"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Special Situation: Advice Needed

Mayfly

Don Juan
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I haven't posted seriously in a while, but here's my most recent situation. I would appreciate some help/advice/feedback.

A little background on where I live: middle of nowhere. One hour away from any real big town or anything. I live in a tourist town that has died down considerably. I have fvcked two girls during the tourist season after moving here at the beginning of September.

The story:

I'm out on a run a couple of weeks ago and see this good looking girl (HB9.5, no lie). I say, forget not approaching, I am going to talk to her.

We each finish our run at the same time and I can see her kind of looking in my direction (I had my shirt off and stuff) and I asked her what time it was. Easy enough opener, it led to conversation, I made her laugh. I didn't put her on a pedestal, etc.

I amazed her when I guessed she used to play shooting guard for the local basketball team. I later told her I am a sports writer and she said she is 22 and she is going to grad school at a college an hour and half away two days a week and the like.

So I number close and all is good. I call her in two days, no answer. A day later, she sends me a text saying "Sorry I didn't get back to you. I have been really busy with school."

I text her back saying "why don't you come out and make it up to me by having a drink." She said she would love to but needs to finish work.

The next weekend I text her and say that offer is still on the table, and she says that she is going to Massachusetts to see her boyfriend. This was the first reference to him during all of our conversations.

Fast forward to today where I go on another run. I see her out there but I keep along my way, snap a little smile her way, and go on. I finish my run and see her getting in her car, but knowing that she saw me, I knew she was going to come back and talk to me.

I stretched for a bit, and sure enough she gets out of her car and walks toward me. She says something and I take out my IPod and we have a conversation. She asks how is everything going with writing and all and we have a good little conversation.

Turns out her boyfriend is the starting goal of an AHL team in Massachusetts, so I figure DHV is going to be awfully hard. She is a gorgeous girl and I wouldn't mind to steal her away, but that would be tough. There aren't many good looking girls here and this is an opportunity. I can either have her lead me to her friends who are good looking or try to go after her.

What do the DJs say I do here? Should I try to DHV some way even though her b/f is a starting goalie? Should I tell her to introduce me to some of her friends around the area? What say ye?

Edit: My town and his town are 5 hours apart from each other.
 
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"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Mayfly

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window said:
she's out...
Are you saying that because she is serious with her boyfriend and she wouldn't want to go as friends to a movie? Or she's out of the equation completely? Even if she is, I think I can still use her to get to her friends. How would I broach that situation?
 

Interceptor

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Mayfly,

I say stay in the game, man. Stay in the game. Don't let her go.
You've piqued her curiosity.

If you're worrying about DHV, you're not keeping what YOU bring to the table into proper persepctive. Don't count yourself out just yet.
Remember, if you try too hard, it's actually worse! Don't strive to impress. Strive to be THE Man. Not some guy trying to Neg and DHV an HB to go to A3 yada yada....

Maybe her BF is a big doofus. Maybe he does drugs. Maybe he's abusive. Maybe he's boring. Maybe he doesn't know how to make her laugh or feel good, or arouse her sexually. There'a multitude of things.

But maintain contact with her. Make sure you keep your masculine side strong and proud, don't resolve to JBF.
Stay in her conscious.
Don't be overt. Play it cool.

Good luck.

keep us posted.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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hbxdoode

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Interceptor said:
Mayfly,

I say stay in the game, man. Stay in the game. Don't let her go.
You've piqued her curiosity.

If you're worrying about DHV, you're not keeping what YOU bring to the table into proper persepctive. Don't count yourself out just yet.
Remember, if you try too hard, it's actually worse! Don't strive to impress. Strive to be THE Man. Not some guy trying to Neg and DHV an HB to go to A3 yada yada....

Maybe her BF is a big doofus. Maybe he does drugs. Maybe he's abusive. Maybe he's boring. Maybe he doesn't know how to make her laugh or feel good, or arouse her sexually. There'a multitude of things.

But maintain contact with her. Make sure you keep your masculine side strong and proud, don't resolve to JBF.
Stay in her conscious.
Don't be overt. Play it cool.

Good luck.

keep us posted.
this is really good advice man! i dont think there's anything that you can do for now except keep in touch with her and let her know that she's in your mind. obviously she likes you in some way, it may be as friends, i dont know. but its a good sign. who knows maybe down the road, you'll have your shot.
 
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