In the spirit world Andy speaks to God. "God, why was my life so cr@p? I wish I could do everything differently." God takes pity on Andy and sends Andy back in time to the day of his birth, leaving with him all the knowledge he gained in his previous life.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
SoSuave writes a story. Post 1-2 sentences continuing the previous post
- Thread starter spesmilitis
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
spesmilitis
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 3, 2006
- Messages
- 1,490
- Reaction score
- 6
Just before the duel occurred, the winds became to violent, and sped to boat so fast, it went back in time.
amoka
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 18, 2006
- Messages
- 1,931
- Reaction score
- 62
With the vivid homemosexual characteristics of Andy, he lost in the duel and was pronouced DEAD few minutes later. Being type of person Andy is, rumoure has it that he was spotted at another homesexual bar several hundreads of miles away. We can all now agree Andy is NOW an immortal being walking on our planet.
D!ck Ramsey
Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 22, 2004
- Messages
- 158
- Reaction score
- 3
What nobody realized was that Andy had unwittingly donated his genes to science by wacking off in a coffee cup. From his spooj, the scientists where not only able to successfully clone him, but also isolate and destroy forever any trace of homo genes in his DNA. Andy was back and ready for action, so he decided to celebrate by going to a Hooter's near the White House...
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Capt.Jack Sparrow
Master Don Juan
And saw our president, George W Bush there surronded by the hooters women. He took many pictures and sent them to CNN, Fox News, and many other media outlets.
Create Reality
Master Don Juan
But what Andy didn't realize is that he left his pictures of the pope on fire, on the film roll! And this morning on CNN I heard the news...
D!ck Ramsey
Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 22, 2004
- Messages
- 158
- Reaction score
- 3
Unfortunately for America, the right-wing media would not publish the pictures because they were all at Hooter's too. Andy had stumbled upon the biggest, most cleavage-ridden conspiracy of our modern time.
penkitten
Master Don Juan
the conspiracy theory suggests that the entire 911 nightmare was funded by the silicone breast implant sales, however they were manufactured in china, who is trying to take over america with faulty merchandise profits. Andy knew no one would believe his story because only a ragging homo would understand the complexity and severity of it... so Andy called up LMS, who hung up on him after he said ..."
ValleyDJing
Master Don Juan
"LMS, your Mom's a hor!!" Andy then took up suicide as a hobby after realizing he was a hor baby as well.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
D!ck Ramsey
Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 22, 2004
- Messages
- 158
- Reaction score
- 3
It really was too bad that most of the dudes on SoSuave took him literally and hung themselves by their testicles at the stroke of midnight. With so many dead AFCs, SoSuave was losing money so they decided to merge forums with bestiality.net. All was well and peacful until...
penkitten
Master Don Juan
wyldfire returned after a long hiatus and did not know what was going on. the threads were all merged together :
"does she like me ?"
"i like to f*** chickens."
"should i call her?"
"i suck horses dongs."
"help i got my pecker pecked by the chicken"
"help i got the horse pregnant "
so she she wrote a thread that started like this ....
"does she like me ?"
"i like to f*** chickens."
"should i call her?"
"i suck horses dongs."
"help i got my pecker pecked by the chicken"
"help i got the horse pregnant "
so she she wrote a thread that started like this ....
cant think of a user name
Master Don Juan
...he got the horse pregnant
D!ck Ramsey
Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 22, 2004
- Messages
- 158
- Reaction score
- 3
Andy!!! One of the doctors at the lab was a plastic surgeon and had performed a full-on sex change. Unfortunately, if you recall, Andy's homo genes were completely destroyed and he only wanted women, even if he was a woman himself.
It looked like this would be the greatest DJ challenge for our young hero. He was a man and a horse...two strikes against him. Would he still be able to seduce Andy..er.. Andrea???
For the first time he began to feel nervous, but mustered up the courage to approach with the best opener he could think up....
It looked like this would be the greatest DJ challenge for our young hero. He was a man and a horse...two strikes against him. Would he still be able to seduce Andy..er.. Andrea???
For the first time he began to feel nervous, but mustered up the courage to approach with the best opener he could think up....
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Last Man Standing
Banned
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2006
- Messages
- 3,956
- Reaction score
- 37
Say "No" to Ho-mos!!
D!ck Ramsey
Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 22, 2004
- Messages
- 158
- Reaction score
- 3
As you can see Andrea's reaction was pure laughter. What was our horse friend thinking? The crazy part is that it worked..the ice was broken and the two began to talk a little and our stallion bought her a drink.
They realized how much they had in common... both were genetic mutations that never should have been spawned. Andrea did not yet mention her past as a man.
Everything was going smooth until Last Man Standing rushed into the bar and warned Mr. Horse about Andrea's true identity. The steed paused for a moment, furrowing his brow in confusion. Was it still homosexuality if there was no penis?
He was still trying to decide when...
They realized how much they had in common... both were genetic mutations that never should have been spawned. Andrea did not yet mention her past as a man.
Everything was going smooth until Last Man Standing rushed into the bar and warned Mr. Horse about Andrea's true identity. The steed paused for a moment, furrowing his brow in confusion. Was it still homosexuality if there was no penis?
He was still trying to decide when...
penkitten
Master Don Juan
the waiter, d!ck ramsey came up to take their order....
Interceptor
Master Don Juan
He asked:"Hello, you fools, What are you disgusting , hideous people looking to feed on tonight?? Hmmm???"
And then the monstrous Vampires shifted into their true form ,and gnashing their fangs and bearing their shapr claws lept at poor ****! He dropped his notebook, and ran and ran!!
Then out of nowhere he saw...
And then the monstrous Vampires shifted into their true form ,and gnashing their fangs and bearing their shapr claws lept at poor ****! He dropped his notebook, and ran and ran!!
Then out of nowhere he saw...
Capt.Jack Sparrow
Master Don Juan
Capi crimini in a restroom
they both got along and decided to troll the sosuave forums once again...
they both got along and decided to troll the sosuave forums once again...
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.