"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Soul crushing defeats

MartinARMT

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Hey everyone. I am writing this more as a rant then needing advice. But I will definitely take some if you wish to share.

I recently moved to Hawaii in the last few months. I moved here for a fresh start after divorce. Since being here I have hit a dry spell. I've approaching like crazy trying to meet some people. No luck.

My last 2 attempts have gone like this. Hb8 in my math class is 19. Last week I walk into class and she is sitting in the seat where I usually sit. I don't care I just move up a row and sit. She looks at me and says" I sat here so I could talk to you". I don't give care so I don't move. After class stop her talk for a few and get her number. I text her the next day and ask is she wants to get coffee weds (which was yesterday). She says yes I give her time and place and she agrees. So yesterday its about an hour before the date and she texts me to flake. I say no worries and leave it at.

So after that I call a new buddy up and ask if he wants to chill. So we end up at the strip club. We are having a great time. So in walks a hb7 stripper. She comes and sits next to me and I'm in the zone. I'm being funny and holding great conversation. We talk about 20 mins(I think this was a mistake). Right before I leave ask if she wants to go out. She says yes and I make a date on the spot. I get her number and bounce. This afternoon I send her a text to touch base and so she has my number. I think this is where I messed up. I should have waited and just called her the day of the date to confirm.

These kinds of things have been happening since I arrived here. Basically no problem number closing but never getting to a date.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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El Payaso

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Don't beat yourself up about it. It's only two flakes. You've weeded out two more low IL girls in your search for plates. Good job. :up:
 

VladPatton

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Those are nowhere near soul crushing defeats. Shıt's not even a bad night lol.
 

MartinARMT

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VladPatton said:
Those are nowhere near soul crushing defeats. Shıt's not even a bad night lol.
I was just being dramatic. I'm just feeling desperate to break this slump which i'm sure is what is holding me back.
 

Dgwizdal

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Assume the sale. A bit surprised that coffee girl flaked as she asked you out? Sure you didn't scare her away?

Try something a little more interesting than coffee or date - say you'll be going to xxx (fun place) and invite them along. Less pressure on them, less f*cks given by you, and a more hamster appealing offer than boring getting to know you over food and coffee. Girls want to be intrigued and excited - I never take plates out to dinner on a first date.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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MartinARMT

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Dgwizdal said:
Assume the sale. A bit surprised that coffee girl flaked as she asked you out? Sure you didn't scare her away?
It is definitely a possibility I scared but if I did I'm not sure how. I acted pretty non chalant any time I had seen her.
 

MartinARMT

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So a little update. I took hb7 stripper to the beach earlier today. Absolutely horrible. Girl couldn't even put 2 coherent sentences together. I ended up making up an excuse to leave early.
 
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