hey all - first time posting here, but i have read posts from other members of the community for a while now. great advice given on this site and i'm hoping i can also have some...
i'm 25, recently met a 28 year old woman and we've been seeing each other for about a month. after a month is when i usually start noticing quirks about the person i'm seeing and i decide whether or not they bother me enough to stay in a relationship (a bad habit, i know). things were going well, though moving a bit fast - when i first started seeing her, i told her i might not be ready for a serious, committed relationship and she said she was ok with that. in this month, there have been a few red flags: too much ex-boyfriend talk, casually mentioning meeting her parents, telling me she's ready to settle down and get married (imo, no need to mention this, i just assumed that was the case).
last week on her birthday, i take her to the coast for lunch on the waterfront, and she's being whiny and unappreciative throughout. i had never witnessed her being a "diva" before, and it rubs me the wrong way. a couple of days later, i bring these issues up with her, telling her the things above that bothered me about the relationship and suggest that we take things slower. this of course turns into an all night argument though it does get resolved, and the next morning she asks that i come over for dinner to relax and get our minds off the night's conversation.
before dinner, i meet her at a local wine bar where she is with her coworkers. when i meet her, she is very drunk and clearly running through a gamut of emotions. she's being very affectionate yet continually bringing up the very issues that bothered me from the night before. she mentioned that she may be ready to get married in 6 months to a year and "i would have to be OK with that", that her parents are a huge part of her life and i'd have to meet them soon, that she couldn't believe i would want to take things slower with her / consider breaking things off with her. she then bursts into tears telling me about how her father thinks she's a "worthless" person...just a huge spectrum of emotions. when we get back to her place, her emotional roller coaster peaks as she slaps me across the face for no good reason at all, citing that she wanted to do it the night before. i completely remove myself from the situation and leave her place angrily.
she eventually apologizes for slapping me and asks to meet up to talk about things in person, knowing that i am very upset. i (foolishly?) agree to meet with her and talk, and i bring up the events that took place at the wine bar / her place and tell her that i was done with the relationship. she says she has no recollection of the night's events minus the slapping, and says that she probably shouldn't have seen me that night because she was clearly not over the conversation we had the night before. she then goes on to tell me that it's not fair to her that i focus on her "negative traits" instead of her positive traits, that people break up over small arguments, and basically rejects the idea of breaking up. she instead suggests that we reset and start fresh without any expectations, and see each other on the weekend. i'm just sitting there sort of confused because i've never had someone reject a breakup so vehemently.
so now what do i do? i do like her, but there seems to be a small chance things will actually work out. i also don't understand why she seems to be so attached to me and i'm even more confused by the fact that she wants to take things slower (which is what i wanted, but is now something that she is suggesting). is she just telling me what i want to hear? what is going on?
i'm 25, recently met a 28 year old woman and we've been seeing each other for about a month. after a month is when i usually start noticing quirks about the person i'm seeing and i decide whether or not they bother me enough to stay in a relationship (a bad habit, i know). things were going well, though moving a bit fast - when i first started seeing her, i told her i might not be ready for a serious, committed relationship and she said she was ok with that. in this month, there have been a few red flags: too much ex-boyfriend talk, casually mentioning meeting her parents, telling me she's ready to settle down and get married (imo, no need to mention this, i just assumed that was the case).
last week on her birthday, i take her to the coast for lunch on the waterfront, and she's being whiny and unappreciative throughout. i had never witnessed her being a "diva" before, and it rubs me the wrong way. a couple of days later, i bring these issues up with her, telling her the things above that bothered me about the relationship and suggest that we take things slower. this of course turns into an all night argument though it does get resolved, and the next morning she asks that i come over for dinner to relax and get our minds off the night's conversation.
before dinner, i meet her at a local wine bar where she is with her coworkers. when i meet her, she is very drunk and clearly running through a gamut of emotions. she's being very affectionate yet continually bringing up the very issues that bothered me from the night before. she mentioned that she may be ready to get married in 6 months to a year and "i would have to be OK with that", that her parents are a huge part of her life and i'd have to meet them soon, that she couldn't believe i would want to take things slower with her / consider breaking things off with her. she then bursts into tears telling me about how her father thinks she's a "worthless" person...just a huge spectrum of emotions. when we get back to her place, her emotional roller coaster peaks as she slaps me across the face for no good reason at all, citing that she wanted to do it the night before. i completely remove myself from the situation and leave her place angrily.
she eventually apologizes for slapping me and asks to meet up to talk about things in person, knowing that i am very upset. i (foolishly?) agree to meet with her and talk, and i bring up the events that took place at the wine bar / her place and tell her that i was done with the relationship. she says she has no recollection of the night's events minus the slapping, and says that she probably shouldn't have seen me that night because she was clearly not over the conversation we had the night before. she then goes on to tell me that it's not fair to her that i focus on her "negative traits" instead of her positive traits, that people break up over small arguments, and basically rejects the idea of breaking up. she instead suggests that we reset and start fresh without any expectations, and see each other on the weekend. i'm just sitting there sort of confused because i've never had someone reject a breakup so vehemently.
so now what do i do? i do like her, but there seems to be a small chance things will actually work out. i also don't understand why she seems to be so attached to me and i'm even more confused by the fact that she wants to take things slower (which is what i wanted, but is now something that she is suggesting). is she just telling me what i want to hear? what is going on?
