"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Stop Trying So Hard

Mission

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This is going to be short and sweet.

When I was in highschool I used to spend probably 5 hours a day on the computer. I am now in university and spend maybe 2 hours a day.

Girls are hanging off me. In highschool I actually had to try. My sex life now consists of calling a girl at 9 o'clock, asking her if she wants to come over. Barring midterms the next day they always come over, I get laid and life resumes.

So heres all I have to say, have a life, go get wasted with your pals and laugh and take up sports. You will meet girls, you will do goofy things with girls. Have fun, be merry, life is too short to try so hard.

--Mission
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Delta

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if only that can work for everyone.

to some of us, going out is HARD. hanging out with lots of pals is HARD if you don't have them. and when you're out of school, new friends are pretty hard to come by. actually, the american average on how many friends someone has is "2.5".

and if your friends are not all fun, outgoing, gragarious people, who can party at the hippest clubs... how likely do you think "not trying so hard" is gonna work out for ya?

sometimes, i revert back to "not trying so hard" simply out of a survival instinct... otherwise thoughts of "what the f am i going to do? am i going to end up alone? how is this going to happen for me?" will consume and destroy me.

it's not working out too great for me mate.

delta
 

realsmoothie

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I think it really depends on what "trying hard" really means.

The original post sounds great in theory... especially if you are already good looking, have some cash, and a group of friends willing to help out and hang out.

If you're a fat, poor, computer nerd, you better try hard, no?
 

Serialized3

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Great advice, college boy :rolleyes:

For us guys who deal with women who arent slutty 18-22 year olds and don't have their brains permanantly suspended in ethanol and ***, getting laid is a bit more of a hassle.

Although having your own life and not giving a flying **** about women really helps.
 

Mission

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You know what, I totally overlooked what delta and realsmoothie brought up.

This post is based on the fact that you have already helped yourself get out of a life of being what realsmoothie describes as a fat computer nerd.

I fully endorse that fact aswell that it isn't necessarily easy to meet friends who are outgoing people. Sometimes you have to take the initiative to start conversations with others.

That said my original post still rings true. If you try too hard when meeting new friends or girls, it comes off in a wierd way. I know because I have met guys who are pretty cool at first, but then they think you are best friends all the sudden and want to hang out all the time. It is really strange.

--Mission
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

GQ_Confidence_1

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Delta and others,

I think "not trying so hard" means not trying so hard intellectually, coming up with elaborate methods, plans, tactics, and trying to "Think your way" to success.

-You've got to take care of yourself and care about your life.

-You've got to get out of the house and do things. This afternoon I just went to the bank and to a clothing store. Even doing the most mundane of errands, you're going to have a chance to interact with at least one girl.

-If I was a fat, poor computer nerd (300 lbs, smelly, with glasses, addicted to dungeons and dragons), your #1 priority shouldn't be women, it's #1 and #2, take care of yourself and get out of the house.

Buy home exercise equipment. Find some clothes that you're comfortable with, find some contacts or some cool glasses.

Nobody holds you down or restricts where you go in life. I think alot of guys go through life thinking they are chained to the ground, and yet there is no chain. You create it in your mind after years of inactivity.

There's also alot out people out there in life that are more bored than you are, a little bit of small talk can go a long way. If you're bored out of your mind working retail, are you really going to object to a guy starting a conversation with you? Put yourself in other peoples shoes and you realize, you've got more opportunities than you realize.
 

syemour

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GQ_Confidence_1 said:
Delta and others,

I think "not trying so hard" means not trying so hard intellectually, coming up with elaborate methods, plans, tactics, and trying to "Think your way" to success.

-You've got to take care of yourself and care about your life.

-You've got to get out of the house and do things. This afternoon I just went to the bank and to a clothing store. Even doing the most mundane of errands, you're going to have a chance to interact with at least one girl.

-If I was a fat, poor computer nerd (300 lbs, smelly, with glasses, addicted to dungeons and dragons), your #1 priority shouldn't be women, it's #1 and #2, take care of yourself and get out of the house.

Buy home exercise equipment. Find some clothes that you're comfortable with, find some contacts or some cool glasses.

Nobody holds you down or restricts where you go in life. I think alot of guys go through life thinking they are chained to the ground, and yet there is no chain. You create it in your mind after years of inactivity.

There's also alot out people out there in life that are more bored than you are, a little bit of small talk can go a long way. If you're bored out of your mind working retail, are you really going to object to a guy starting a conversation with you? Put yourself in other peoples shoes and you realize, you've got more opportunities than you realize.
yes
 
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