"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

Stop Trying So Hard

Mission

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 3, 2006
Messages
267
Reaction score
12
This is going to be short and sweet.

When I was in highschool I used to spend probably 5 hours a day on the computer. I am now in university and spend maybe 2 hours a day.

Girls are hanging off me. In highschool I actually had to try. My sex life now consists of calling a girl at 9 o'clock, asking her if she wants to come over. Barring midterms the next day they always come over, I get laid and life resumes.

So heres all I have to say, have a life, go get wasted with your pals and laugh and take up sports. You will meet girls, you will do goofy things with girls. Have fun, be merry, life is too short to try so hard.

--Mission
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Delta

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 3, 2005
Messages
724
Reaction score
4
Age
53
Location
glendale, ca
if only that can work for everyone.

to some of us, going out is HARD. hanging out with lots of pals is HARD if you don't have them. and when you're out of school, new friends are pretty hard to come by. actually, the american average on how many friends someone has is "2.5".

and if your friends are not all fun, outgoing, gragarious people, who can party at the hippest clubs... how likely do you think "not trying so hard" is gonna work out for ya?

sometimes, i revert back to "not trying so hard" simply out of a survival instinct... otherwise thoughts of "what the f am i going to do? am i going to end up alone? how is this going to happen for me?" will consume and destroy me.

it's not working out too great for me mate.

delta
 

realsmoothie

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 30, 2006
Messages
1,064
Reaction score
9
I think it really depends on what "trying hard" really means.

The original post sounds great in theory... especially if you are already good looking, have some cash, and a group of friends willing to help out and hang out.

If you're a fat, poor, computer nerd, you better try hard, no?
 

Serialized3

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 17, 2003
Messages
1,148
Reaction score
18
Location
CO
Great advice, college boy :rolleyes:

For us guys who deal with women who arent slutty 18-22 year olds and don't have their brains permanantly suspended in ethanol and ***, getting laid is a bit more of a hassle.

Although having your own life and not giving a flying **** about women really helps.
 

Mission

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 3, 2006
Messages
267
Reaction score
12
You know what, I totally overlooked what delta and realsmoothie brought up.

This post is based on the fact that you have already helped yourself get out of a life of being what realsmoothie describes as a fat computer nerd.

I fully endorse that fact aswell that it isn't necessarily easy to meet friends who are outgoing people. Sometimes you have to take the initiative to start conversations with others.

That said my original post still rings true. If you try too hard when meeting new friends or girls, it comes off in a wierd way. I know because I have met guys who are pretty cool at first, but then they think you are best friends all the sudden and want to hang out all the time. It is really strange.

--Mission
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

GQ_Confidence_1

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2005
Messages
161
Reaction score
7
Delta and others,

I think "not trying so hard" means not trying so hard intellectually, coming up with elaborate methods, plans, tactics, and trying to "Think your way" to success.

-You've got to take care of yourself and care about your life.

-You've got to get out of the house and do things. This afternoon I just went to the bank and to a clothing store. Even doing the most mundane of errands, you're going to have a chance to interact with at least one girl.

-If I was a fat, poor computer nerd (300 lbs, smelly, with glasses, addicted to dungeons and dragons), your #1 priority shouldn't be women, it's #1 and #2, take care of yourself and get out of the house.

Buy home exercise equipment. Find some clothes that you're comfortable with, find some contacts or some cool glasses.

Nobody holds you down or restricts where you go in life. I think alot of guys go through life thinking they are chained to the ground, and yet there is no chain. You create it in your mind after years of inactivity.

There's also alot out people out there in life that are more bored than you are, a little bit of small talk can go a long way. If you're bored out of your mind working retail, are you really going to object to a guy starting a conversation with you? Put yourself in other peoples shoes and you realize, you've got more opportunities than you realize.
 

syemour

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 27, 2003
Messages
247
Reaction score
3
Age
42
Location
Oregon
GQ_Confidence_1 said:
Delta and others,

I think "not trying so hard" means not trying so hard intellectually, coming up with elaborate methods, plans, tactics, and trying to "Think your way" to success.

-You've got to take care of yourself and care about your life.

-You've got to get out of the house and do things. This afternoon I just went to the bank and to a clothing store. Even doing the most mundane of errands, you're going to have a chance to interact with at least one girl.

-If I was a fat, poor computer nerd (300 lbs, smelly, with glasses, addicted to dungeons and dragons), your #1 priority shouldn't be women, it's #1 and #2, take care of yourself and get out of the house.

Buy home exercise equipment. Find some clothes that you're comfortable with, find some contacts or some cool glasses.

Nobody holds you down or restricts where you go in life. I think alot of guys go through life thinking they are chained to the ground, and yet there is no chain. You create it in your mind after years of inactivity.

There's also alot out people out there in life that are more bored than you are, a little bit of small talk can go a long way. If you're bored out of your mind working retail, are you really going to object to a guy starting a conversation with you? Put yourself in other peoples shoes and you realize, you've got more opportunities than you realize.
yes
 
Top