Alright, I’m gonna have somewhat of a long response here since I’m gonna be picking at some others’ posts like I always do....
You’re on the money here. It’s not so much any one of these alone as it is a combination of all of these.
1) Absolutely. It comes with all of those movies where the hero gets the girl in the end or where the dorky loser gets with the hot cheerleader; all of these combined tell men on a subliminal level to “fight” for women (superhero movies/shows) and to pander to them in the hopes that “she’ll eventually see just how much you love her and love you back” or some **** (romcoms/standard Hollywood films). This is disseminated propaganda that cripples society because it turns men into simps and wimps and turns women into belligerent thotties, especially when paired up with the already-existing favoritism towards women in general. It’s also not just this entertainment media that does this, but rather media as a whole. And so it influences the population to think a certain way, act a certain way, be a certain way, etc. until eventually our entire culture is what they programmed it to be.
2) Yes, I personally do think that I myself can be, but she’s need to be “the one” lol so take that as you will. I just can’t see myself doing monogamy for long term unless the woman is literally beyond perfect in every way possible simply because I’ve just gotten self-aware enough to realize that I won’t take **** from a woman, especially not a spouse/partner. That alone will cause me to end the relationship and kick her to the curb if she does something wrong (which, as we all know, they will). I’m also not willing to compromise on looks at all of it means she’ll be sweeter, because if she’s a sweet girl who is ugly, then that means she’s only sweet because she doesn’t have her looks to play off of—NOT because she’s actually a warm-hearted person inside. And if she somehow actually is, then I’d still be dissatisfied with her BECAUSE of her looks, which would cause me to cheat. It’s not so much that I ‘need variety’ as much as it is these women are just subpar for my liking. And the thing is, this was always the case with me; it’s just that coming here gave me the balls to finally be a man and not look at women as anything more than they are.
3) 100%. EVERY man to some degree (provided there isn’t some anomaly going on) will desire another woman to some extent. How strongly they feel it, however, is dependent upon the man himself and his experiences, etc. Some men actually believe that they aren’t attracted to any woman when in a relationship and only desire their one woman, as we’ve seen above. However, these people have simply had their instincts suppressed and programmed out of them under the guise of “growing up” and “not being immature anymore” lol. But if they were to really get back to their roots of who and what they really are inside, instead of the monotonous android that life and this society has socialized them into, they’d find that yeah, they definitely could get with a whole lot of women lol
As for people in your situation—yes there are also some men who simply cannot help it and need variety. However, the men in THIS category often suffer from seeing women as more than they are. What I mean by that is, you start to see your woman as being ‘bland’ after a while because she was never really all that to begin with, but just
appeared so. When you first see a girl, you view her as being that way naturally (“that way” meaning how she looks, how she talks, acts, etc.). But over time, you see that she isn’t
really like that, she just made herself look LIKE that. Instead of seeing a girl with a pretty face, you see a girl who had her eyebrows done and out on some makeup. Instead of seeing a girl with nice curves, you see a girl who starved herself for a day and a half who is wearing high-waisted jeans that are extra tight around the waist and looser-fitting around the hips. Instead of seeing a chick with a nice ass, you see a girl with tight hip flexors (giving her anterior pelvic tilt) whilst wearing yogas that look like
these so that her ass appears to pop out more than it really does lol. So after a while, your chick starts to look a little bland, especially after you’ve seen her naked. In other words, the novelty has worn off—on this particular woman anyway (the same novelty wears off on women as a whole once men have sex for the first time, hence why nonvirgins tend to be more chill and laid back than virgins). Just because she’s ****able doesn’t mean that’s what you really want inside. But here’s the thing, if you had a chick who was so stupidly sexy that she made all other women look ugly in comparison, most men wouldn’t feel that need for ‘variety’ anymore (provided she wasn’t being a ***** either).
There still are some men who would though. These other men are like this (imo) because of the hypersexualization of society making them want/need sex in general more than they actually do, and also because of the instant gratification hit where once you try it i.e. variety, you can’t get enough of it. I think the latter one stems from the “thrill”, so to speak, and also from trying to find the “best” woman out of all of them but then trying them all anyway just because. Kinda like how if you had to pick to bring home your favorite food dish out of an array of dishes, but then were suddenly allowed to take them all home, you’d probably take them all. But now that you’ve had them all, you realize you don’t just want the one dish now, now you may want multiple RIP. You either never should have been exposed to it in the first place, or you’ll just have to control yourself. Life isn’t all about sex, so desexualizing this hypersexual culture (or at the very least take yourself out of explicitly sexual situations i.e. bars and clubs and put yourself in more wholesome environments) will help a bit.
Also, you do have to remember that your one relationship from 2010 messed you up like you said and that you’ve never been the same since. That can have an affect on you where you never really feel fulfilled in relationships and all on subconscious level RIP. I wouldn’t chalk it up to “forever seeking external validation of their virility through conquest and use refusal of monogamy as a defense mechanism” as BE puts it, that’s overly-simplistic and quit frankly childish and rudimentary in thinking. People usually make statements like these when they’ve been programmed by society into thinking that a man who doesn’t want to settle down is just engaging in “toxic masculinity” or has “fragile masculinity”; just another bull**** way for society to control men by shaming us for being simply being men.
Also, I don’t remember who said it but someone before said that 90% of the people who cheat are men and I’m just like that’s so blatantly false it makes my head spin. Women cheat more lol especially younger chicks. The reason why guys complain about women cheating is because when a guy cheats, it’s usually because the woman sucks lol but he still loves her and doesn’t want to hurt her, whereas when a woman cheats, it’s because she’s saying “you’re not good enough for me”. That’s why so many women have a greatly overestimated perceived sense of value nowadays lmao
It’s not that women need to fear losing you in order to be attracted to you so much as it is women simply conforming to others around them; if others find you attractive, you therefore
are attractive (even if you aren’t). If others find you unattractive, you therefore are NOT attractive (even if you are). Dread game only works because bitches feel jealousy like you wouldn’t believe. Men will kill over it, but women will destroy the lives of themselves and everyone else around them just to spite someone.
Also, you being “safely secured” isn’t what turns her off, rather it’s her taking you for granted. And that’s more so a problem with her as a
person rather than her as a
woman; it’s just that because she’s a woman people will treat her differently to where she can take things/people for granted more readily than others (i.e. men).
I know I’m splitting hairs here but it’s important to note the nuances if you wanna take it to the next level.
