"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

Stange texts from g/f

Duracell_Bunny

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 18, 2009
Messages
247
Reaction score
6
Location
England
We've been dating for 6-8 months, and been "official" for the last 3. She asked about 3 times before I agreed to go into a relationship with her.

This morning I got these two texts:

"Morning gorgeous. I bet you are sleepy today!!! I had a horrible dream :-( we fell out and you dumped me I woke up crying :-( have a lovely day at work xxxxxxxxxxxx"

"This dream/nightmare has proper messed my head all I'm thinking now is that you wanna be with someone else not me arrrggghhh :-("

Anyway, she has been acting a little strange recently - I'm a little worried that shes thinking about moving in with me. I currently live alone, and she's already told me her parents (who she currently lives with) have asked if she's thought about moving in. She's been searching for a place over the past view weeks, but during this time she's been mentioning how her freinds are all loved up etc. and people at her work place have been questioning why she doesn't move in with me.

Thankfuly she has not asked me directly so far, if she does I will be explaining I am very unsure, as I do not want to settle yet.

Givining myself a reality check I've realized a few weeks ago I should focus more on spending time with my friends, I was feeling somewhat empty and don't want to end up having to rebuild my life if we do end our relationship.

Sun night, my freind was down for the weekend to visit his parents (he lives a few hours away). He invited me out for a drink, and I couldn't really refuse otherwise I proberbly won't be able to see him in person for another few weeks. We had planned for a cozy night in, although it was only one drink and I would have only been gone for just an hour. She was on about going home instead, even though I said she's welcome to come along. In the end she ended up staying and having a bath at mine. When I got back she was more than pleased to see me, she gave sex and she even let me finish on her face and then continued giving me a b/f until I had completely finished, which is a first!

Although I feel confident that I have the pottentional to find someone hotter, I'd be gutted if we ended the relationship. The one I have now is very high quality and treats me with huge respect. Although all of this crap of "oh your just going to leave me for someone a lot fitter than me" and also when she once asked about other girls I was dating when we first met, that was a WTF? moment.

In the back of my mind I do from time to time think of being with, and checking out other women who are hotter. But I would never cheat, I've been cheated on in the past and know what it feels like. I have not been lining up anyone, or been in contact with any other chick.

How the how do I handle this situation? I feel thats she's wanting a lot more comitment than I am ready for, and maybe will end up loosing her over it.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

Iceberg

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 19, 2002
Messages
3,110
Reaction score
136
Age
45
Location
Manhattan, NY
Duracell_Bunny said:
How the how do I handle this situation? I feel thats she's wanting a lot more comitment than I am ready for, and maybe will end up loosing her over it.
You're handling it fine. You're being realistic.

You can't move in with a girl you've only dated for 6-8 months. And you're smart enough to know that.

If you lose her over that, then you're better off. Because she should also have bigger plans in her life than moving in with a guy she's dated for half a year. If she doesn't, then she lacks the ambition you'd want in a high quality woman.

This is just me, but I wouldn't dream of moving in with a girl unless we've dated for at least 2 years.
 

Chickfight

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2010
Messages
477
Reaction score
30
Guys should read this to help understand how neediness and clingy behavior is such a turn-off. If it pushes us guys who pretty much just need regular sex and a pretty face to be satisfied away, then imagine how a girl will react. I got shivers just reading it.

I give you props though for getting this girl on lockdown though. You seem to have a good perspective on things.

The answers easy really. If you're not ready for that (which is smart cause that's a fvckin big step) just tell her that straight up. What's she going to do? She won't leave you, because she likes you too much. Being a man and standing your ground will only make her like you even more.
 

Allurre

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 14, 2008
Messages
661
Reaction score
19
The guys are right. If you gut instinct is telling you it'll be trouble for her to move in with you, let her know you're not ready. Be straight with her, and don't make a big deal out of it. The more you focus on this issue, the more it'll magnify.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

Read more...

vatoloco

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 5, 2010
Messages
1,408
Reaction score
65
IDK man, sounds like she might be insecure, as well as a little passive-aggressive. I'd keep an eye on her and start thinking about the possibility of spinning new plates in case you have to drop her.
 

Diaforetikos

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 28, 2009
Messages
411
Reaction score
24
Location
Northern California
I'm with everyone on this too. I actually wouldn't move in with a girl until we decide to get married. But that's just me. Too much drama if we lived together and weren't married.

Your girl has probably been hurt before and definitely doesn't want it to happen again. That's part of a relationship man. Now you gotta decide if you wanna break it off, or stick with it and find a solution to her insecurity.

Yes, I know its her problem, but if you don't wanna break up over a dumb reason, then you need to sacrifice some parts of yourself in order to do so.

My girl constantly thought I was cheating. I nipped that sh!t in the butt before it got outta hand. I told her, "Look, there aren't any other ho's or b!tches that I'm sneaking off too. If I wanted another women, I'd leave you first. It's not that serious. So I'm gonna need you to trust me and try to move on."

She hasn't freaked since and its been easier on me. If you still want her, deal with the bullsh!t now, before it gets worse.

But that's assuming you still wanna be with her.
 

The Bad Ass Canadian

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 15, 2003
Messages
1,652
Reaction score
20
Location
CAN-NUH-DUH
Definitely do not let her move in.

At all costs.

This is an area where you're better off waiting until there's some serious history together and there's an understanding (discussed or just simply obvious) that you'll be in it for the long-haul.

Moving in with women when you are just dating or even long term, but not ready for a deeper commitment is a recipe for disaster. I did it once and I never will, ever again.

Any LTR I have from this day forward will mean that she can stay over as much as she wants but she'll always be paying rent at a place of her own.

People need to have those boundaries until they decide they want to spend their lives (or any number of years) as a married couple.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

Top