"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Soul crushing defeats

MartinARMT

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Hey everyone. I am writing this more as a rant then needing advice. But I will definitely take some if you wish to share.

I recently moved to Hawaii in the last few months. I moved here for a fresh start after divorce. Since being here I have hit a dry spell. I've approaching like crazy trying to meet some people. No luck.

My last 2 attempts have gone like this. Hb8 in my math class is 19. Last week I walk into class and she is sitting in the seat where I usually sit. I don't care I just move up a row and sit. She looks at me and says" I sat here so I could talk to you". I don't give care so I don't move. After class stop her talk for a few and get her number. I text her the next day and ask is she wants to get coffee weds (which was yesterday). She says yes I give her time and place and she agrees. So yesterday its about an hour before the date and she texts me to flake. I say no worries and leave it at.

So after that I call a new buddy up and ask if he wants to chill. So we end up at the strip club. We are having a great time. So in walks a hb7 stripper. She comes and sits next to me and I'm in the zone. I'm being funny and holding great conversation. We talk about 20 mins(I think this was a mistake). Right before I leave ask if she wants to go out. She says yes and I make a date on the spot. I get her number and bounce. This afternoon I send her a text to touch base and so she has my number. I think this is where I messed up. I should have waited and just called her the day of the date to confirm.

These kinds of things have been happening since I arrived here. Basically no problem number closing but never getting to a date.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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El Payaso

Master Don Juan
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Don't beat yourself up about it. It's only two flakes. You've weeded out two more low IL girls in your search for plates. Good job. :up:
 

VladPatton

Master Don Juan
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Those are nowhere near soul crushing defeats. Shıt's not even a bad night lol.
 

MartinARMT

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VladPatton said:
Those are nowhere near soul crushing defeats. Shıt's not even a bad night lol.
I was just being dramatic. I'm just feeling desperate to break this slump which i'm sure is what is holding me back.
 

Dgwizdal

Master Don Juan
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Assume the sale. A bit surprised that coffee girl flaked as she asked you out? Sure you didn't scare her away?

Try something a little more interesting than coffee or date - say you'll be going to xxx (fun place) and invite them along. Less pressure on them, less f*cks given by you, and a more hamster appealing offer than boring getting to know you over food and coffee. Girls want to be intrigued and excited - I never take plates out to dinner on a first date.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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MartinARMT

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Dgwizdal said:
Assume the sale. A bit surprised that coffee girl flaked as she asked you out? Sure you didn't scare her away?
It is definitely a possibility I scared but if I did I'm not sure how. I acted pretty non chalant any time I had seen her.
 

MartinARMT

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So a little update. I took hb7 stripper to the beach earlier today. Absolutely horrible. Girl couldn't even put 2 coherent sentences together. I ended up making up an excuse to leave early.
 
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