Specific Question on My Current Girl/Girl Situation....

[gixxer]

OK, I have a specific question on my current girl/girl situation. As you may know from my last post, my current FB (23, myspace) wants to have her first bi experience with me and another girl. She's very shy and submissive, but is a freak once she warms up and is led properly.

Here's the question: I'm driving this thing at her request and have been contacting bi/lesbian girls online that I think we'd find attractive. I'm contacting them AS HER because she's too shy and passive to do it without a lot of encouragement from me. I'm concerned that me corresponding with them AS HER will create an incongruency when we/they meet and blow it and yet I'm not sure Steph (my primary) has the "horsepower" to follow through and drive an online meeting to a real life meeting, etc.

The only solution I can think of is that we should sit down together and do the corresponding but that creates the problem of how fast we can escalate since we don't see each other every day.

gixx

 

[Vulpine]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=97342&highlight=threesome

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=73979&highlight=3-way

Do some searches.

You can't really force them, you have to cultivate them.

 

[Bad_Lil'Pixie]

I'm contacting them AS HER because she's too shy and passive to do it without a lot of encouragement from me.

gixx

Facts:

1.) She's TOO SHY to contact someone anonamously, over the internet, but she wants a threesome. (hmmm)

2.) You are gender-bending and doing all the work to make this happen for her. (rrriiiiiiigggghhhhhttttt)

3.) You are encourageing her and basically steering her through this because your not sure she has the "drive". (hmmm)

My thoughts:
You are the master con.

You have a FB who wants to mean more to you, she is probably hopelessly in love with you and willing to do whatever it takes to win you over.

You are aware of it and playing her desires like a fiddle.

You want the threesome and since she is a shy/submissive/has little drive (also known as low self-esteem) you feel she will do it for you.

(Hey, I'm just giving credit where credit is due here.)

You will make it happen, you, her and the third will all get together and she will show you tremendous "horsepower" as she dashes to the bathroom and locks the door. You will probably have lots of drama,tears and sobs echoing out of the bathroom, oh then there's the naked bi/lesbian stranger, wondering WTF, waiting for you on the bed and wanting an explanation.

Can you not hear the train coming???

I do wish you good luck, for all the effort you are putting into this twisted little play I hope you at least get head out of it.

 

[Vulpine]

The "deteriorating relationship" side affect only happens with people who were likely to have their relationship fail anyway.

If both consent to a 3 way, usually there is a conversation that goes on in which this should be pointed out:

Man: You want a 3 way, really?
Woman: Sure, I guess, I've never done it. If you want to...
Man: You must understand something before we do. I'm with you. After it goes down, I'll still be with you. Do you understand that?
Woman: Um, yeah.
Man: No, you REALLY have to know that, there is going to be a guest star in our show, and that's just it: a guest star.
Woman: OK.
Man: You are going to have jealous thoughts, but you NEED to just realize: Why would I leave you for someone else when you are so good? I mean, having 3 ways? Who else would I find that could top that?
Woman: Awww....
Man: Psshhff... why wouldn't I just invite her over and have another 3-way?

At which point you both have hearty laugh and you've framed as a non-threating situation.

gixxer, she's 23 and you're 33. She's young and WANTS to explore, regardless of lil'pixie's doom and gloom. The truth is, if she doesn't get to explore with you, she'll explore with someone else. That's all you are taking advantage of, live it up man.

I've had plenty experience with that 19-24 generation and it's waaay different then ours. That generation is much more open and accepting sexually. Her friends are probably talking about 3-ways they've had and how cool they were, so she's likely feeling pressure from that side to find out what she's missing. Keep the pressure off on your side and cultivate a safe and open environment, that's all. PATIENCE! Don't push it! She already said it's on, so sit back and wait for the opportunity to present itself. Don't scour the net and actively pursue it because you'll turn it into a chore and rob yourself of the fun. I mean, after all the hunting and string-pulling, at the end you'll feel like: That's it? All that for that?

Good luck. Relax.

Um... as a little bonus tidbit: Having small intimate soirees really cultivates the scene. A couple extra single ladies hanging around, your girlfriend, some booze... things just happen when it's comfortable and convenient.
See also: ****tail parties, the link below

 

[Bad_Lil'Pixie]

She's young and WANTS to explore, regardless of lil'pixie's doom and gloom. The truth is, if she doesn't get to explore with you, she'll explore with someone else. That's all you are taking advantage of, live it up man.

Oh, come on, Vulpine, you know women enough to KNOW that if they want something they go after it. She's not made ANY effort what-so-ever to make this happen. She has only made excuses and claims she is too shy and too timid to even try.

Even gixx himself says she can't approach another woman over the net, he has doubts she can even carry off a conversation when they first meet, how in the hell is she going to take off her clothes and perform in a threesome?

Gixx is setting up a good game, gathering his players and staging a great performance, good for him, and I'm not bashing him for it, I am just pointing out that I don't think his "team mate" (FB) will truly put out if she won't as much type a text or place a call.

When she SHOWS effort and not just TALKS about it, then I will give her some credit, but right now I think she is just talking to spike Gixx's interest level in her.

 

[Vulpine]

I see your point and raise you with this:

Guys have a hard time approaching women. Women have a hard time approaching guys. Guys have a hard time approaching guys. So, A+B = C, right? Women would also have a hard time approaching other women if the intentions changed from innocent to sex.

In fact, I bet you were nervous as hell the first time you had sex pixie. This is like being a virgin all over again, wouldn't you agree? I know that the first time I had a 3-way, I was a wreck. In fact, I was so nervous at first I couldn't get it up. :nervous: .... at first.

The first time you were with a woman pixie, I bet you had a buh-zillion worries swimming around in your head: what does she taste like? will she think I smell funny? is he paying too much attention to her? nice rack. omg, she just licked my azz! etc.
I am willing to bet that you are trying to apply YOUR experience to this. Hey, you might have played it the same and ended up running to the bathroom crying, hell, you might've been the one on the bed wondering WTF... if the guy was better at crowd control and instigation that scene (real or imagined) wouldn't have been the same I promise.

The fact is, there's great deal of things to be stressing about. If one is normally a bit reserved, it only makes the whole ordeal out to be a bigger boogeyman.

I'm not poo-pooing your point, it's a good one. I'm merely pointing out that 1. it's like being a virgin all over again 2. women aren't used to, or, not comfortable with the "man's role" of being responsible for approaching/sarging/picking-up a woman. It's just goofy for a straight woman.

So my advice, if you follow the first link in the post above, boils down to letting the woman pick then hanging back and letting the guy work his magic and make it happen. That way, you skip the akwardness of expecting a woman to pick up another woman. FURTHERMORE... You dominate the situation with Alpha skills and the women will both respond.

 

[JC9]

I'm going to disagree with Pixie.

A good friend of mine was in a LTR with a girl who was very much bi and loved threesomes. However, while she would love talking about it to friends, she could _never_ approach or initiate anything with the girl she wanted for the threesome. She would whisper it to my friend, and he would have to all the work of approaching, attracting, and seducing the new girl.

She was just a shy girl, and even after many threesomes she still relied on the guy completely to continue bringing new girls for her to play with.

Granted, it's possible Gixxer's girl is just trying to please him, but it's more likely that she is just shy and can't move herself to action; especially with her first time.

 

[Friendly Otter]

Hey, we've all thought about it ... but....

A threesome works with some, but with almost anybody it doesn't. Very risky if you bring in another girl. Consider if you'd bring in another guy to make a "sandwich"; you, the guy in the relationship, would feel some uncertainty, right? Take that times ten when it comes to the girl in the relationship, competing with another girl brought in.

Especially if she is already shy, and especially if she is too shy to even take part in the online search (which is the absolutely necessary way of making her a full participant, and warming her up to the deed). Fantasizing is one thing, doing it is something completely different.

Could work, probably won't.

 

[Vulpine]

This is obviously gixxer's first 3-way too. If you hype it up too much with the searching and planning, of course you blow it. That's why I insist that he cultivate a scene where the opportunity presents itself and drop the subject until the opportunity is staring you in the face. Then, you have the luxury of taking advantage of the opportunity, or passing until the next one. Picking up scummers online isn't the way to go - period. There is way too much build-up with searching outright. Now, random opportunity, that's a whole different story. With the random chance, there is more of a "now or never" urgency, which, only ADDS to the hotness and fervor. The mind stays busy in the moment versus hoping, considering, wondering, and ultimately talking yourself out of it. It's like the 3 second rule for approaching - study long, study wrong.

I would like to get something straight.... raise your hand if you've had a three way or several.

:rockon: :rockon: :rockon: :rockon: :rockon: :rockon: :wave:

If you haven't, no offense but, what do you have to offer other than speculation?

 

[Bad_Lil'Pixie]

I see your point and raise you with this:

In fact, I bet you were nervous as hell the first time you had sex pixie. This is like being a virgin all over again, wouldn't you agree? I know that the first time I had a 3-way, I was a wreck. In fact, I was so nervous at first I couldn't get it up. :nervous: .... at first.

I'll see you and raise you this...

True, I was nervous, but being the pokee vs. the poker could have some say in a women nervousness. But, the point is, I did more then talk, I took steps toward the goal of sex, sure they were difficult and scary, but I made them. I didn't just tell my boyfriend how I wanted too, then took no action to make it happen. I held up my part too and if I recall it was a very fine 45 seconds for both of us. ;-)

The first time you were with a woman pixie, I bet you had a buh-zillion worries swimming around in your head: what does she taste like? will she think I smell funny? is he paying too much attention to her? nice rack. omg, she just licked my azz! etc.
I am willing to bet that you are trying to apply YOUR experience to this. Hey, you might have played it the same and ended up running to the bathroom crying, hell, you might've been the one on the bed wondering WTF... if the guy was better at crowd control and instigation that scene (real or imagined) wouldn't have been the same I promise.

I apologize if I mislead, I've never had a threesome, not MFM or FMF, nor do I desire one. My one man is ALL that I wish to satisfy and please. I am pathetically jealous and would shread any woman that came near my man, so a threesome is not for me. But, I have sexual desires and when I desire a form of sexual play I make it happen, I do not have inhibitions or reserves. Maybe her extreme lack of sexual assertiveness is why I feel she won't following through.

The fact is, there's great deal of things to be stressing about. If one is normally a bit reserved, it only makes the whole ordeal out to be a bigger boogeyman.

I'm not poo-pooing your point, it's a good one. I'm merely pointing out that 1. it's like being a virgin all over again 2. women aren't used to, or, not comfortable with the "man's role" of being responsible for approaching/sarging/picking-up a woman. It's just goofy for a straight woman.

So my advice, if you follow the first link in the post above, boils down to letting the woman pick then hanging back and letting the guy work his magic and make it happen. That way, you skip the akwardness of expecting a woman to pick up another woman. FURTHERMORE... You dominate the situation with Alpha skills and the women will both respond.

Again, very good point, but she is 23, she is in a relationship with a man 10 years her senior as a FB only??? I don't think so, I think she wants more. I would go as far as to say, shhh, the brass band.

Peoples actions really show what is in their heart and her actions are NOT that of someone wanting a threesome or bi-courious. Her actions are void, as she will be when the lights dim. Actions also speak louder then words, so far she has offered NOTHING but words and she won't even offer words to another chick on the net. Come on guys, jeez, who is really that shy???

She is verbally spiking his interest level and she did strike a nerve. Look at the attention and interest she is reaping from him.

But, I could be wrong, I am often and will openly admit it. I just call it as I see it and think she is a young one trying to hook herself a man and not doing a very good job.

 

[Bad_Lil'Pixie]

If you haven't, no offense but, what do you have to offer other than speculation?

I am not debating a moral standards of a three way, by far. If it is your desire, go for it, I see nothing wrong with the act. I really don't think anyone here is judging the rights or wrongs.

I just think this girl is making gixx run through hoops and she isn't going to hold up her end. (no pun intended). I don't think she is being honest with him.

Time will tell.

 

[Latinoman]

This is my general view on this issue:

If she is just a FB or somebody that you WILL NEVER consider in a long term relationship. Then...do what you want.

Otherwise...don't do it. Once you do it...you can expect the threesome with another MAN.

I'm not into the woman homosexual thing. In fact, I'm not into anything that is homosexual (women or men). My view is...if a person is into women with women, then that person has homosexual tendencies.

However, the way I see it...a threesome that involves F-F-M...should be an event in which the man has BOTH women. That's what makes a 3-some truly interesting. That's how I experienced mine several years ago. I did both women. They didn't do themselves. I had to focus and satisfy both women. I don't want no woman doing MY job on another woman. I want to do it myself on both!

When a woman wants a threesome with another woman and requests that from her man...in my eyes, she is not getting satisfied by that man...and wants a woman to satisfy her. She is in fact using her man to provide for her homosexual needs. Now...if she is asking for a woman, so her man can do BOTH. Well, that's another story.

Thing is...the American man has puzzified himself so much that he is failing to see that a REAL F-F-M 3-some should be one in which the man satisfy sexually BOTH women, without homosexual engagement taking place.


Now...I'm simply sharing my views. Right or wrong. They are not for debate.