"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Strange Girl

Disco

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I was talking to this chick and then she became unreachable about two weeks ago. I left her one message, she didn't call back and I didn't try her again. This morning this was in my email.
Not sure how to handle this. She's hot, but at the same time I don't appreciate the flakey behavior at all.


"Hola....I just was thinking about you today for some reason and wanted to say hi. I hope you have recoved well from the weekend in Atlanta. So...since I'm not nearly as clever as you I'll just ask you...when are we going hiking? Or, when are we going anything? I think eithered be lovely. "

Advice please. I'd still love to do something with her, but damn. I mean should I put off getting back to her?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Disco

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ok so no advice from you guys. this is what i replied with. i mean i can either wait a few days and let the games continue or get them over with now.

"What a surprise to hear from you. I actually thought that you went into Internet Retirement. Then I realized that your only 23 and need to be 25 to do that. Your question is when are we going to hang out? I don't know, with your recent disappearance your stock has almost bottomed out.

Well you wanna go hiking? It starts with returning a phone call. I went 10 miles last weekend like I had planned and I'm going to Florida for a long one this weekend. If you wanna do something on the weekend of the 19th I'm game. We can talk about it more on the phone after you refer to step one on how to go hiking. Hiking, dinner and hanging out with me is what I'm offering. That's usually the jackpot for the Georgia lottery so I consider that a damn good deal. "
 

Caveman

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Only thing I don't like:

Well you wanna go hiking? It starts with returning a phone call.
Imo this shows you're a little upset with her not calling. But then the rest of the mail is C&F. You are telling her your life is not on hold cuz she hasn't returned your call. Sounds pretty okay with me.

I am pretty sure however that she is trying to see if she can reel you back in after not answering your call for 2 weeks. My advice would be: Be careful and watch her actions closely.
 

Disco

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I'm not upset at all actually. I was just telling her that would be a start b/c I made the last call.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Caveman

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Okay: let me put it this way: If I think that says you're upset, NewMan thinks you're upset.. wouldn't she think you're upset?

It comes off a little bitter. Maybe you didn't mean it like that, it just comes off that way. But like I said: the rest of the mail was C&F so you probably shouldn't think too much about it.
 

Pimp-sicle

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I think your reply was perfect. You let her know that you don't tolerate disrespect and that it doesn't bother you that much. Way to hold your head up and be a man. Don't invest too much time in this girl when she's not investing too much time in you.



PIMP
 

Disco

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thanks caveman. we'll see what happens and i'll post it to this thread. she is either going to tell me to f.o. or appoligize and go with me. if she goes i'm sure it'll be a good night in the end. she did tell me that she dated a guy for 5 years that was an a$$hole so i'm sure this is right up her alley.
 

NatureGuy

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I also agree with Caveman on this one. You
do sound a little upset or annoyed, and as he says, be careful.
 

Disco

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Who cares. I wrote this chick off anyway. If she wants to pick it up with me it is her that is going to have to do some work.

I also think that the way you read things is a reflection on the way you are used to people talking to you. Me, I'm a pretty confident person. A bit narcistic, so I would read that as a road map on how to hang out with me. To me it's more of an underlying message about respecting me. And the way that you do that is by meeting me in the middle.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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DJ_Dork

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Originally posted by Disco
Who cares. I wrote this chick off anyway. If she wants to pick it up with me it is her that is going to have to do some work.

I also think that the way you read things is a reflection on the way you are used to people talking to you. Me, I'm a pretty confident person. A bit narcistic, so I would read that as a road map on how to hang out with me. To me it's more of an underlying message about respecting me. And the way that you do that is by meeting me in the middle.
that's the right attitude. email her back and agree, but she has to come to your place, not meet at some place.
 

Phrozen

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Thats ****y, but the funny is absent.

I agree with being a bit smug with her, but with that reply I don't think you've really provided her with any reason to look forward to your next get together. Keep it more light hearted. It should come across like you're teasing her, not scolding her.
 

Tkman

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Originally posted by Disco
"Hola....I just was thinking about you today for some reason and wanted to say hi.
Bull**** this chick is used to idiots leaving her 873324 messages and now because you stood your ground, you shock her.


The hunted will become the hunter !!!!!!!!!
 

Disco

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Thanks for all the input. Just two years ago I would've never of handle it like this. I do think some of it is funny, she knows my sense of humor but has pushed to the stern side until now. She'll call come over and I'll get ladi within the next 10 days tops.
 
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Write, "Were you in a coma for the past few weeks? I'm glad you recovered and have the strength to go hiking - give me a call so that I know that this is you writing this e-mail and not an imposter!"
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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