"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Stand up comedy to boost your mood..

jookins

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I like listening to stand up comedy sometimes to boost my mood, post what you like here, as i'm looking for some good stuff......... Dane Cook is hilarious..
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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nishbuk

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Russell Peters is my current fav. He's awesome!

Somebody gonna get hurt real bad!!
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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I'm Joe Dirt

Master Don Juan
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I like Carlos Mencia. He has his own show now too, which is also good, very smiliar to his stand up act.

Generally I just watch whoever is on Comedy Central Presents.
 

Kitsune

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Bill Bailey's my kinda stand-up.
 

Cheatz

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If none of you people heard of Dane Cook I highly recommend watching him he obliterate's any other standup comic i've seen.
 

Keeper

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Omg, I can't believe no one mentioned Pablo Fransicso.

"When you have a latino girlfriend, you don't need a big brother." ;)
 

Kitsune

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Pablo Francisco is kinda OK, but he gets way way too nervous on stage (a la "Bits and Pieces") and he does too many female impressions.

But other than that, his trademark sketches are wonderful.

Originally posted by Keeper
Omg, I can't believe no one mentioned Pablo Fransicso.

"When you have a latino girlfriend, you don't need a big brother." ;)
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Triple X

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Not sure if any of you Americans/Canadians have heard of Lee Evans... but he's quite possibly the funniest man on the planet.
 
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