"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

*Still* exhibiting AFC traits - a kind of FR

mtnkng

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 28, 2008
Messages
51
Reaction score
4
Location
Midwest
So...pulled my profile from the online dating sites. Got a coupla first dates...one possible plate, possibly another, but she's on hold as a flake.

Got interest from several women met in the field, mostly older ladies that are HB7 or higher....

The dreaded "You are so cute." and "You are adorable" - Maybe something to build on.

Had a date last nite with an online. Exhanged several emails and about 2 hours logged time on the phone prior to first date.
Met at a restaurant. Cute. Liked her looks, big rump. Lots of IOIs. High IL. Proceeded to walk to theater to catch whatever move was playing. Kiss closed in the parking lot there. Lots of mackin and groping in the theater (probably saw maybe 25 minutes of Incredible Hulk). Spent another hour making out and groping by her car after the movie. Totally wanted f-close me, but she doesnt on first dates - Im definitely ok with this.

Day after (today) - The AFC returns. Too much damn texting while at work (she's a teacher, single mom, off for the summer, kids are away for the week with dad/ex). Hour long convo on the phone - set up date - dinner and live music tomorrow nite with possiblity of landing at my house. Then, figured there's a band I really wanna catch on Sunday - bought the tix and we're going to that.

I basically
A) returned way too much on interest
B) talked/texted too much
C) Setup rapid fire dates, one after another for the weekend.

Too bad....I actually dig this one. But, I think I can still recover as long as her interest remains high. And I know I risk that with these rapid fire dates.

So....what Im thinkin....I gotta pull back as much as possible between these dates - little or no contact.

The good thing is....I think I got a little game going on during the date. Spontaneous, fun, engaging....and apparently "cute". Perhaps enough masculinity and sexuality is lurking to retain some interest. Maybe Im a "sleeper" - the cute/adorable guy who does well physically (repeat positive critiques on mackin).

The bad thing is....lettin pvssy get my emotions going. I am leading and dominating....but Im not keepin the emotions in check and losing the power....

At the very least, I wanna keep this one around long enough to keep improving and testing these skills. IF they don't improve, it'll end and I lose a proving ground. So....I'll get the other two potential plates up and running and keep working the field (where I seem to have more success than online).

Go easy on me....this is the first active week post divorce AND the rebound BPD relationship (now post 3 mos). Still lots of sh!t to unlearn and learn.

(oh and one other hitch - the date last nite; more than likely the teacher of the exBPDs daughter. Im keepin an eye on this.)
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Nelford

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 22, 2006
Messages
141
Reaction score
4
Location
Choclate City Washington DC
Funny I am going through the same thing and when I realized it I pulled back. The girl was too cool and brought on good conversations. I mean she was texting all day and calling to talk all night. Good thing she went away on vacation for 5 days now I can set back and get myself together. Good things I got some girls coming in from out of state, now I can play with them for a week.
 

evelsteve

Don Juan
Joined
May 17, 2007
Messages
41
Reaction score
4
Location
Portland,OR
If you're active enough, and remain active, she has to understand. Just don't turn into her little brother.
 
Top