"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Still having trouble maintaining good conversations

Matt281

Don Juan
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It's weird, I have no trouble meeting people or making friends, or even generally talking to people, but as far as keeping a conversation interesting enough to keep a girl's attention for more than a minute or two, I still struggle. Sure, if they give me something to work with like an unusual or playful repsonse, I can work with it, but if they just give the usual mundane responses, I always feel like I can't take the conversation anywhere fun or interesting.

Being well-known and well-liked around college along with having pretty good looks seems to help a lot, but it really doesn't seem to be enough if I struggle to hold a good conversation, make girls laugh (when they don't give me anything to work with) and so on.

I've taken the advice to talk to everyone in hopes to become more charismatic in general, and it seems to be helping a little, but it's still really hard for me to find fun and interesting things to talk about in everyday situations, and to transition from a "hi, how are you" interaction to those kinds of things.

Any thoughts?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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loving

Senior Don Juan
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Oct 8, 2008
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Follow your bliss
Ask them questions about what they like.. Remember something they said earlier.. Be sexual.. Play games..There's so much you can do with girls..
 

steve_erkle

Don Juan
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Aug 9, 2008
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bro, i've found the best thing to do is not take anything too seriously. im a funny, random guy so even if i don't know ther person i'm talking to i'll say random ****, sometimes they love it, sometimes they go "what the **** is he talking about"...

when i really try to have a normal conversation and keep it serious and follow the rules "first ask xxx, wait for response, hold e.c and give kino. then bla bla blah..." i get bored. just do whatever feels natural man..

basically, just be yourself and don't care if they accept you or not.
 

Smartone84

Senior Don Juan
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Dec 24, 2006
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Sometimes, in the beginning at least, i have a similar problem, but maybe thats just the way it is in general if you still dont know the person that well. I for one also am very friendly and can go on and on when it comes to talking.

I would say that if you're on the 4th or 5th date and you are still having silence during convos with the girl, then its probably not a good sign. 1st or 2nd date, or even 3rd, its almost expected, unless you are a master when it comes to convo with anyone.
 
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