Stealing someone's woman to be your wife does work

[ThisNThat]

...for some.

I heard some odd "How we met" stories and believe me, some of them started off as, "Well, I was dating a guy at this time" or "actually, he met me when I had a boyfirend at the time, lol!"

So you have to wonder if there's more to the story or something.

I knew of a guy that said he wound up with his wife of 20 years, when he was doing volunteer work with her. It was just the 2 of them at a volunteer table, so they were working closely, She had a fiance' at the time, but somehow he managed to "woo" her enough to get her to dump him and date him.

I think he just asked her to coffee after the volunteer project, and the rest was history.

So I guess there are some situations where "stealing" a man's woman worked inthis fashion?

I would say this guy threw some ULTIMATE game down on her, rright?

 

[RangerMIke]

It's hyper-gamy, there are countless posts on this on this board for more detail. Men do not 'steal' chicks from other guys. NOTHING happens unless the woman wants it to happen. I don't care how loyal you think your chick is, if the right man comes along who she perceives as better than you.... and that man shows her interest and makes a play for her, she will cheat on you. It is a genetic survival characteristic encoded into our species... This does not make women evil, just a female which happens to be the weaker gender of a dimorphic tournament species.

 

[SmooveMooves]

Men do not 'steal' chicks from other guys. NOTHING happens unless the woman wants it to happen.

Agree

I don't care how loyal you think your chick is, if the right man comes along who she perceives as better than you.... and that man shows her interest and makes a play for her, she will cheat on you.

Disagree. Women are not robots blindly obeying genetic coding. There are other factors that come in to play relating to a woman's participation in hypergamy. The main one is if she believes that the potential relationship with the other party would be an improvement and if its feasibly attainable.

There is always going to be a better man. If hypergamy operated as you say no one would be in relationships but the top 1% of men. A woman dating a man for 5 years is not going to cheat unless the relationship is on the rocks AND she finds a potential mate who she believes can give her a better relationship. Even then she still may choose to stick around due to the 5 years of attachment.

The funny thing is, men decide to stay in relationships using the same line of thinking. In social exchange theory this is called:

Comparison Level - Happiness in relationship based on experience.

Comparison Level of Alternatives - Happiness in relationship based on alternative relationships and risk.


If the man in the same 5 year relationship has access to a woman who is better and potentially offers a better relationship, he may cheat or not based on similar factors as the woman.

 

[ThisNThat]

It's hyper-gamy, there are countless posts on this on this board for more detail. Men do not 'steal' chicks from other guys. NOTHING happens unless the woman wants it to happen. I don't care how loyal you think your chick is, if the right man comes along who she perceives as better than you.... and that man shows her interest and makes a play for her, she will cheat on you. It is a genetic survival characteristic encoded into our species... This does not make women evil, just a female which happens to be the weaker gender of a dimorphic tournament species.

Not necessarily cheat...as in sleeping with a man without telling your current man (taking possible STD's back to him)? Or just cutting it off completely and allow some time between relationships?

 

[Deep Dish]

 

[RangerMIke]

Disagree. Women are not robots blindly obeying genetic coding. There are other factors that come in to play relating to a woman's participation in hypergamy. The main one is if she believes that the potential relationship with the other party would be an improvement and if its feasibly attainable.

There is always going to be a better man. If hypergamy operated as you say no one would be in relationships but the top 1% of men. A woman dating a man for 5 years is not going to cheat unless the relationship is on the rocks AND she finds a potential mate who she believes can give her a better relationship. Even then she still may choose to stick around due to the 5 years of attachment.

Bvllsh!t.

I never said women were robots, I'm talking about human nature. It is possible, through social conditioning to teach people of operate against their better nature, for example, we are genetically programmed for self-preservation, and reproduction. Yet we can teach men to go against this nature in combat... there are religious orders that promote celibacy as a life choice, people can go against there nature, but it takes effort. People with vows of celibacy will always be tempted, and soldiers in combat will ALWAYS be afraid.

You are right... there is ALWAYS a better man, but unless that man shows interest in a woman, the woman will not feel anything for him. Sure there is initial attraction, but unless the man acts on that attraction and responds to her indicators of interest that attraction melts away. Women do not pine over dudes indefinitely, there is an expiration to initial attraction. Women will screen you out quickly as unsuitable if the man does not act like a man and follow her cues. You know I'm right.

Getting a chick to cheat is like getting a duck to eat bread. Men like to be comfortable: women like emotional stimulation. The longer a couple is in a relationship the more 'comfortable' it becomes... there is no excitement. If the right man comes along and delivers this stimulation to a woman in a boring relationship, she will be tempted... her previous social conditioning may prevent her from acting on that immediately, but if she is attracted to a man that knows how to seduce women, eventually she will cave in.

I don't mess around with women in relationships... too much fvcking drama, there are plenty of unattached women to spend time with and there is no risk of running afoul with some jealous weak dude with a handgun. But I can think of 4 married women off the top of my head right now who are friends of mine that if I wanted to have sex with them I could... I can read body language and attraction, it isn't rocket science. Women that have been in relationships for a long time lose the skill of hiding their interest... it's like they are walking around with a big flashing red light over their heads. Single women are practiced in hiding interest, they are much harder to read and they already have a life of emotional stimulation.

 

[Reykhel]

I don't care how loyal you think your chick is, if the right man comes along who she perceives as better than you.... and that man shows her interest and makes a play for her, she will cheat on you. It is a genetic survival characteristic encoded into our species

So there's this chick I know.......let's say she's a friend of a friend. She's in a relationship. In fact they celebrated two years together
last week.....
I would say that in the SMV top trumps, I trump her boyfriend in all the important factors. I'm also in better physical condition than she is (pertaining to fitness and handsomeness) ......I think she's around the 25 mark......she's small with a little pot belly (by no means "fat" just a little pout) .....I don't find her attractive.

Going by the above theory, if I decided that I wanted a piece of her and decided to show interest and seduce her...
According to the above theory, if she perceives me as better than her boyfriend, I would successfully seduce her? And thus any other
chick worldwide in a similar context?

....Because perceived smv is the only determining factor for driving human behavior?

Women are not robots blindly obeying genetic coding. There are other factors that come in to play relating to a woman's participation in hypergamy. The main one is if she believes that the potential relationship with the other party would be an improvement and if its feasibly attainable.

Agreed. So many other factors that come into play.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Happened with my parents. Dad stole mom away from some other schmuck lol

 

[btownbuck2012]

I don't understand people who think this way.

Reminds me of the opening scene in the dark knight where the joker has all his henchmen kill each other one after another. "if you kill him, they'll be more money to go around".

What exactly does it do for you long term to get this woman to cheat on this guy with you? You think you're so special she won't do it with someone else later? Just leave it alone.

 

[btownbuck2012]

Bvllsh!t.

I never said women were robots, I'm talking about human nature. It is possible, through social conditioning to teach people of operate against their better nature, for example, we are genetically programmed for self-preservation, and reproduction. Yet we can teach men to go against this nature in combat... there are religious orders that promote celibacy as a life choice, people can go against there nature, but it takes effort. People with vows of celibacy will always be tempted, and soldiers in combat will ALWAYS be afraid.

You are right... there is ALWAYS a better man, but unless that man shows interest in a woman, the woman will not feel anything for him. Sure there is initial attraction, but unless the man acts on that attraction and responds to her indicators of interest that attraction melts away. Women do not pine over dudes indefinitely, there is an expiration to initial attraction. Women will screen you out quickly as unsuitable if the man does not act like a man and follow her cues. You know I'm right.

Getting a chick to cheat is like getting a duck to eat bread. Men like to be comfortable: women like emotional stimulation. The longer a couple is in a relationship the more 'comfortable' it becomes... there is no excitement. If the right man comes along and delivers this stimulation to a woman in a boring relationship, she will be tempted... her previous social conditioning may prevent her from acting on that immediately, but if she is attracted to a man that knows how to seduce women, eventually she will cave in.

I don't mess around with women in relationships... too much fvcking drama, there are plenty of unattached women to spend time with and there is no risk of running afoul with some jealous weak dude with a handgun. But I can think of 4 married women off the top of my head right now who are friends of mine that if I wanted to have sex with them I could... I can read body language and attraction, it isn't rocket science. Women that have been in relationships for a long time lose the skill of hiding their interest... it's like they are walking around with a big flashing red light over their heads. Single women are practiced in hiding interest, they are much harder to read and they already have a life of emotional stimulation.

So would you attribute cheating to primarily the novelty of a new guy who isn't necessarily any better than you are?

 

[RangerMIke]

So there's this chick I know.......let's say she's a friend of a friend. She's in a relationship. In fact they celebrated two years together
last week.....
I would say that in the SMV top trumps, I trump her boyfriend in all the important factors. I'm also in better physical condition than she is (pertaining to fitness and handsomeness) ......I think she's around the 25 mark......she's small with a little pot belly (by no means "fat" just a little pout) .....I don't find her attractive.

Going by the above theory, if I decided that I wanted a piece of her and decided to show interest and seduce her...
According to the above theory, if she perceives me as better than her boyfriend, I would successfully seduce her? And thus any other
chick worldwide in a similar context?

....Because perceived smv is the only determining factor for driving human behavior?
.

No.

You are evaluating your SMV and comparing it to your assessment of SMV with relation to him. Your opinion is less than irrelevant when it comes to a particular chick. You think you 'trump' her BF but it is only her opinion that matters in all this. Chicks are attracted to different things, you might not be her type... I know some chicks that only dig fat dudes... I wouldn't stand a chance against a guy that meets her needs in that area.

(1) She has to find you potentially 'fvckable'.
(2) She has to believe you meet her needs (whatever those might be) better than the man she is with.
(3) She has to believe she has a shot with you and gives you indicators of interest.
(4) You have to act on those indicators in a timely manner.

I know lots of women that are in relationships... a majority of them I do not have a shot with, I either do not met their needs, I am not their type, or they, at the moment, believe that the dude they are with is the best they can do. What you want is irrelevant: it's all about the chick.

 

[devilkingx2]

stealing someone's woman with the expectation of living happily ever after with her and dating her for 10 years is moronic

stealing someone's woman with the expectation of just banging her until you get bored without getting too serious is the immoral but hedonistic/pragmatic thing to do

 

[RangerMIke]

So would you attribute cheating to primarily the novelty of a new guy who isn't necessarily any better than you are?

Your opinion is not relevant... it is only the women that gets to decide if a particular man is better than the guy she is with. But women are emotional, it is possible at a particular moment in time, for reason only she understands, she might think someone is better than the dude she is with, and it is only temporary, or she might think he's better later to discover she had been gamed.

If a chick is in a LTR relationship that has gone stale.. and the man she is with does not know how to keep her emotionally stimulated. Then it is possible that she will crave emotional stimulation with the novelty of a different man. New romance is exciting... it can be extremely stimulating sneaking around fvcking new dudes. I have a female friend, who cheats on her husband... she jokes around about it, says she loves it when kisses her husband after she's blown another dude. Women can be nasty little b!tches. So yea... if she is with a guy that doesn't get her off anymore, she will find that elsewhere.

 

[nismo-4]

If you're not first, you're last. Stay in first place and you won't have to worry about being cheated on.

There is no such thing as being too alpha.

 

[lizardking82]

Your opinion is not relevant... it is only the women that gets to decide if a particular man is better than the guy she is with. But women are emotional, it is possible at a particular moment in time, for reason only she understands, she might think someone is better than the dude she is with, and it is only temporary, or she might think he's better later to discover she had been gamed.

If a chick is in a LTR relationship that has gone stale.. and the man she is with does not know how to keep her emotionally stimulated. Then it is possible that she will crave emotional stimulation with the novelty of a different man. New romance is exciting... it can be extremely stimulating sneaking around fvcking new dudes. I have a female friend, who cheats on her husband... she jokes around about it, says she loves it when kisses her husband after she's blown another dude. Women can be nasty little b!tches. So yea... if she is with a guy that doesn't get her off anymore, she will find that elsewhere.

Women are emotional and thus stupid as **** in a lot of situations. How on earth is a man that you know for 6 months going to make a better partner for you than someone you've been with for years?

Let's say there this X woman who has been with a guy for 3-4 years. Things are mostly fine, they have a peaceful relationship, thinking of having a baby. Let's also say that the guy has a normal job, he earns a good living and she helps him, too. Along comes guy Y who is a CEO at an important company, makes a couple of times more money than her guy, dresses better and is, of course, a novelty.

If you ask me about it, if this woman leaves her guy for the CEO, chances are she is ****ing up her life completely. Why? Because this woman has GIGS and she thinks everything is greener on the bed of this CEO. Well, for once, she will need some time to create anywhere near the same understand and chemistry with the CEO compared to what she already has with her guy and after the honeymoon period, she will probably find out a long list of things she dislikes about him, all taking her back to point A = searching for a new guy. This girl is the hamster on the wheel now, running to catch a prey that doesn't exist.

In most cases, women just get carried away by the emotions of the moment and what they perceive to be value. And in a lot of cases, they perceive **** people as valuable people. These creatures are in a constant fight of getting the best genes possible from the most alpha male possible, forgetting that a possible offspring is the amount of investment put onto him, and quite a lot of emotional investment, too. The more alpha the guy is, the higher the chances are that he does not stick around to take care of the kid and that kinda weighs down the advantages of his genes. Good genes + bad upbringing (no father around, single mom) = average kid. However, average genes + good upbringing, in my opinion, makes for higher chances of the offspring being higher quality.

You know how they say that leaning on somebody is the easy way out? Well, no, it's not. Leaning on the RIGHT person is a skill in itself and most people do not have it as they rely on the wrong people, ****ing their life up. That's most women for you, right there.

 

[resilient]

New romance is exciting... it can be extremely stimulating sneaking around fvcking new dudes. I have a female friend, who cheats on her husband... she jokes around about it, says she loves it when kisses her husband after she's blown another dude. Women can be nasty little b!tches.a guy that doesn't get her off anymore, she will find that elsewhere.

That's something I wonder about.

I have a female friend that was burned by an ex that cheated on her and left her for a new girl for a while then wanted to bring her back in the fold as in between fwb. She did that for a while then ended things because he wouldn't leave his gf. She said she agreed to be fwb for a while with the ex because she wanted to get back at the gf that stole her then-bf. She grieved after realizing he would never ditch the gf to be exclusive with her so she started up her OLD engine like mad. One guy, she dropped because she didn't like hooking up with a guy who had a gf (who she had met once), but then told me soon after that she was dating a married guy. I told her to watch her back and she said "I know. The infatuation won't last." Wow. It makes me wonder if she has a serious scorn against men now as a result of the woman who stole her man and wants to make other women pay.

*Edit* Her behavior validates Des's alpha-widow theory in a way. This ex fvcked her emotions so good, she thinks and craves the ex even though she's hooked up with several people after him.

It's amazing how some women (or many?) only want a pre-selected guy who is either in an open, exclusive or prefers casual relationships. Intimacy averse, no? Emotional distance, just physical as a barrier to protect the heart. In other words, the single guy w/o plates aren't appealing to her challenge instinct.

 

[devilkingx2]

I have a female friend that was burned by an ex that cheated on her and left her for a new girl for a while then wanted to bring her back in the fold as in between fwb. She did that for a while then ended things because he wouldn't leave his gf. She said she agreed to be fwb for a while with the ex because she wanted to get back at the gf that stole her then-bf. She grieved after realizing he would never ditch the gf to be exclusive with her so she started up her OLD engine like mad. One guy, she dropped because she didn't like hooking up with a guy who had a gf (who she had met once), but then told me soon after that she was dating a married guy. I told her to watch her back and she said "I know. The infatuation won't last." Wow. It makes me wonder if she has a serious scorn against men now as a result of the woman who stole her man and wants to make other women pay.

sounds like she has a fetish for cucking other women, either that or she has a fetish for being a sidegirl

 

[mrgoodstuff]

stealing someone's woman with the expectation of living happily ever after with her and dating her for 10 years is moronic

stealing someone's woman with the expectation of just banging her until you get bored without getting too serious is the immoral but hedonistic/pragmatic thing to do

In my 45 years of experience it usually doesn't work out. If someone was just dating around that's different. But if you are "stealing" a woman in a long term relationship she will usually do to you what she did to him.

 

[lizardking82]

In my 45 years of experience it usually doesn't work out. If someone was just dating around that's different. But if you are "stealing" a woman in a long term relationship she will usually do to you what she did to him.

Exactly what I think. I will take one level higher and say that I think it is OK to develop feelings for such a woman, but control your feelings. Enjoy the experience and when it ends, it ends. Simple as that.

 

[RangerMIke]

Women are just following their natural proclivities. This doesn't make them bad... it just makes them women. Women will naturally be attracted to men that act like men, and who best meets their needs. This is how the human race survived and thrived for eons.

Men are naturally attracted to young pretty women... that is the way we are. Women are no more stupid from dumping their reliable boring safe guy for the ambitious alpha male with resources, than a dude is for not getting with the overweight sweet loyal 40 year old instead of the hot empty headed 24 year old hard body.

Both genders make bad decisions because of our natures. For example, men continue to get married even in the face of the pain it causes most of the time.