"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

Stigmas and shame

mrRuckus

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 14, 2005
Messages
4,382
Reaction score
85
Does anyone have any shame anymore?

The last two "women" I went out with:


Girl 1. Tells me stories about how she was making out in the back seat of the car when her ex was driving up front and he "didn't notice." They end up back together. She also tells me she's not over him yet and she moved here to live with her aunt because she had no where else to go because she had been living with his parents.

Girl 2. On our second date, she tells me she is bipolar but "the good kind:" Type 2 if i remember right. She is neutral or depressed... no mania. Haha, that's actually kind of lame. I might prefer neutral and mania :p She also apparently has chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia. "i'm not on my meds anymore. I'm handling it well without them."

I mean, it's nice of them to inform me that I should run away, but didn't people use to hide their psychoses? Now it's like they're proud of them. If i were on zoloft or something I wouldn't go around making it common knowledge to every date I had.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Sinistar

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 15, 2005
Messages
550
Reaction score
31
mrRuckus said:
Does anyone have any shame anymore?

The last two "women" I went out with:


Girl 1. Tells me stories about how she was making out in the back seat of the car when her ex was driving up front and he "didn't notice." They end up back together. She also tells me she's not over him yet and she moved here to live with her aunt because she had no where else to go because she had been living with his parents.

Girl 2. On our second date, she tells me she is bipolar but "the good kind:" Type 2 if i remember right. She is neutral or depressed... no mania. Haha, that's actually kind of lame. I might prefer neutral and mania :p She also apparently has chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia. "i'm not on my meds anymore. I'm handling it well without them."

I mean, it's nice of them to inform me that I should run away, but didn't people use to hide their psychoses? Now it's like they're proud of them. If i were on zoloft or something I wouldn't go around making it common knowledge to every date I had.
Whacked, broken, disordered people play with entirely different rules than we do. Their version of shame (or being ashamed) if probably so different from yours and mine that it would blow your mind.

The best part about being more mature and aware is that we can spot these warning signs so much better than when we were young and plugged in. Just think how many chumps would actually believe Girl #2 regarding her being "the good kind" and doing well off the medications.

You are also dealing with the first true generation of low respect entitled people. Brought up under feminism, AFC dads (or no dads) and little or no accountability. What the 'f do they care if they are disrespectful? They are told it's okay to barf out their feelings and problems. The expect everyone around them to "support" them or take care of their problems or come to their level.

The good news is that there are decent people (and women) out there. You just have to run more numbers (and drop way more plates) to find the type you are expecting to find.
 

Rollo Tomassi

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 4, 2004
Messages
5,307
Reaction score
343
Age
58
Location
Nevada
"I know she's got problems, but I really think she's the ONE."

Sorry, couldn't resist,..
 

jophil28

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 18, 2006
Messages
5,216
Reaction score
278
Location
Gold Coast. Aust.
Rollo Tomassi said:
"I know she's got problems, but I really think she's the ONE."

Sorry, couldn't resist,..
There you go ridiculing the desire for 'the ONE' - his 'Soulmate'.
Look, you may believe that waiting for "the One "is as stupid as waiting for BigFoot to walk down your street but I am here to tell you that "soulmates" really do exist. IT is NO myth.
How can I be so sure?
Because in the past 30 years I have had 25 of them ! ;)
 

Unbridled_Phoenix

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 22, 2009
Messages
677
Reaction score
25
Rollo Tomassi said:
"I know she's got problems, but I really think she's the ONE."

Sorry, couldn't resist,..
Man, that was me during my serious live-in LTR in college. And she was a Type 2 to boot!

Looking back really puts things in perspective.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

WaterTiger

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 3, 2003
Messages
1,717
Reaction score
35
Location
Wine Country, Ca
No, people have NO SHAME what so ever. Last month I sat at dinner for an hour listening to a guy tell me of his divorce, his "crazy evil" wife who "blew things out of proportion" and left him over the fact that he got HER sister pregnant...

....oh yeah...he's a keeper!
 

ThunderMaverick

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 19, 2004
Messages
1,945
Reaction score
70
Age
45
WaterTiger said:
No, people have NO SHAME what so ever. Last month I sat at dinner for an hour listening to a guy tell me of his divorce, his "crazy evil" wife who "blew things out of proportion" and left him over the fact that he got HER sister pregnant...

....oh yeah...he's a keeper!
Oh, God! You're being too hard on the guy. He could have fu<ked anyone in the world, but he kept it close and tight knit with the family. I mean I'm sure he knows where the sister's been and I'm sure the wife knew it too. Safest way to stray.

Nothing more important than family.:rock:
 

Unbridled_Phoenix

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 22, 2009
Messages
677
Reaction score
25
Why should people have any shame if they have no accountability?

It's 2009 man, get with the times:cool:

True as that has been, one benefit I see from the recession is a rebirth of accountability. Savings rates are high, and frivolous spending is down.

The tide is turning...
 

Radharc

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 14, 2005
Messages
235
Reaction score
5
It's like ppl think they can market themselves as something "special" and worthy of attention if they announce to the world how ****ed up they are. I've known a few where they actually build their whole identity around the fact that they're bipolar, or addicted to something, or whatever. Just handy sources of drama and stimulus for them=attention.

And the lack of accountability of women these days really is scary. Reminded me of this line from Jack Nicholson's character in As Good as it Gets, he's a writer and this woman asks him how he can write so well about women, and he answers: "I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability."

On the other hand these women are probably doing us a favour by announcing how screwed they are before we get too close. :)
 

Warrior74

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 25, 2008
Messages
5,106
Reaction score
230
LOL. Gotta love it. Either they hide the crazy and try to play you for a chump, or the broadcast it and wonder why you don't love them for it.

I was chatting up this one chic on line..she was coming to visit from out of state. She tells me how she's bipolar, was abused as a child, believes in having casual sex with her male friends, has no job, went to some expensive upstate college and dropped out and is living with her ex boyfriend. Then she wonders why I don't get on chat with her anymore. Really? Wow.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Jitterbug

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 12, 2008
Messages
3,197
Reaction score
140
It's cultural. Dysfunctional is cool - that's every TV show, and reality TV gives the rest a chance to show the world how much of a degenerate they can be on camera.
 

speed dawg

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 9, 2006
Messages
4,735
Reaction score
1,223
Location
The Dirty South
Jitterbug said:
It's cultural. Dysfunctional is cool - that's every TV show, and reality TV gives the rest a chance to show the world how much of a degenerate they can be on camera.
Man you're right on. It's like people aren't wanting to better themselves any more, they want to dumb down to the other idiots around them to achieve some street cred or to avoid selling out or something. I don't get it. Makes it easier for me I guess, or at least that's the positive way to look at it.
 
Top