You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Same here.Cure said:Squat for big arms indeed.
Ive not done any direct arm work for several months now, yet my arms are noticably bigger, certainly bigger than they ever were when I was doing 30 bicep curls every other day!! :crackup:
Cure.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
insidious said:mrR, thanks for your typically caustic input, but please don't even pretend to presume to understand my private motivations.
If your mental boundaries define your worldview, I think you've quite well displayed that those boundaries are in fact the size of a flea.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Drum & Bass, how dare you post a picture of my body without my consent. I agree tho, my arms have shot up and inch in the last few weeks just by incorporating a little more direct arm work into the scence, that is not to say however that it is not imperative to concentrate on the compundsDrum&Bass said:genetics may play a role in the size of someones arms or how hard someone has to work to get them looking good, but squats dont give you big arms. Upperbody work and direct arm training gives you big arms. Squats are a nice little bonus.
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you're joking... please? tell me you're jokingThreeStorms said:Like the guys carrying dumbells in their car trunks to pump up biceps before hitting the clubs Oo
Don't be one of those guys!
Nay, I heard that from credible sources. Teenage boys driving around with dumbbells, wearing XS muscle shirts and pumping up their arms on the disco parking lot.Cure said:you're joking... please? tell me you're joking![]()
you let them leave?Kerpal said:I've seen guys come into the gym in clubbing clothes on Friday night, do a few set of bench press and curls, and leave.
Yeah right, I was talking about those pretty boys with a ridiculous small frame but (moderatly) big guns - which they always show with some sleeveless dress shirts. You know immediatly that this guy does curls and not much else and has no clue about BB.Kerpal said:^ I think he was talking about people who have disproportionately big arms. If you have big arms, chest and shoulders and small everything else, you're going to look ridiculous.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.