"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Spesmilitis's workout journal

spesmilitis

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today: legs

squats - 3 sets. 115 lbs 10 reps. 125 lbs 7 reps. 125 6 reps
stifflegged deads- 3 sets. 140 lbs 10 reps. 155 lbs 7 reps. 155 lbs 7 reps.
leg curls 3 sets- don't pay too much attention when im on machines
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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spesmilitis

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today: chest

military press: warm up: 65 lbs 10 reps. 85, 3 reps (dam). 75 5 reps.

dumbell flat press: 50 lbs dumbells 10 reps. 50 lbs again, 9 reps, then went and did 2 reps of 42.5's right after.

Fly's: two sets

incline press: 47.5, 5 reps and did two reps of 42.5 right after. 47.5, 4 reps

lateral raises: 2 sets

tricept pull downs: 4 sets
 

spesmilitis

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today: back/legs

squats: 115 lbs - 10 reps, 9 reps, 9 reps
deadlifts: 155lbs-10 reps, 195- 8 reps, 7 reps
pull downs- 150 lbs 8 reps then 120 4 reps. 150 6 reps then 120 3 reps
stifflegged deadlifts- 155lbs- 10 reps. 175 8 reps, 7 reps.

weight 132 lbs
 

spesmilitis

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today: chest

military press: 65 lbs 10 reps. 85 lbs 5 reps. 85, 5 reps.
dumbell flat: 55 lbs dumbells, 6, 5 and 4 reps
2 sets butterflyes
2 sets lateral raises
3 sets tricpet pulldowns.
 

Warboss Alex

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spesmilitis said:
today: chest

military press: 65 lbs 10 reps. 85 lbs 5 reps. 85, 5 reps.
dumbell flat: 55 lbs dumbells, 6, 5 and 4 reps
2 sets butterflyes
2 sets lateral raises
3 sets tricpet pulldowns.
why did you start with shoulders? that way you're shortchanging your chest if your delts are already fatigued. the chest press will give you more overall growth than the military press.

it's fine to squat or deadlift last in a workout because they're not really affected by your other exercises, however all presses include major deltoid work so doing shoulders first seems to defeat the object for me ...

(otherwise looks good to me!)
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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spesmilitis

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Thanks i'll keep that in mind.

I'll keep the military press first for now. I've been doing bench for a while and havn't improved much, but I just switched from dumbell shoulder press to barbell shoulder press only 2 weeks ago, so i'm making improvements fast on it. Its a priority for now. Once the improvement on the military press levels off, I will do bench before shoulders.

Thanks for all the time you put into helping me and everyone else on this boards. Hopefully I'll do the same when I'm knowlegable enough.
 

spesmilitis

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legs and back:

Squats:
120-9reps. 130 7 reps. 130 7 reps.
Deadlifts:
185-9 reps. 205 7 reps. 205 7 reps. 205 7 reps. (hell yeah)
Rows: 75 lbs 7 reps then 3 reps of 55 right after (middle setting)
75 lbs 5 reps, then 3 reps of 55 right after (top setting)
Siff-legged deadlifts: 155 7 reps. Did this 4 times (daym, still don['t think form is perfect)
1 set of leg curls.
 

Skilla_Staz

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What are your stats?

I would personally recommend doing deadlifts maybe on a Wednesday, and Squats on Friday. Seperating these two will allow you to go maximal effort both days without hindering your weight on either one.

WBA, thoughts on that?
 

Warboss Alex

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Skilla_Staz said:
What are your stats?

I would personally recommend doing deadlifts maybe on a Wednesday, and Squats on Friday. Seperating these two will allow you to go maximal effort both days without hindering your weight on either one.

WBA, thoughts on that?
deadlift wed, squat fri --> 24hrs rest between lifts == bad idea.

deadlifts on monday and squats friday is fine, since you've got the weekend to recover. monday and thursday are other options too.
 

Skilla_Staz

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Looks like i'm going to have to revamp MY routine as well.

I've got deads on Wednesdays and Squats on Fridays. Might moved Deads to Tuesdays
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

Throttle

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well, splitting them up to wed & fri certainly beats doing them the same day... but I'd put 2 full days of rest between them.
 

Skilla_Staz

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Would switching my bench (monday) and deadlift (wednesday) days be efficient, while leaving my squats on friday, possibly thursday?
 

spesmilitis

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my stats are:

132 lbs
5' 8''
low body fat

I don't feel that squats are hindering my deadlifts . . . .I feel like I can do deadlifts at the end of a hardworkout and perform them pretty well. I just did a personal best with em in my last workout. Squats on the other hand, have to be performed first for me to do em without hinderance. So right now I feel like im doing both of em without personal hinderance. However, its time for me do mix up my workout. Tommarow im doing chest, friday legs only, then back/chest, then legs, then back/chest again.
 

Warboss Alex

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Skilla_Staz said:
Would switching my bench (monday) and deadlift (wednesday) days be efficient, while leaving my squats on friday, possibly thursday?
seems good, go for it.
 

Warboss Alex

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spesmilitis said:
my stats are:

132 lbs
5' 8''
low body fat

I don't feel that squats are hindering my deadlifts . . . .I feel like I can do deadlifts at the end of a hardworkout and perform them pretty well. I just did a personal best with em in my last workout. Squats on the other hand, have to be performed first for me to do em without hinderance. So right now I feel like im doing both of em without personal hinderance. However, its time for me do mix up my workout. Tommarow im doing chest, friday legs only, then back/chest, then legs, then back/chest again.
why's it time to mix up your workout?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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spesmilitis

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Today: chest
weight 131 (dam bjj, and classes)

Flat dumbell press: 55 dumbells, 9 reps. 7 reps then 4 reps with 40's. 6 reps then 4 reps with 40's. Personal best, hell yeah! Note, go up to 60's and 45's next time.

Barbell shoulder press: 70 lbs, 7 reps (non max out). 85 lbs, 4 reps, 3 reps. Dam, I was aiming for 6-7 reps. Its a trade off from doing bench first.

pull downs: 3 sets
butterfly's: 2 sets
lateral raises: 3 sets. Note, start with 12.5's next time.
 

spesmilitis

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today: back/legs
weight 131 =/

squat: 125, 9 reps. 130 7 reps, 7 reps.
Pull downs: 165 6 reps, then 135 4 reps. 165 5 reps, 135 3 reps. Personal best
deadlifts: 190: 9 reps. 210 7 reps, 7 reps, 7 reps. personal best
sifflegged deadlifts: mostly experimenting with different weights, trying to get a better feel for the lift
Leg curls: 1 set.

Dam, i keep getting personal bests, but my weight stays the same. I bet it'll shoot up when I take my break from BJJ.
 

spesmilitis

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today back:

Deadlifts: 195 -9 reps. 215-7 reps, 5 reps, 4 reps. personal best. But dam! my grip kept giving out. I couldn't done more, but the bar on my left hand kept slipping, even whey I changed the grip.

Pull downs:
165 lbs 7 reps, then 135 3 reps. 165 4 reps, then 135 2 reps. (personal best)

Rows:
80 lbs: 6 reps, then 3 reps of 60. middle grip
80 lbs: 5 reps, then 2 reps of 60, top grip
(personal best)

forearmbar curls

1 sept of pullups.

personal best = most weight i've done for atleast 5 reps or more reps done at max weight i've done.

weight 131.5
 

Warboss Alex

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congrats on the personal best's.. for deadlifts buy straps or chalk, that'll help your grip out.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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