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corrector

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I think your focus on the definitions is causing you to miss my point..

By natural you mean they happened with little effort and you not having to force yourself outside of your comfort zone?
By natural, it means I did not pay a woman. Some incels have only paid to get intimate, and apart from paying for it they have no hope to be intimate with anyone unless they pay for it. They are called escortcels.

Going into further layer, the two relationships occurred by a couple of flukes. One of them was someone I met online, or via online dating. I was getting rejected by everyone on there but just got a break with her and it developed into something that year before collapsing. The second one my father initiated a conversation with my ex-wife's mother and the pair came near our table. I look at both of them as flukes, or "incel-breaks", the foundations were too unstable for a longer than 9 month relationship.

GrowingPains said:
You want/need more interactions with women. Yet you are not taking actions to create them. That's problem with every 'x'-cel. Whining but no action. There's your answer. Take action.
Seriously there are allot of threads around saying cold approaching is one of the worst ways to meet women, or that unless you have solid looks, that you just really have social circle game to work with, if at that.

The issue is when there is advice given to incels, but when you look feedbacks from average guys who are failing during cold approaches, or average guys using online dating and then making pathetic threads about cratered SMV post-wall women and pining over them, it doesn't really sound very inspiring to me. It's like if it has to be that bad then what's the point.

However, I get the issue that trying, even if you try and fail, sounds like a more worthy narrative coming from me. It at least does leave a serious plot-hole if there is only one approach of an elderly Asian woman in the past month. But it's still one for the record. I like the actress from Killing Eve, I think Sarah Oh or something, there so I think she may have looked a bit like her.
 

GrowingPains

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By natural, it means I did not pay a woman. Some incels have only paid to get intimate, and apart from paying for it they have no hope to be intimate with anyone unless they pay for it. They are called escortcels.

Going into further layer, the two relationships occurred by a couple of flukes. One of them was someone I met online, or via online dating. I was getting rejected by everyone on there but just got a break with her and it developed into something that year before collapsing. The second one my father initiated a conversation with my ex-wife's mother and the pair came near our table. I look at both of them as flukes, or "incel-breaks", the foundations were too unstable for a longer than 9 month relationship.



Seriously there are allot of threads around saying cold approaching is one of the worst ways to meet women, or that unless you have solid looks, that you just really have social circle game to work with, if at that.

The issue is when there is advice given to incels, but when you look feedbacks from average guys who are failing during cold approaches, or average guys using online dating and then making pathetic threads about cratered SMV post-wall women and pining over them, it doesn't really sound very inspiring to me. It's like if it has to be that bad then what's the point.

However, I get the issue that trying, even if you try and fail, sounds like a more worthy narrative coming from me. It at least does leave a serious plot-hole if there is only one approach of an elderly Asian woman in the past month. But it's still one for the record. I like the actress from Killing Eve, I think Sarah Oh or something, there so I think she may have looked a bit like her.
Bro... This is how the world works. You will find few women who you connect with. The same way every person you meet is not going to end up being a friend. Or even a best friend. So if that's the case, why would adding the factor of attraction into the equation make the odds any different? It should only make it harder. You should expect this. And accept this.

I don't care about the incel point anymore. I care about the fact that you just keep making points that serve as excuses to why you can't change your situation.

You say there's tons of threads of people on the internet saying approaching is hard/bad/whatever. I interpret that as 'there are tons of threads where people are b1tching about their circumstances'. You need to do SOMETHING to change your circumstance. A rock isn't just going to suddenly move one day. Yet you've offered me nothing in regard to how you plan to change.

You asked what I suggest. But I think it will mean more if you come up with them yourself. If the next post reads like an excuse or you beating around the bush rather than you taking responsibility for how things are going then I'm not responding again.

I will even help you out with an example. "I'm not getting opportunities to interact with women because I don't create them. I am not satisfied with the quality of the women I attached but I don't do anything to improve my character and appearance which will attract more quality women". Damn I gave you two, see my two and raise me 4.
 

corrector

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Yet you've offered me nothing in regard to how you plan to change.
I think I hinted at social circles and that is also the consensus opinion on here.

GrowingPains said:
You asked what I suggest. But I think it will mean more if you come up with them yourself.
Fair enough. I assume you were talking about cold approaching the way your posts are sounding.

GrowingPains said:
If the next post reads like an excuse or you beating around the bush rather than you taking responsibility for how things are going then I'm not responding again.
I will even help you out with an example. "I'm not getting opportunities to interact with women because I don't create them. I am not satisfied with the quality of the women I attached but I don't do anything to improve my character and appearance which will attract more quality women". Damn I gave you two, see my two and raise me 4.
I'm not talking to a women inside a cinema about a movie that just played because I watch movies at home rather than visit the cinema and watch them there. I'm not talking to women at church because I'm not part of any small group and I just leave with my folks and get out of there because socializing is too high energy for my low energy self. You mean like that?
 

GrowingPains

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I'm not talking to a women inside a cinema about a movie that just played because I watch movies at home rather than visit the cinema and watch them there. I'm not talking to women at church because I'm not part of any small group and I just leave with my folks and get out of there because socializing is too high energy for my low energy self. You mean like that?
The way you answer is like you're not willing to take any responsibility or able to come up with the idea that maybe you should take some initiative and make an effort to do something different. To you, you just 'are the way you are' and the world isn't rewarding you for it as it should.

And I don't see how any man can come to this forum and still have that mindset having been here for 10 years.

It doesn't make sense. SoSuave is about making yourself the best you can be and yet there are so many unwilling to change. Or seeing why it's necessary. It's mind-blowing.

Good luck man, I guess it just comes back to the fact that you can't help others unless they want to be helped. I don't have anymore to say, it's all there.
 
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I will even help you out with an example. "I'm not getting opportunities to interact with women because I don't create them. I am not satisfied with the quality of the women I attached but I don't do anything to improve my character and appearance which will attract more quality women". Damn I gave you two, see my two and raise me 4.
What the fvck are you talking about here then? You brought up a challenge, I replied to this and you come up with B.S.

No one else are liking your lame-a$$ posts because you are offering no helpful advice.
 
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GrowingPains

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Then you interpret it dead wrong.

I can understand that you have got into approaching or whatever and are passionate about it. But your insistence that he sarge, and your given ultimatum are very misplaced. Check yourself and relax.

Fellow should be building up his confidence more naturally with people. Social-circle.
I'm not passionate about pickup. I said nothing about him sarging. And actually, I don't recall saying anything explicitly telling him to cold approach.

My angle is that OP needs to take responsibility for the fact that he's not going beyond his daily routine, which clearly isn't working, and creating opportunities to meet women. Everything he says in response is an excuse for not taking action or blaming external things for his situation.

It's a really simple three step process.

1. Admit the issue.
2. Figure out ways to start interacting with women.
3. Do it.
 

Suave88

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About a week ago a collage-aged lady (as it appeared) approached me just after I got in my car and asked me if I could take her to a city that was about a half hour - 45 minutes away. I offered her $ 20 instead. She had this cold/flu and had a big set of tissue and was sneezing and looked like she had a nasty head-cold. When I asked her about her taking the bus, she said she had convulsions inside the bus coming down. I also had a bike inside the car which took most of the area.

Now a week or so has passed and I'm still thinking about this lady and think maybe I should have let her inside the car or given her $ 40 instead and think this is a case of being girl-starved that even a lady like that would look appealing. (i.e. she was willing to give her contact information so I could collect the $20 back but I refused). I'm just thinking, how girl-starved do you have to be to remember a strange encounter like that a week or so later? Did I actually like that girl and wanted friendship with her or do I just feel sorry for her after the fact and didn't think I did enough at the time (yeah, in the age of hypergamy it's hard to imagine a stranded girl could exist who wants to ride in your car, as there would be ten desperate guys worst then me drooling to give her a ride, right)?
Her man was peeking around the corner, looking at your stupid azz.
Forgive me if I offend you, if you want to give the money is ok, but don't get attached.
 
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Suave88

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Why didn't she ask for money? This wouldn't have made it in the news if she did that. It's the ride part that has me stumped.

But let us assume that she was a prostitute or is open to trading sex for cash if she's in a jam. Unless I get intimate with her how does that change anything else in the equation in terms of my safety. It's still the same principle. A stranded girl needs help to go from point a to point b. Whether she is a prostitute or not doesn't make a difference is she has convulsions on the road.

Also, if a girl occasionally trades sex for cash if she's in a desperate jam, does that really make her a prostitute, or does that make her a girl who is trying to survive in a desperate situation? A prostitute/escort would be actually out to make money.
Listen OP!
She didn't need a ride or you. She asked for money in an indirect way.

This is call disinformation. She approached you and created a situation that doesn't exits. She knows better than you and was never going to ride in your car. She also knows you are a normal person and don't give rides to stranges in fear of being responsible for her.
So what she really wanted was your money.
So you have been scammed.
 

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You dodged a bullet. She could have accused you of kidnap.
 
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Her man was peeking around the corner, looking at your stupid azz.
Forgive me if I offend you, if you want to give the money is ok, but don't get attached.
I stayed back to see what she did after. No other guy came out.
 

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Listen OP!
She didn't need a ride or you. She asked for money in an indirect way.

This is call disinformation. She approached you and created a situation that doesn't exits. She knows better than you and was never going to ride in your car. She also knows you are a normal person and don't give rides to stranges in fear of being responsible for her.
So what she really wanted was your money.
So you have been scammed.
She offered her phone number so I can collect the money back. I refused her number. Perhaps this is the real incel mistake since the number and follow up is low risk and would have created at least a.contact. Refusing a number from a girl because I am nervous after handing her cash is total incel.
 
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GrowingPains

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Despise this sort of semantics.....







And so on.




I think when you give strangers on the internet ultimatums for speaking to them, it goes beyond that into your own ego. Doing what's best for yourself rather than the next guy.

He should not be cold approaching, quite f.ucking clearly not.
Gee wilikers it appears I did tell him to cold approach!

Oh well man I don't remember every word I typed on here. C'mon now..

But the underlying ideas are still the same. He needs to take action. You seem to agree on this. Which he appears to not be doing.

Listen, I'm sorry if the ultimatum offended you. I was trying to expedite us arriving at a conclusion. Certainly you must understand how frustrating it is to try to talk to someone who seems incapable of coming to a reasonable conclusion. Or maybe you are. In which case... Good luck. The thread now belongs to you and OP.
 

Suave88

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She offered her phone number so I can collect the money back. I refused her number. Perhaps this is the real incel mistake since the number and follow up is low risk and would have created at least a.contact. Refusing a number from a girl because I am nervous after handing her cash is total incel.
She was gonna give fake #. Look go back and hang around the area. You will see her doing other guys the same way like you.
 

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She was gonna give fake #. Look go back and hang around the area. You will see her doing other guys the same way like you.
As I said, I already did that. I have not seen this girl since that particular date and normally frequent this area for groceries or to visit the bank. In terms of the specific date, I did see her hang around the parking lot. As another poster pointed out, even if her story 100% adds up, $ 20.00 is still inadequate to pay for any food, any supporting transit cost to a terminal (unless the change is broken) that would have the bus/train that would go to Newmarket, etc.... so I wouldn't really care if she asked other people. If I gave her $ 100.00 or something like that AND she continued asking around, then I'd concede the point. Normally I wouldn't care about being scammed unless it's over $ 50.00 because it's rarely if ever happens.

If she gave a fake #, then I have a smartphone with me and could have tried calling it to see if it rung. Without knowing for certain, if all the suggestion (i.e it was my idea to give her money, and of that, that amount, after all, I could have rolled up my window, reversed, and got out of there, or I could have just gave $ 5.00 or 50 cents, whatever). The number was HER suggestion AFTER I gave her the money. Why would she offer that to me if I never asked for it, and offer it when it was not necessary?

She also came up to my car and made sure we "high-fived" each other before she went. That was not necessary either. These issues are what make the encounter feel somewhat special, like I was dealing with a good/friendly girl. I did not test reality with her so there is no way to say if there was a scam, or if I missed out on a good girl (Not Like All the Other Women/unicorn) who was genuinely stranded.
 
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Suave88

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As I said, I already did that. I have not seen this girl since that particular date and normally frequent this area for groceries or to visit the bank. In terms of the specific date, I did see her hang around the parking lot. As another poster pointed out, even if her story 100% adds up, $ 20.00 is still inadequate to pay for any food, any supporting transit cost to a terminal (unless the change is broken) that would have the bus/train that would go to Newmarket, etc.... so I wouldn't really care if she asked other people. If I gave her $ 100.00 or something like that AND she continued asking around, then I'd concede the point. Normally I wouldn't care about being scammed unless it's over $ 50.00 because it's rarely if ever happens.

If she gave a fake #, then I have a smartphone with me and could have tried calling it to see if it rung. Without knowing for certain, if all the suggestion (i.e it was my idea to give her money, and of that, that amount, after all, I could have rolled up my window, reversed, and got out of there, or I could have just gave $ 5.00 or 50 cents, whatever). The number was HER suggestion AFTER I gave her the money. Why would she offer that to me if I never asked for it, and offer it when it was not necessary?

She also came up to my car and made sure we "high-fived" each other before she went. That was not necessary either. These issues are what make the encounter feel somewhat special, like I was dealing with a good/friendly girl. I did not test reality with her so there is no way to say if there was a scam, or if I missed out on a good girl (Not Like All the Other Women/unicorn) who was genuinely stranded.
It seems that you have not experienced this kind of people before, but they are very common.
The money was not for commuting, but for drugs. She offered you a fake or real number that she was never going to use to reimburse you. Words mean nothing, next time offer a ride and you will see how quick she turns your azz down and walk away.
 

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It seems that you have not experienced this kind of people before, but they are very common.
The money was not for commuting, but for drugs. She offered you a fake or real number that she was never going to use to reimburse you. Words mean nothing, next time offer a ride and you will see how quick she turns your azz down and walk away.
Again, I have to reiterate the facts. I refused to give her a ride, she requested a ride and it was my choice to accept or refuse. I do not understand why she would offer a real or fake number and didn't just walk off once she got the money.

If it were a true druggie then why did she specifically thank Jesus, and why would someone using His name be associated as a drug consumer. Do you know any drug consumers thanking Jesus for a drug fix? Drugs are "devil-stuff", who thanks Jesus for "devil-stuff". I don't thank Jesus for women if I look at hardcore porn or escort pics. That would be absurd.

Even if you are right, she put on quite a song and dance to portray herself as a good Christian lady (i.e. without knowing more about her) as being momentarily stranded. It is odd for someone to go out of their way just to entertain me assuming it was a scam. Most people just make up some excuse and ask for the money and leave you after they get it and are a hurry to get away from you once give them the money.

But in all fairness another memory comes to mind. A weird lady came up to my car near a subway station and asked for money. I only had $ 20.00 denominations in my wallet so I just gave her $ 20.00 to get rid of her because her appearance and manner in which she asked for the money had me a bit nervous. She then asked what I would want her to do for me. I didn't understand the question as I didn't understand what someone of the likes of her could do. Maybe I could have asked her for road-head. However, my experience in such things are two things. First, I can't get hard on such a woman, and second, even if there was a successful road head, suppose I lose my mind and can't drive afterwards or crash my car.

Of course most people reading about this lady would probably have seen if they could have gotten road-head inside the car, whether or not following up with a drive to her location. I have no interest in doing that with these types of women given the reaction I had in 2014. My mind is way too important to allow it to be corrupted like that.
 

Suave88

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Again, I have to reiterate the facts. I refused to give her a ride, she requested a ride and it was my choice to accept or refuse. I do not understand why she would offer a real or fake number and didn't just walk off once she got the money.

If it were a true druggie then why did she specifically thank Jesus, and why would someone using His name be associated as a drug consumer. Do you know any drug consumers thanking Jesus for a drug fix? Drugs are "devil-stuff", who thanks Jesus for "devil-stuff". I don't thank Jesus for women if I look at hardcore porn or escort pics. That would be absurd.

Even if you are right, she put on quite a song and dance to portray herself as a good Christian lady (i.e. without knowing more about her) as being momentarily stranded. It is odd for someone to go out of their way just to entertain me assuming it was a scam. Most people just make up some excuse and ask for the money and leave you after they get it and are a hurry to get away from you once give them the money.

But in all fairness another memory comes to mind. A weird lady came up to my car near a subway station and asked for money. I only had $ 20.00 denominations in my wallet so I just gave her $ 20.00 to get rid of her because her appearance and manner in which she asked for the money had me a bit nervous. She then asked what I would want her to do for me. I didn't understand the question as I didn't understand what someone of the likes of her could do. Maybe I could have asked her for road-head. However, my experience in such things are two things. First, I can't get hard on such a woman, and second, even if there was a successful road head, suppose I lose my mind and can't drive afterwards or crash my car.

Of course most people reading about this lady would probably have seen if they could have gotten road-head inside the car, whether or not following up with a drive to her location. I have no interest in doing that with these types of women given the reaction I had in 2014. My mind is way too important to allow it to be corrupted like that.
Look, you probably like this girl.
Nice girls interested in you don't ask for money under any excuse.
Jesus died a long time ago... Even the NAZIS were Christians.
 

corrector

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Look, you probably like this girl.
Nice girls interested in you don't ask for money under any excuse.
She asked for a ride technically. I offered the money.

Suave88 said:
Jesus died a long time ago... Even the NAZIS were Christians.
That is what the devil would like people to believe. I do not intend to start a religious discussion or finish one as it is against the rules. You may PM me if you wish to continue that bend.
 

Suave88

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She asked for a ride technically. I offered the money.



That is what the devil would like people to believe. I do not intend to start a religious discussion or finish one as it is against the rules. You may PM me if you wish to continue that bend.
She didn't want a ride! That is her story! She wanted you to give her money. So, she asked you in an indirect way..... No rides, no no no!.
Where you in the middle of nowhere, on your way to Alaska, driving thru Yucon Territory? No? Were you at night between the 23:00 and 03:00 in the morning, near an old cementary, were you alone and awake? If you were not in either one of these situations, then, she didn't need a RIDE! She asked you for a ride because she wanted money. Read between the lines.
How do you get from point A to point B if you don't have your personal transportation, you hire the transport by paying for it. Now you know that so you gave her the money, but she didn't want a ride and did not want to hire transportation.

She wanted the money to get high, high, high, high. You know the high song by Sir Sly? Yeah that fvcking high. Now, is that simple?
 
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