STORY/ Advice needed

[Daniel1099]

basically me and this girl dated. broke up cuz parents were to controlling.

now i find out she was seein her ex while we dated...she kissed me, told me she missed me when we broke up... SO WTF.

i found this out today from one of her friends...

i was thinkin about sending her this.

remeber i ASKED her over and over if she was over this fool...they dated for like 2 years, she reassured me over and over...so i was like IGHT fuk it.

EDIT it as you please




i cant believe you.

After all the things you said to me and did for me. I cant believe that you were seeing tyler behind my back, while we were going out. Do you think i wouldnt could care or something or what? People do have feelings just to let you know. I may come off as someone who doesnt really care, but i do have feelings. I cant believe you would actually go that far in leading me on. telling me that you wanted to go to hc with me, you kissed me, you said you missed me. And the whole time you were seeing tyler. I really dont understand how someone normal could go that far in leading someone on like that. You could of just told me while we were going out that their was someone else and that you wanted to move on. I was being the good boyfriend and stayed good to you,I never did anything behind your back. I didnt even have a conversation with a girl that i liked or was interested in. What did i ever do to you that i deserve being treated like that and disrespected like that. I love how you say that YOU wont get close to ME again because i get persuaded to easily...you have no right to say something like that when i have been the one thats been lied to. its more like YOU will never get close to ME again, because i dont want someone in my life that will lie to my face and think they can get away with it. You try and make it seem like YOUR the victim, and I am the one who is choosing the wrong side...
I really thought you changed when we first started talking, but man was i wrong. But its not my place to tell everybody about this and make your life even worse if your mom found out what you have been doing. God will deal with that part.

What goes around comes around.

 

[RayHessel]

I wouldn't send it. Best to get on with your life.

 

[Daniel1099]

yeah i know, but she needs to hear this...

 

[MikeEdward1973]

EDIT it as you please


Cya!

Fixed.

 

[slickaz]

dont be an idiot..
seriously...listen to what the guy said..
she doesnt need to listen to nothin, that will not have the effect you think it is going to have.

let it go, catch a hotter chic, and parade her infront this b!tch. thats what will fix it.
if you see her again, just mention it in passing, that you heard this and you're happy you got in her before you moved on to your next chic..
or tell her, next time, keep your games undercover, like a pro should.

i know this hurts, and its killing you inside, but be a man, she'll only be jumping with joy if she sees this coz her heads going, he still wants me!..
im wanted!! yaaaayy!!!

fvk dat..you a man, you too busy fukn other chics..bounce to the next

 

[Zaraza]

Please dont send her this. This makes you sound very weak and this will only make her think it was a good to see "tyler" behind your back. The thing is ITS OVER and by the looks of it, it has been over. You said she didnt wanna get close because you were pursuaded easily.. that seemed more of an excuse for her to see tyler. Please dont send this, instead focus on yourself.

It hurts to find things like these out. You make it clear that we as men have feelings, but don't spread this feeling to her in writing. It is what many women do. Use this pain to motivate yourself. Work out harder or start working out. Focus on work or school. I dont know what your life is like but find something you can focus on and improve.

It is your decision to send something like this, but believe me your time will come. There will be a time you see her again or talk to her again, whether it be 1 or 2 years from now. Dont send this, let her think you dont know. Then if she ever wants to get back together with you (date,****,or meet up) just decline. People like this are not worth your time.

Ultimately, it is your decision to send this letter and as many guys have done in the past, you will most likely send this letter against everyones advice because it is what YOU FEEL IS RIGHT. You control your life, you can begin reaching for the top now or later. I would recommend now is the time.

 

[lalahaha]

if you send it, you're only giving her satisfaction that she meant alot to you at one point, she will get an ego boost, she won't be sad or angry or whatever and do you want to give her a free ego boost after what she has done to you? do not send it period.

 

[Daniel1099]

yeah i can see where you guys are coming from.

but my situation is a tad differnt from the average guy. me and this girl have been on and off for like 3 years. but this is the first time we started officialy dating...

she just needs to know she cant be doin this kinda **** and it will catch up to her...

so shee needs to hear this.

 

[DonJuan11]

i cant believe you.

After all the things you said to me and did for me. I cant believe that you were seeing tyler behind my back, while we were going out. Do you think i wouldnt could care or something or what? People do have feelings just to let you know. I may come off as someone who doesnt really care, but i do have feelings. I cant believe you would actually go that far in leading me on. telling me that you wanted to go to hc with me, you kissed me, you said you missed me. And the whole time you were seeing tyler. I really dont understand how someone normal could go that far in leading someone on like that. You could of just told me while we were going out that their was someone else and that you wanted to move on. I was being the good boyfriend and stayed good to you,I never did anything behind your back. I didnt even have a conversation with a girl that i liked or was interested in. What did i ever do to you that i deserve being treated like that and disrespected like that. I love how you say that YOU wont get close to ME again because i get persuaded to easily...you have no right to say something like that when i have been the one thats been lied to. its more like YOU will never get close to ME again, because i dont want someone in my life that will lie to my face and think they can get away with it. You try and make it seem like YOUR the victim, and I am the one who is choosing the wrong side...
I really thought you changed when we first started talking, but man was i wrong. But its not my place to tell everybody about this and make your life even worse if your mom found out what you have been doing. God will deal with that part.

What goes around comes around.

God will deal with that part? Are you serious? You are acting like she invaded a country or something. All she did was play the field because you let her.

She doesn't need to hear this. As the other poster said, you are just validating her feelings and opinions about you. Why give her the satisfaction? She's not going to automatically realize she made a mistake and go back with you. You can't fix or change or people, you just have to live your life the best way you know how. If she has half a brain, she knows she did wrong.

I wouldn't waste my time writing anything to her. If your purpose is to get a response, it won't happen. If your purpose is for her to see the light and come back to you, it won't happen. If your purpose is for her to see the light and that's it, it won't happen. Best to move on.

 

[Duffdog]

How about you say:

You didn't really think that I was just some chump guy that was going to wait around while you fvcked someone else did you? Good, I'm glad for that!-- Ill have to introduce you to the totally awesome girl I was nailing behind your back when you thought I was just going to be a doormat for you to walk on.

You are just another mistake I am glad I don't have to live with anymore.

Cheers!

 

[KontrollerX]

yeah i know, but she needs to hear this...

No.

She doesn't.

Women feed off of this sh!t.

The best thing you can do to pay this b!tch back is to go dead silent.

That sends the message to them that they are not worth anything to you not even enough to get you upset and make no mistake about it no matter what kind of message you would send her no matter how you word it she will interpret it as you being upset and emotionally affected by her and she will read that as a win in her book and feel good about it.

Then she'll write you off in her mind as being childish or she may cry a little bit and then come to the pathetic realization that going for the other dude was for the best because you were simply too weak and emotional for her.

Why she would cry you wonder? Because she would think that was so sweet that a guy cared enough about her to send her a letter attempting to tell her off.

Awww how cute her female brain would think.

So don't send anything to her.

Let silence be her only reward from you.

That more than anything drives a woman crazy because any reaction is what they crave since it validates their self worth in their mind and by you giving them no answer whatsoever their sense of self worth is in doubt and their mind will race through a million questions such as why isn't he sending me a message, aren't I good enough, what if he found someone else??? etc.

So don't fvcking send her anything.

I know in your young guy mind you think its the right thing to do to set her straight but trust me you won't teach her anything and you will lose and be a fool if you send her a message.

Don't

fvcking

do

it.

 

[MikeEdward1973]

The best thing you can do to pay this b!tch back is to go dead silent.

He's right. The medium is the message.

If you send anything, it's a sign of weakness, and she'll hang your email up in her head like a hunter would a trophy animal.

 

[Daniel1099]

you guys are right i guess...

but me not saying anything will just make it seem like im still oblivious to whats goin on.

i already talked to her and kinda threw it out their that i wasnt talkin to her because i herd about her and tyler and it made me mad.

then TODAY i found out she was doin this shat while we were dating, which really set me off...

i want SOME kind of closure.

what would you guys say to this whole thing?

 

[Daniel1099]

sh!t kontrollerX. just re-read your post...
yeah man your right...

its just hard goin silent when shes in all my classes to...


and im also curious if she is gonna lie even more about this whole thing, because right now im just going off this from a friend of a friend type of thing.

I DONT WANT HER BACK.

i just wana let her know that she is a *****


and i mentioned God because she is a christian and so am I

*AND*

I DIDNT SEND IT

 

[librito]

whatever you say will not hurt her in any way...you will waste your time with this girl...you want closure? you had it already.... she chose the other guy (the jerk) and that ended your (the good guy) relationship with her. you just want to ven and rant to her how you feel so youll feel better about yourself afterwards......you want payback? then get another hotter girl like the other poster said and parade in from of her while hugging your new girlfriend....
the real thing is that she is probably the hottest girl you've ever had and for that reason you dont have the confidence in yourself to even attempt to get a hotter one cause you think they are out of your league....get used to the idea that women are cheaters too, it is a normal part of life that only the "enlightened" men know about.

 

[rogue_status]

Theyre right man, just go silent. Ignore her. As long as she's not halfway retarded she'l figure it out.

 

[KontrollerX]

"its just hard goin silent when shes in all my classes to..."

Part of being a man is to remain resolute in one's decisions even while under great stress and pressure so consider this all part of your training at becoming a man

Anyway that age old Sosuave advice "the best revenge is living well" tends to come off hollow and phony and all too cliche if a guy never gets the opportunity to show off his great new progress around an ex that screwed him over but in your case you have school with your ex and can get another hotter girl and give her all your attention and live well right in front of your ex's face like she didn't matter.

Now THAT is revenge my friend.

THAT is living well.

Do THAT. :yes:

 

[Daniel1099]

i know you guys say dont take advice from girls...

but i asked her EX-bestfriend if i should send it to her...

and she said yeah it will make her realize how *****y she is. because she did at one point have feelings for me... and i think the whole ex-boyfriend is over exaggerated a little bit, but IDK. the fact is SHE was hanging with him while we were dating...and that is unacceptable.

and she is the hottest girl in the school LOL!


my school has like 200 kids. and the second hottest girl left...and she got jealouse everytime i talked to her...now i dont have her to mack on.

 

[KontrollerX]

"and she said yeah it will make her realize how *****y she is."

Women don't know what they want or what turns them on.

When asked they repeat societal cliches and other such rubbish not in a deliberate effort to mislead a guy but because they mistakenly believe in those cliches themselves and think that they are why they fall in love with this that or the other guy.

To explain it to you better what we guys clearly see as a guy that is an assh0le/pimp/player a woman under that guy's spell defines him as a nice guy.

While men who know how other men think and can discern what other men are doing can see right through that guy to the player that he is.

Likewise women can see when one of their male friends is involved with a female playah. They can see through the phony charms to the predator underneath meanwhile the man is smitten by the apparent goddess in front of him.

Where am I going with all of this?

I'll tell you...

What I am saying is the vast majority of the time the only useful relationship advice a woman will ever give a man is to tell him with accuracy whether the current girl he is dating is truly good for him or not.

And I'm saying a woman that is purely your friend with no designs on making you her future boyfriend with no such jealousy motivations can spot a garbage female in most of their guy friend's lives faster than those foolish guys can as the woman is not blinded by the girl's feminine charms rather she is looking directly at that other female's character.

So remember that is the only useful kind of advice about relationships you can get from the average woman.

Which is why your asking this girl if you should send the message or not yielded a completely worthless answer.

She's answering your question from the perspective of the societal cliche and she could also be so lost in general female ditsiness that she isn't looking at your question from a perspective of whats best for you but rather what she would think she would want in a similar situation.

Now I'm not suggesting your female friend is consciously intending to lead you down the path of failure rather what I am suggesting is she is so lost in her own thoughts and her own delusional wants while answering your question that she gave you the wrong advice to follow.

Infact a more perceptive lad would hear that female friend's answer and say "Aha so it is best not to send a message after all!"

This perceptive lad would keep this realization to himself, it would be a mere thought in his mind after she gave her answer so as to not hurt his female friend's feelings for having so graciously helped him in his hour of need.

These sort of realizations are what happens when you become a student of people or a people watcher as it were.

The better you learn to read people the better and more successful you will be with them.

So for the love of all that is holy...

DO NOT FVCKING SEND YOUR EX ANY GODDAMNED MESSAGES!!!

ENOUGH OF THIS SH!T ALREADY BRO.

ITS THE WRONG ACTION TO FVCKING TAKE.

SO

DON'T

FVCKING

DO

IT

FOR

THE

LAST

FVCKING

TIME :cuss:

Edit: Errr got the first part of my post kind of off with the societal cliches thing so I want to correct it here and say what I meant was that the problem between male and female communication is women translate things differently than us...

To guys the phrase "nice guy" means hardworking, caring, loving, good natured guy.

To women the phrase "nice guy" means drama generating pimp/player type who has an exciting profession and is into all sorts of exciting things and occassionally may lose his temper and fight with others and argue with his women but of course all he needs is a special woman that understands him to finally make him happy. That or he's extremely effeminate as far as other men are concerned like a Justin Timberlake type. Women go nuts over this kind of man and he fits their "nice guy" definition but as far as guys are concerned the phrase "nice guy" doesn't apply to men like Justin Timberlake. Rather I'd suspect you'd see the terms "f@g", "pansy" and "butt pirate" used quite liberally. :crackup:

So anyway see the difference?

Guys see that guy for what he is which means they see him as not a nice guy at all but a player whereas women define this badass assh0le type of guy as a nice guy.

Its all very fvcked up but thats women's internal translation system for you.

And that among other things is why you avoid asking the majority of women relationship advice.

That girl answered you with what she thinks she would want in a similar scenario but in real life if a guy messaged her like you intend to she'd have the same reaction I pointed out in an earlier post of mine which once again would be a reaction that made her feel justified and validated for throwing you away but saddened that she hurt such a nice guy and in this case nice guy takes on its meaning that no guy wants to be viewed by as any woman which is weak. Any girl that gets a message like you intend to send instantly gets turned off and feels validated by having screwed you over.

 

[Daniel1099]

so should i get on wit my life and not say a word?

i want some kind of closure, or else it will just be awkward between her and me.

i still want to be cool with her and stuff. i just want her to know she wont get close to me again.

we have been together for like 3 years, yarrameen?

and that what she did was unacceptable.

and after all this ill start posting pictures of me and other females...

it will get her pretty good...

she still gets jealous when i flirt with other girls at school. so i KNOW she still cares...

girls dont lose feelings just like that