Starting from scratch in your late 20s

[EternalBachelor]

I discovered the DJ site quite a few years ago. But never really got into it. I was busy with studying, relationships and had problems with depression etc.

Growing up I was unpopular and never went to bars or clubs. Didn't get a gf until I was 21 (online dating). Had several relationships (again online dating) but never really learnt how to meet girls in the real world.

But now I am starting to feel time is slipping away and after breaking up from a one year relationship I realised I never really got the chance to spread my wild oats and I do not want to waste my time in relationships.

The main sticking point I have always had when it comes to meeting women is shyness/social anxiety. If I go to a bar my facial features freeze, my body shakes, I cannot talk above the din of the music and Im panicking so much I cannot relax and engage girls in conversations. Also Im a bit of a loner so do not really have friends I go out with every week. The friends I do have or either female or males in relationships/not into bars and clubs.

Ive dabbled a bit in day game but I cannot help feeling Im doing something weird and antisocial and while people like Paul Janka seem to do well with it, coming from England I really cannot imagine many girls would give their number to a complete stranger in the street. The only socially acceptable way to meet strangers in the UK is in bars and clubs.

Would love some advice on sorting this area of my life out. I want to enjoy my 30s.

 

[Plinco]

I discovered the DJ site quite a few years ago. But never really got into it. I was busy with studying, relationships and had problems with depression etc.

Growing up I was unpopular and never went to bars or clubs. Didn't get a gf until I was 21 (online dating). Had several relationships (again online dating) but never really learnt how to meet girls in the real world.

But now I am starting to feel time is slipping away and after breaking up from a one year relationship I realised I never really got the chance to spread my wild oats and I do not want to waste my time in relationships.

The main sticking point I have always had when it comes to meeting women is shyness/social anxiety. If I go to a bar my facial features freeze, my body shakes, I cannot talk above the din of the music and Im panicking so much I cannot relax and engage girls in conversations. Also Im a bit of a loner so do not really have friends I go out with every week. The friends I do have or either female or males in relationships/not into bars and clubs.

Ive dabbled a bit in day game but I cannot help feeling Im doing something weird and antisocial and while people like Paul Janka seem to do well with it, coming from England I really cannot imagine many girls would give their number to a complete stranger in the street. The only socially acceptable way to meet strangers in the UK is in bars and clubs.

Would love some advice on sorting this area of my life out. I want to enjoy my 30s.

I am no expert, but from my personal experience it takes years of effort and practice (to get where I am at), so you better get started now. The only other thing I can say is that you should get or stay healthy, and hopefully your age will just be a number.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Batchelor,
"The only socially acceptable way to meet strangers in the UK is in bars and clubs."I cannot comment on the States,but I know and Love Scotland well,what you say is just not right.....every where you go there is dancing of every description from Pubs to Ball Room,I think it would be difficult NOT to hook up on that scene.....Then there is Tramping,walking,climbing and soo many outdoors activities....lots of friendly people,how many do you want for Petes sake?...if all else fails there's Frienship groups,hobbies,and Tech Courses....Don't sit at home singing poor bvgger me,get out and enjoy life,starting tonight.