Stick up my ass

[Seraph]

As I've been growing in my DJ experience, I've noticed a...barrier of sorts which is preventing me from becoming a better DJ. I guess it is due to how I grew up, but I feel like I am not acting as relaxed as I could be. I need tips or advice on how to relax. I am able to walk smoothly and slowly, but my speech is not as slow as I would like and my mannerisms/how I talk/ some of my clothes make me feel like I'm not flowing as smoothly as I could be.Below is a bit more info but I wanted to get the point of this topic out of the way and not drowned by clutter. Any help would be appreciated.


~
In highschool I somehow turned into an introvert and now that I'm in my first year at college I still haven't broken out of that shell yet. Most of the time I don't feel like interacting with alot of the kids at my college. It's an art college, and I was a nerd in highschool so I didn't think I'd be having as big of a problem connecting with them but..I do. Sometimes most of them seem too nerdy, and remind me of my highschool days. This has lead me to having very few friends (the relaxed guys that don't always talk about computers and video games). But even when I hang out with them I still don't feel like I totally fit in, I feel like I need to relax more and let loose. I just don't know how. It's crazy but when I'm with one group I don't feel totally in place and when I'm with the other, I still don't totally feel in place.

 

[Evil-Rom]

See, the reason noone responded was because you had that wonderfully descriptive thread name "Stick up my ass". Let me tell you right now, that will hinder you from becoming a "better DJ". I mean, if you go around saying "Stick up my ass" to everyone, of course you won't fit in. Except at that club full of guys who were acting kind of odd...

So, a bump for you.

 

[Seraph]

The title shouldn't determine whether or not advice will be given. When some think they can help someone on these forums, most people post their insight or advice. Deciding not to do so because of a title is silly, the same as thinking that half of these topic titles are things any of us would actually say out loud. On a final note, I'm not trying to fit in, I'm trying to learn how to relax more, and how to get into a relaxed state of mind.

 

[Beatflux]

Focus on what you want. When you feel bad it is because you are not focusing on what you don't want. Let's take the issue of body language. Ask yourself questions like , "How can I appear more relaxed?" "How can I feel more relaxed?" Picture in your mind the end result you want. If you cannot picture it, pick an someone who has what you want, and then picture yourself with the qualities that you want. If your having trouble AIM me at Beatflux or e-mail me titled "Asisstance Requested"(I get too much junk e-mail). If you want to take this a set further you may want to look at your beliefs. If you are having trouble with the focus issue contact me.

 

[LogicalOptimist]

The trick is not to force it, really.
(Socially relaxing, not the stick thing. )

As someone who's been there, I can relate.

It's just one of those tiny mental things that could conceivably be changed in a very good, eventful day. But realistically, you'll have to take the path slowly, since it's also pretty much the only certain way that you'll change.

It really will just have to come to you; that realization where "it's all in your head" will happen but not today, nor tomorrow. For me, it probably struck me when I had gone through some unpleasant changes in my life, and I came to the conclusion when thinking about how quickly our lives come and go...

If you're looking for a catalyst, sorry. You'll need to find your own. Using someone else's wouldn't do someone any good, anyway.

Anyway, to be more concrete...

You'd be surprised, at whom could be a friend. Example. I met some new friends through a sociable guy at work. They're kinda mostly artsy or English major types, and I and the other guy are computer scientists. It's hard to talk about our areas of expertise without alienating, for sure. So we talk about common stuff. We're all ravenous baseball fans of the same team... well except the one guy, heh. It's just guys hanging out. I worried that all of our discussions were going to be baseball, but they usually branch off in other intellectual directions. Common interests (work, clubs, college major, or Hell just college, etc.) or common friends go a long way.

And as far as being uptight goes, it goes away when you're just socially comfortable, like you feel that almost everyone is friendly. Hard to describe, sorry. It's really hard to DJ while being uptight, so I'd work on that first if I was you.

To sum it up, it's one half taking chances with new folk and one half "invisible mental processes".

You can IM me as well, and even though I'm not on here often I'll do my best to answer.

Also, I'd recommend Mister Fingers' post, Destroying Social Phobias, which doesn't totally apply but you'll still get a lot out of it.

 

[joecollapoppa]

get drunk

Get drunk then go school LOL. Wear a baseball cap siseways and shades. you will be soo cool.