"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Starting from scratch

gonnamakeit

Don Juan
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May 3, 2008
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Some background: I am a sophmore was new to school this year and thought if I was nice to people I would eventually get invited places It never happened so what I am left with is a few "freinds" who I talk to and get along with but who never want to hang out with me and everyone else is ok with me but now it is kind of hard to hang out with them. I have not hung out with people for ahwile and do not know how to start I am very afraid of not seeing anyone from school over the summer and then I will come in next year and be screwed since I wouldn;t even be the new kid. Any ideas for how to start makeing freinds since if I just go up to people it will be weird. I sit with people at lunch but I am just sort of there for example if they leave the wouldn't invite me but none of them really dislike me. Also it is not that no one knows me am fairly well known at school like most groups of kids will say whats up to me or high five me it is just I do not know how to go from acquaintance to freind. (I am horrible at talking to people)
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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jon3947

Don Juan
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Jan 16, 2008
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if you start talking to people, you will make friends
 

Xer0

New Member
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Feb 26, 2008
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Location
Troy, MI
Read up on **** man. Local news, upcoming events, cars, psychology, sports, anything. Show your face everywhere. And get to know everyone really well. Play sports. There is natural attraction in physical ability.
 
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