Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Stigmas and shame

mrRuckus

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Does anyone have any shame anymore?

The last two "women" I went out with:


Girl 1. Tells me stories about how she was making out in the back seat of the car when her ex was driving up front and he "didn't notice." They end up back together. She also tells me she's not over him yet and she moved here to live with her aunt because she had no where else to go because she had been living with his parents.

Girl 2. On our second date, she tells me she is bipolar but "the good kind:" Type 2 if i remember right. She is neutral or depressed... no mania. Haha, that's actually kind of lame. I might prefer neutral and mania :p She also apparently has chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia. "i'm not on my meds anymore. I'm handling it well without them."

I mean, it's nice of them to inform me that I should run away, but didn't people use to hide their psychoses? Now it's like they're proud of them. If i were on zoloft or something I wouldn't go around making it common knowledge to every date I had.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Sinistar

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mrRuckus said:
Does anyone have any shame anymore?

The last two "women" I went out with:


Girl 1. Tells me stories about how she was making out in the back seat of the car when her ex was driving up front and he "didn't notice." They end up back together. She also tells me she's not over him yet and she moved here to live with her aunt because she had no where else to go because she had been living with his parents.

Girl 2. On our second date, she tells me she is bipolar but "the good kind:" Type 2 if i remember right. She is neutral or depressed... no mania. Haha, that's actually kind of lame. I might prefer neutral and mania :p She also apparently has chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia. "i'm not on my meds anymore. I'm handling it well without them."

I mean, it's nice of them to inform me that I should run away, but didn't people use to hide their psychoses? Now it's like they're proud of them. If i were on zoloft or something I wouldn't go around making it common knowledge to every date I had.
Whacked, broken, disordered people play with entirely different rules than we do. Their version of shame (or being ashamed) if probably so different from yours and mine that it would blow your mind.

The best part about being more mature and aware is that we can spot these warning signs so much better than when we were young and plugged in. Just think how many chumps would actually believe Girl #2 regarding her being "the good kind" and doing well off the medications.

You are also dealing with the first true generation of low respect entitled people. Brought up under feminism, AFC dads (or no dads) and little or no accountability. What the 'f do they care if they are disrespectful? They are told it's okay to barf out their feelings and problems. The expect everyone around them to "support" them or take care of their problems or come to their level.

The good news is that there are decent people (and women) out there. You just have to run more numbers (and drop way more plates) to find the type you are expecting to find.
 

Rollo Tomassi

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"I know she's got problems, but I really think she's the ONE."

Sorry, couldn't resist,..
 

jophil28

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Rollo Tomassi said:
"I know she's got problems, but I really think she's the ONE."

Sorry, couldn't resist,..
There you go ridiculing the desire for 'the ONE' - his 'Soulmate'.
Look, you may believe that waiting for "the One "is as stupid as waiting for BigFoot to walk down your street but I am here to tell you that "soulmates" really do exist. IT is NO myth.
How can I be so sure?
Because in the past 30 years I have had 25 of them ! ;)
 

Unbridled_Phoenix

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Rollo Tomassi said:
"I know she's got problems, but I really think she's the ONE."

Sorry, couldn't resist,..
Man, that was me during my serious live-in LTR in college. And she was a Type 2 to boot!

Looking back really puts things in perspective.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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WaterTiger

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No, people have NO SHAME what so ever. Last month I sat at dinner for an hour listening to a guy tell me of his divorce, his "crazy evil" wife who "blew things out of proportion" and left him over the fact that he got HER sister pregnant...

....oh yeah...he's a keeper!
 

ThunderMaverick

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WaterTiger said:
No, people have NO SHAME what so ever. Last month I sat at dinner for an hour listening to a guy tell me of his divorce, his "crazy evil" wife who "blew things out of proportion" and left him over the fact that he got HER sister pregnant...

....oh yeah...he's a keeper!
Oh, God! You're being too hard on the guy. He could have fu<ked anyone in the world, but he kept it close and tight knit with the family. I mean I'm sure he knows where the sister's been and I'm sure the wife knew it too. Safest way to stray.

Nothing more important than family.:rock:
 

Unbridled_Phoenix

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Why should people have any shame if they have no accountability?

It's 2009 man, get with the times:cool:

True as that has been, one benefit I see from the recession is a rebirth of accountability. Savings rates are high, and frivolous spending is down.

The tide is turning...
 

Radharc

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It's like ppl think they can market themselves as something "special" and worthy of attention if they announce to the world how ****ed up they are. I've known a few where they actually build their whole identity around the fact that they're bipolar, or addicted to something, or whatever. Just handy sources of drama and stimulus for them=attention.

And the lack of accountability of women these days really is scary. Reminded me of this line from Jack Nicholson's character in As Good as it Gets, he's a writer and this woman asks him how he can write so well about women, and he answers: "I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability."

On the other hand these women are probably doing us a favour by announcing how screwed they are before we get too close. :)
 

Warrior74

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LOL. Gotta love it. Either they hide the crazy and try to play you for a chump, or the broadcast it and wonder why you don't love them for it.

I was chatting up this one chic on line..she was coming to visit from out of state. She tells me how she's bipolar, was abused as a child, believes in having casual sex with her male friends, has no job, went to some expensive upstate college and dropped out and is living with her ex boyfriend. Then she wonders why I don't get on chat with her anymore. Really? Wow.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Jitterbug

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It's cultural. Dysfunctional is cool - that's every TV show, and reality TV gives the rest a chance to show the world how much of a degenerate they can be on camera.
 

speed dawg

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Jitterbug said:
It's cultural. Dysfunctional is cool - that's every TV show, and reality TV gives the rest a chance to show the world how much of a degenerate they can be on camera.
Man you're right on. It's like people aren't wanting to better themselves any more, they want to dumb down to the other idiots around them to achieve some street cred or to avoid selling out or something. I don't get it. Makes it easier for me I guess, or at least that's the positive way to look at it.
 
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