Stop Fearing Rejection

[NickAdams713]

I've been reading a lot of these posts, and it seems like a common theme is dudes and wanna be players are missing out on opportunities because they're afraid of hearing the word "no" from a girl.

I made this comment to a recent post, but I thought it deserved its own thread, so here it is:

Guys often come here asking for help, but it usually seems that they're just looking to vent or get affirmation.

You can only help someone who wants to be helped.

There are so many guys on here with these long stories and problems that have very simple solutions (like, don't just stand here, bust a move), but when given the advice, they balk. "Oh I need to see her in a group setting." Or it's, "oh, I really cannot ask her out because her roommate is suicidal." Etc. These people are just making excuses for their behavior because they want everything easy. They don't want to risk rejection. They're afraid.

What they cannot see, since they have blinders on, is that that fear of leaving their comfort zone is precisely what's holding them back. Rejection isn't the end of the world. All of us who are schooled to the game, and even those it comes natural to, understand that rejection is just part of it all. Here's a little secret for you "scared of rejection" dudes. When you ask a girl out and you make her reject you, she actually has MORE respect for you after she rejects you. Women respect boldness and confidence--even when they're ultimately NOT interested, they end being more (even if it is slightly) interested than they were before if you ask them out in a suave "devil may care" way.

And when you get rejected, (and if you wanna be a playa, you will) don't act like it hurt your feelings. Simply smile at her and say "cannot blame me for trying, can ya?" And then move on to the next one.

I once told a woman, point blank, that she and I "should have sex". She politely turned me down, but we remained friendly. About a year later she brought it up again and told me that she really respected me for being so upfront with her when we initially met. (She still didn't want to have sex though. Again, cannot win them all.)

Stop living in fear. Stop wishing everything was easy and handed to you on a silver platter. Stop caring. You will be amazed at how easy this stuff gets.

 

[skinnyguy]

Yes but here is the caveat. Rejection is much easier to deal with when you have abundance. I got blown out at the bar last night but didn't give a fvck cause I'm dating three different women this week. If I were lonely I'd probably get depressed from rejection.

You're right that it's surprising how easy it gets. If you're in the social zone, opportunities come out of no where. You don't plan for it at all and before you know it you're banging multiple women. Overthinking it is bad. Just see what happens and have fun with your social group in the process.

 

[Glassguy]

Abundance can be a cure all for most women problems. The issue is the guys that have oneitis, asking for advice for every text and move they make, etc, are putting way to much focus and effort on one chick.

You will never have abundance with that mentality. Ever.

Abundance is the result of going after what you want, not sitting back and hoping that it falls in your lap.

Abundance comes from striking up conversations with women, knowing they could roll their eyes at you and shut you down. You could be put in the friend zone. They could make it clear they have a bf. The list of negative things goes on and on.

The guys that do very well with women dont worry about that. They go for the kill. They look over the possible negative reactions because they are only searching for the positive ones.

Rejection has no sting if you have 2, 3 or more other women already available. Most guys will never get there because they care too much about one chick who strings them along. Thus the redundant threads about what to do with over that same chick.

 

[wifehunter]

Yeah, be happy she rejected you, she was probably garbage.

 

[guru1000]

But what differentiates me is I'm willing to keep going DESPITE rejection, flaking, etc.

Which is the material distinction between average and greatness.

 

[Trump]

Here's a little secret for you "scared of rejection" dudes. When you ask a girl out and you make her reject you, she actually has MORE respect for you after she rejects you.

Who wants respect from a woman? The man should ask to have sex with her or tell her to get lost.

More respect after rejection? Come on bro.

You: "Would you like to watch a movie at my place?
Her: "No."
Her: "Hey Sharon, see that guy who just asked me out. I so much respect for him!"

You are rationalizing to make yourself feel better.

And when you get rejected, (and if you wanna be a playa, you will) don't act like it hurt your feelings. Simply smile at her and say "cannot blame me for trying, can ya?"

Then she'll say "Yes I can. You have to get education, height, money, and status before asking a girl like me out."

I once told a woman, point blank, that she and I "should have sex". She politely turned me down, but we remained friendly. About a year later she brought it up again and told me that she really respected me for being so upfront with her when we initially met. (She still didn't want to have sex though. Again, cannot win them all.)

Lol. Oh man bro. I'd rather she NOT respect you and you had the sex.

Men, remember, you want to attain physical monetary things. Not feelings of "goodness."

Stop living in fear. Stop wishing everything was easy and handed to you on a silver platter. Stop caring. You will be amazed at how easy this stuff gets.

Easier than eating than apple pie.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Abundance can be a cure all for most women problems.

Abundance has to be created. It doesn't fall out of the sky. Start slow and build up. No other way.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

And, to go one step further, it's not actually rejection that people fear. It's the feelings of loneliness and insignificance after being rejected that people fear.

Eliminate those, there's no problem.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Its not rejection itself the problem, but the surroinding and the conseguences.

You cold approach a girl on the street and she rejects you no big deal.

You approach a girl at a club and she rejects you? all the other girls who saw it will do the same

You make an attempt in your social circle and she rejects you? she will be bragging about it, patronizing and you will be the rejected guy...but dont worry she will tell you that you are cool and you will find a girl in future just do add a soft mocking.

You see no one gives a fvck about a piece of meat that is not gonna give her meat, the problem are the conseguences.

 

[NickAdams713]

Yeah, be happy she rejected you, she was probably garbage.

Definitely not saying that we should be happy about being rejected. But it's not the end of the word.

 

[NickAdams713]

Who wants respect from a woman? The man should ask to have sex with her or tell her to get lost.

More respect after rejection? Come on bro.

You: "Would you like to watch a movie at my place?
Her: "No."
Her: "Hey Sharon, see that guy who just asked me out. I so much respect for him!"

You are rationalizing to make yourself feel better.



Then she'll say "Yes I can. You have to get education, height, money, and status before asking a girl like me out."



Lol. Oh man bro. I'd rather she NOT respect you and you had the sex.

Men, remember, you want to attain physical monetary things. Not feelings of "goodness."



Easier than eating than apple pie.

I've never once had a woman reject me mean spiritedly like that. I guess you figure guys should just not ask girls out due to their fear of rejection?

 

[bigneil]

Abundance has to be created. It doesn't fall out of the sky. Start slow and build up. No other way.

Yes, like starting a 20-year old hooker photo studio.

 

[NickAdams713]

Its not rejection itself the problem, but the surroinding and the conseguences.

You cold approach a girl on the street and she rejects you no big deal.

You approach a girl at a club and she rejects you? all the other girls who saw it will do the same

You make an attempt in your social circle and she rejects you? she will be bragging about it, patronizing and you will be the rejected guy...but dont worry she will tell you that you are cool and you will find a girl in future just do add a soft mocking.

You see no one gives a fvck about a piece of meat that is not gonna give her meat, the problem are the conseguences.

Yeah, good point. Better off to not even bother trying. Better to spend hours analyzing text messages and waiting to hang out in a group setting.

All kidding aside, remember, the easy way is the hard way. The hard way is the easy way. Sorry to have to get all Zen on you.

 

[wifehunter]

Definitely not saying that we should be happy about being rejected. But it's not the end of the word.

Once you know the prison that is a relationship with an npd/bpd self worshiper. You'll shouting freedom like braveheart!

Its sweet!!!

AND sour.

 

[Who Dares Win]

I've never once had a woman reject me mean spiritedly like that. I guess you figure guys should just not ask girls out due to their fear of rejection?

do you usually fail to understand what you read or today its a special day?

Im amazed at how some people is unable to understand such basic concepts yet not totally fulfilled from such fail feels the need to patronize.

The concept is not that rejection is a problem, the concept is that rejection has conseguences (or lack of) according to the setting you find yourself in.

Let me use an even obvious example Mike tries to pick up Kelly outside the club and she rejects him, Mike tries to pick up Kelly in the middle of a party full of other girls where she rejects him in front of everyone.

Do you believe Mike's problem is just being rejected in both scenarios with no difference at all?

 

[NickAdams713]

When I saw this thread today i decided to finally approach a girl after months without even talking to even one.

Let's just say I won't be doing that any time soon, it was awkward and pittyful as fvck.

When I got back into running, I couldn't do a mile without being winded. Fortunately, I didn't give up at the first sign of resistance. Instead, I worked hard and got better at it.

 

[NickAdams713]

do you usually fail to understand what you read or today its a special day?

Im amazed at how some people is unable to understand such basic concepts yet not totally fulfilled from such fail feels the need to patronize.

The concept is not that rejection is a problem, the concept is that rejection has conseguences (or lack of) according to the setting you find yourself in.

Let me use an even obvious example Mike tries to pick up Kelly outside the club and she rejects him, Mike tries to pick up Kelly in the middle of a party full of other girls where she rejects him in front of everyone.

Do you believe Mike's problem is just being rejected in both scenarios with no difference at all?

Who Dares Win,

I think you need to approach this stuff with a sense of detachment, outcome independence, and frame control. If you care what people think, you're not going to reach your full potential as a player because you're not going to be able to utilize those concepts.

When you mack on a girl, are you really concerned about what the other people surrounding you are thinking? Like, who really cares?

What are these consequences you're referring to, if someone sees you get rejected?

I'll leave you with a quote from Michael Jordan.

"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."

 

[Who Dares Win]

Who Dares Win,

I think you need to approach this stuff with a sense of detachment, outcome independence, and frame control. If you care what people think, you're not going to reach your full potential as a player because you're not going to be able to utilize those concepts.

When you mack on a girl, are you really concerned about what the other people surrounding you are thinking? Like, who really cares?

What are these consequences you're referring to, if someone sees you get rejected?

I'll leave you with a quote from Michael Jordan.

"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."

Apparently you dont work in a field where reputation is worth as much as your proper value if not more, fine by that good for you.
Wish I could live as you do.
Example: in my case I would have very few credit if I were to talk by standard line and clichès as if I was some kind of stereotype...for other people works.

 

[RedZone]

could always play the rejection game. You go someplace with a friend and the person who gets rejected the most wins!

Personally, you just need to have goals that aren't crazy. If mine is I'm going to a bar to get laid and I dont accomplish that I'll feel like a loser. On other hand, if your goal is to say hey to every girl you think is attractive you win no matter what the outcome may be.

 

[Von]

I'm not giving up, never will.
However I'm clearly not ready to be talking to girls without learning to detach myself from the outcome.
I'm training my mind daily to go up to a girl with nothing but wanting to simply talk, with confidence.

How can you learn to detach yourself from the outcome, if you ain't talking to them

The first step is always the hardest
Happiness is work
Abundance is work

The more you invest and work it... the more it work and intelligently... the easier the system go.

I am a greedy... so I played a game with a PUA friend... I owe him 20$ for every girls he pointed that I didnt have the guts to talk to.... oh and he was the one choosing my pickup line.... such as: ''reject me the hardest way you can''

After a while you feel nothing... when you feel nothing suddenly your succes rate improve

Seduction is sales... in sales, you need to make the first step, you need to control your ''greedyness'' cause the prospect feel you are ''greedy (or for the quick money)'' he will back away.... than you notice is those who don't care about the money that make the most

Like Warren Buffet said : ''I never cared about my first million, I never cared about the money, cause I was going to be rich and i knew it... was just surprised how fast it came''.

I've posted about my failure here... and even a oneitis... funny when I knew I had another girl line up or 2... didn't care about losing the girl... but when I had only 1 girl.. oneitis

Actually, I dont consider losing a girl important... I see it has ''saving'' time

Amazing thread and post GlassGuy