I had other options she wanted me for herself...

Women are competetive. She needs to know you have other options, even if you don't you need to act like you do.

If you find yourself in this situation again, calmly let her know she is going to have to leave. Don't be mad about it or pout or upset, but be firm.
Chances are she is going to give it up once she sees her tactics aren't going to work.

 

[Dingo]

You're her gay best friend...

Kidding.... she's a loon.... Move on....

 

[RichardTheFrog]

You are allowing this woman to play games with you after that silly FWB ultimatum. She is seeing how long she can go by toyign with you like a cat does with a mouse. You should have kicked her ass straight out of the house if she wasn't interested in sex. "Sorry, you are going to have to go...I don't let women sleep over unless we are involved."

Ironically, I worked this in reverse a few years ago with a woman who was playing games with me. I was at her house, it was late and she told me I could stay over at her house and sleep in her bed. I got her mostly naked and started fingering her, but she then shut down any further attempts. My phone received a few text messages while this was going on. So I got up and saw it was 2 of my buddies texting me asking if I was coming out. I calmly started getting dressed without saying a word and she looked at me and said:

"What are you doing?"
and I said "I am getting dressed".
She says "Why aren't you staying?"
And I say "Nope...I got someone else who wants to see me."
And she was like "Those were other women texting you weren't they?"
I say "Maybe" with a smirk.
I turn around to pick up my shirt and put it on and turn around and see her standing in front of the bedroom door.
She says "You aren't going ANYWHERE"
And I proceeded to pound her senseless for the next 3 hours going multiple rounds...

I didn't lie, I just let her believe what she wanted to and she decided if I had other options she wanted me for herself...

Women are competetive. She needs to know you have other options, even if you don't you need to act like you do.

If you find yourself in this situation again, calmly let her know she is going to have to leave. Don't be mad about it or pout or upset, but be firm.
Chances are she is going to give it up once she sees her tactics aren't going to work.

Was she hot?

That's really all that matters.

 

[Roober]

Women have two types of friends, girlfriends and boyfriends. If your not ****ing her, your her girlfriend

 

[marmel75]

Was she hot?

That's really all that matters.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

I only speak English.

 

[John345]

So I did as many of you mentioned and have ignored her. She has contacted me three times, since I posted this, without a response from me. I feel a power balance shift. But I also don't want to be played for a fool. At what point should I invite her over again (I am aware there is a chance that once again she could tease me with kisses and her naked body without sex) or should I just permanently next her. Another option I am thinking, but am not sure is a good idea, is to covertly let her know I am spinning other plates so that she is more careful with the moves she makes

 

[Asasione]

So I did as many of you mentioned and have ignored her. She has contacted me three times, since I posted this, without a response from me. I feel a power balance shift. But I also don't want to be played for a fool. At what point should I invite her over again (I am aware there is a chance that once again she could tease me with kisses and her naked body without sex) or should I just permanently next her. Another option I am thinking, but am not sure is a good idea, is to covertly let her know I am spinning other plates so that she is more careful with the moves she makes

Just next her, many more women available why struggle with this one when she had two chances and didn't do her end of the deal despite agreeing to FWB. Focus on your current plates and personal goals. I don't get the idea of giving someone an ultimatum and not acting like an arse when she's with you physically, seems like a lack of congruence in your words and actions.

The first time you were fooling around with her and she's giving you resistance that's when you look at her like what the f*#& is she doing and amp the pressure cause you're in a position of power, she knows it, not advocating rape but just tell her to put out or piss off, either with words or with your actions.

 

[Harry Wilmington SLW]

Geez, my brain got exhausted reading about this scenario!

My bad - it's just... I'm 35. At this age, I don't even try to analyze why a girl I want to get with is acting a certain way to where we don't hook up. I'm a "bottom line" kinda guy, so here it is:

She has NO agenda. She's not trying to build up emotional whatevers so you'll commit to her. Nor is she trying to sleep with you.

It doesn't really matter WHY she's doing it. What does matter, however, is that your brain is trying to justify these behaviors because your ego hates the idea that a girl this pretty would hang around you for this long and still NOT want to bang you.

I know. It sucks. We've all been there.

However, the end result of all her behaviors is the same, regardless of reason: that she's NOT hooking up with you.

Do you know how much women actually LIKE sex?? Much more than we do - that's why they're so selective of who they have it with. They know if they connect with a guy they don't want to be with yet the sex is mind-blowing, she could become addicted to a guy she knows isn't who she should be with.

This isn't to say that she's made this decision about you already. But, more likely than not she has, so she's not giving it up.

Again, women LOVE sex. And, if she wanted to have it with you, she would have done so by now.

 

[marmel75]

So I did as many of you mentioned and have ignored her. She has contacted me three times, since I posted this, without a response from me. I feel a power balance shift. But I also don't want to be played for a fool. At what point should I invite her over again (I am aware there is a chance that once again she could tease me with kisses and her naked body without sex) or should I just permanently next her. Another option I am thinking, but am not sure is a good idea, is to covertly let her know I am spinning other plates so that she is more careful with the moves she makes

Invite her over again, if she isn't down then do what I said and kick her out. DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES LET HER SPEND THE NIGHT UNLESS YOU FVCKED HER.

 

[John345]

Invite her over again, if she isn't down then do what I said and kick her out. DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES LET HER SPEND THE NIGHT UNLESS YOU FVCKED HER.

This is good advice, but I do see a couple potential problems with doing this. For one, when she is over, it will likely be after one of my fraternity parties so likely she will be a bit too drunk to drive. Second she lives 20 miles away and can't walk. Would a sufficient alternative be that I force her to sleep on the couch or I sleep on the couch?

 

[Floydispink01]

Ultimatums are nothing more than passive aggressive attempts to try to manage the power that someone has over you. You say you are currently spinning multiple plates? Then spin on and simply drop this girl and take back your balls.

Spot on. Great post.

 

[marmel75]

This is good advice, but I do see a couple potential problems with doing this. For one, when she is over, it will likely be after one of my fraternity parties so likely she will be a bit too drunk to drive. Second she lives 20 miles away and can't walk. Would a sufficient alternative be that I force her to sleep on the couch or I sleep on the couch?

Tell her she can catch an Uber/Lyft, and make her pay for it. Tell her she can go lay down in the back of her car. Tell her whatever you want to tell her but tell her she isn't staying there. Treat her the same way she is treating you. Stop caring so much, she obviously doesn't care about you.

Stop being a nice guy. Nice guys don't get laid. They get toyed with.

 

[John345]

This situation is over. Nothing interesting or Hollywood like in ending. I invited her over one more time, she flaked. I grew a pair of balls and deleted and blocked. One less crazy in my life. Time to replace the plate.

 

[marmel75]

This situation is over. Nothing interesting or Hollywood like in ending. I invited her over one more time, she flaked. I grew a pair of balls and deleted and blocked. One less crazy in my life. Time to replace the plate.

Problem solved. Just know she will likely contact you again at some point for validation...chicks are good at figuring out ways around blocks.