"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Stand up comedy to boost your mood..
- Thread starter jookins
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Bron-Yr-Aur Stomp.
Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 15, 2005
- Messages
- 28
- Reaction score
- 0
- Age
- 37
Smooth Player 056
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 6, 2005
- Messages
- 868
- Reaction score
- 3
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
I'm Joe Dirt
Master Don Juan
Generally I just watch whoever is on Comedy Central Presents.
Kitsune
Don Juan
Cheatz
Senior Don Juan
Keeper
Master Don Juan
"When you have a latino girlfriend, you don't need a big brother."
Kitsune
Don Juan
But other than that, his trademark sketches are wonderful.
Originally posted by Keeper
Omg, I can't believe no one mentioned Pablo Fransicso.
"When you have a latino girlfriend, you don't need a big brother."
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.