Starting a bar

Joined
Mar 21, 2016
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29
#1
My social skills are really terrible. Striving everyday to improve it, but after 90% of the social encounters I feel horrible. The other 10% is with family, some colleagues or people I just don't care about.

Now my dream is to start a bar, because I love the social aspect, the managing, the organizing,... As well as creating the correct scene for a party, although this can be very subjective and depends on your public, so not completely sure about that. As long as I employ the right people who have those skills that I don't have, is there any chance of succes? And I can learn from them in the meantime.

But I want your honest opinions, I do believe I am good at the managing stuff, but not so at the social part. Whenever you go out, how often do you see the boss of that bar/restaurant/club? Of course behind the scenes they need those social skills to get good deals, to attract people,...

And another thing, I worked at a bar for some time in the past. Yes I barely could hold a conversation with the customers, but they all liked me because I was friendly and did my job apparantly quite well (typical nice guy behaviour). And I feel I was more social back then, than I am now.

But I simply can't get this thought out of my head. I'm currently in a job which I do love, but I guess not enough. There is no social aspect to it and although it earns 3 times the average of my country, every day is that same idea in my head. But if you read my threads, you can see I'm in a bad spot socially and emotionally...

Honest advice is appreciated.
 

billtx49

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#2
The hospitality industry may not be your best move considering your mindset. Almost every customer wants to be on a first name conversational basis with the owner. Some states or jurisdictions charge an exorbitant amount for that kind of liqour license also…
 

markfromeurope

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 13, 2017
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realm of infinite possibilities
#3
My social skills are really terrible. Striving everyday to improve it, but after 90% of the social encounters I feel horrible. The other 10% is with family, some colleagues or people I just don't care about.

Now my dream is to start a bar, because I love the social aspect, the managing, the organizing,... As well as creating the correct scene for a party, although this can be very subjective and depends on your public, so not completely sure about that. As long as I employ the right people who have those skills that I don't have, is there any chance of succes? And I can learn from them in the meantime.

But I want your honest opinions, I do believe I am good at the managing stuff, but not so at the social part. Whenever you go out, how often do you see the boss of that bar/restaurant/club? Of course behind the scenes they need those social skills to get good deals, to attract people,...

And another thing, I worked at a bar for some time in the past. Yes I barely could hold a conversation with the customers, but they all liked me because I was friendly and did my job apparantly quite well (typical nice guy behaviour). And I feel I was more social back then, than I am now.

But I simply can't get this thought out of my head. I'm currently in a job which I do love, but I guess not enough. There is no social aspect to it and although it earns 3 times the average of my country, every day is that same idea in my head. But if you read my threads, you can see I'm in a bad spot socially and emotionally...

Honest advice is appreciated.
- do not open a bar
- keep the job
- get much more social (events, classes) after work with money from the job
 

spinich

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Oct 2, 2015
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#4
Watch Bar Rescue. Staged, but informative on what all goes into owning a successful bar. Good luck.
 

speed dawg

Master Don Juan
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Jun 9, 2006
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The Dirty South
#5
My social skills are really terrible. Striving everyday to improve it, but after 90% of the social encounters I feel horrible. The other 10% is with family, some colleagues or people I just don't care about.

Now my dream is to start a bar, because I love the social aspect, the managing, the organizing,... As well as creating the correct scene for a party, although this can be very subjective and depends on your public, so not completely sure about that. As long as I employ the right people who have those skills that I don't have, is there any chance of succes? And I can learn from them in the meantime.

But I want your honest opinions, I do believe I am good at the managing stuff, but not so at the social part. Whenever you go out, how often do you see the boss of that bar/restaurant/club? Of course behind the scenes they need those social skills to get good deals, to attract people,...

And another thing, I worked at a bar for some time in the past. Yes I barely could hold a conversation with the customers, but they all liked me because I was friendly and did my job apparantly quite well (typical nice guy behaviour). And I feel I was more social back then, than I am now.

But I simply can't get this thought out of my head. I'm currently in a job which I do love, but I guess not enough. There is no social aspect to it and although it earns 3 times the average of my country, every day is that same idea in my head. But if you read my threads, you can see I'm in a bad spot socially and emotionally...

Honest advice is appreciated.
If you do it, I'd consider it more of an investment. I'd first write down an outline of exactly what you want it to be and where, etc., then I'd hire out all aspects of it to people who know what they are doing. Marketers, bartenders, security, everything. You manage those people and the finances. So yeah, you've got the right idea as far as hiring what you don't do well. Just know you're going to have a high up front cost. I don't see any way around that in the bar business. Also, yeah, you're going to have get better at relationships, even if you're an introvert. You're going to need to glad-hand a little.

Most people say to start small with a business and build your way up. I can see that with a restaurant, maybe do some catering first or whatever for a dinner party, but I don't know how you could do a bar. Maybe get in the party business, and 'bar tend' a couple of smaller house parties first? Might be a smaller expense and you can build up some money that way while getting experience.
 

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Joined
Mar 12, 2017
Messages
78
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Location
Los Angeles
#6
The thing about bartenders isnt that they're great conversationalists, it's that they're good listeners and have a friendly demeanor. They listen to a bunch of drunks tell dumb stories all night and so they develop a high tolerance for BS, and people appreciate that. People love to talk about themselves and tell dumb stories about their lives so when they find someone willing to listen (or they think is actually paying attention) they get excited and spill their hearts to that person.

My brother-in-law's cousin is a bartender at an upscale joint in los angeles and the female patrons fawn over him because he listens to their BS drama. They feel "a connection" to him and that "he's a kindred spirit" when all he really does is smile and nod.... Lol, they tip him well and offer to go home with him....dude is living like a rockstar....
 
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