Something I struggle with

[Epicurus]

Just today a girl told me how understanding and easy to talk to I am while laying down in here bed.

But I seriously have a hard time caring, especially about forming bonds or doing whatever it takes to get whatever I want. This girl broke down a little bit started crying talking about her mom I calmed her down and let her relax and feel comfortable.
But I could actually care less; anyone else feel like this?

I don’t hate anyone or wish bad upon them. I just couldn’t care less

 

[Serenity]

I calmed her down and let her relax and feel comfortable.
But I could actually care less

So you think you don't care, but your actions says otherwise.

I have thought that I didn't care before, but it was just a lie I told myself. I can't fool my natural empathy and apparently neither can you.

 

[Dingo]

I have the complete opposite problem... I care too much.

I have said this before... If you want to be a hard core player you have to be a psychopath... ..

Don't really know what to tell you but you got to turn away from the dark side.... Not good to lose empathy or humanity..

 

[Serenity]

I have said this before... If you want to be a hard core player you have to be a psychopath... ..

I disagree. Empathy can really play to your advantage, but it is a strong force and it needs to be guided by rationality.

I have cared both too much and too little, been at the extremes. It's just a sign of poor regulation, neither extreme is functional as they have no anchor in reality. The middle way is to care on conditions, to have boundaries. Some conditions will make me care a whole lot, other conditions not so much.

What people experience as struggle is often their rationality fighting against emotions, because they haven't figured out a way to make it cooperate. In my experience I simply can't fight my true feelings by forcing my thoughts on it, that's a waste of my intellect. What I can do however is contemplate a way to achieve both my intellectual goals and emotional goals. This is some advanced metaphysics, but basically that's done by taking on a third and more diplomatic point of view and see the conflict from the outside in.

I haven't had success by being too emotional and caring too much, neither have I had any success not caring at all. I cannot deny that I care about others, but neither can I deny that I care about myself. If one is in conflict with the other I choose myself, but if that scenario is avoidable it will be my preferred option. This is the conditions that keeps me from struggling and being conflicted, it's what prevents me from going to extremes where my intellect is fighting my emotions.

It leads me to take some pretty good decisions in any kind of situation, this ruleset is universally applicable. It allows both my thoughts and feelings to have a part, which one gets to play depends on the conditions of a situation. I meditated a lot a few years back and it really stuck with me that I am neither my thoughts nor my feelings, I'm the observer of it. The third point of view, the master.

 

[ubercat]

Well the point of the game is to guard your heart while connecting with women. You be gone overboard on the guarding so your focused on the process not the journey.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

So you think you don't care, but your actions says otherwise.

I have thought that I didn't care before, but it was just a lie I told myself. I can't fool my natural empathy and apparently neither can you.

This is a dumb way to think. You calm them not because you ACTUALLY care about their feelings, but because you want to fvck them. No, you don't care about THEM. You just care about their pvssy and tits and ass. That's it. Rare are the girls whom you truly do feel for.

 

[ohrein]

Maybe you're a sociopath.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Don't really know what to tell you but you got to turn away from the dark side.... Not good to lose empathy or humanity..

Sometimes it is. There are a lot of people who don't deserve either of these things. Many people won't care about you until you just say '**** it'.

 

[Serenity]

This is a dumb way to think. You calm them not because you ACTUALLY care about their feelings, but because you want to fvck them. No, you don't care about THEM. You just care about their pvssy and tits and ass. That's it. Rare are the girls whom you truly do feel for.

This is a dumb way to do things. Just full of lies, like any other coward.

 

[wifehunter]

"And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing." - ESV

 

[Glassguy]

There are times when I feel this way about some women. For a while I wondered if I lacked the ability to empathize, but I eventually realized it wasn't that at all.

It just boiled down to the fact that there was nothing about these women I was attracted to other than the physical/sexual perks they offered.

I also realized I didn't show any empathy when I was expected to because I knew that in doing so it would foster emotional bonds I had no interest in developing. It wasn't that I didn't care about them, I just didn't want to lead their emotions in the direction of a relationship.

The last time I was empathetic to a plate I was only physically attracted to and nothing else, she asked me if I wanted a roommate.

I noticed too that other women I have a mutually understood FWB arrangement with that I have less of an issued being a little more empathetic, because I know whatever "bond" that comes from it is unlikely, or at least much less likely, to be misunderstood and misleading.

This ^^^^^^^^

It's situational based on the woman. Throw me a 9 with perfect tits, awesome body but lacks intellect and feelings and I will only want to fvck her again once we finish the first time.

Compare that to a woman that I'm physically attracted to AND they are intellectual and have a nurturing side and she wants to snuggle up and have some pillow talk while being physically tangled up together? No problem.

The reason that I am not into "feelings" and "pillow talk" is because the chemistry is not there with all of them. When I start weighing their attributes, that part of it isn't there. There is still attraction and probably great sex, but it stops there. IMO there is nothing wrong with that because not all people are attracted and connected in all aspects once you get past physical attraction. That is why a guy like me may date/fvck 30 chicks before I get to that point with one. It's better than forcing it or faking it being there when it's not.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

This ^^^^^^^^

It's situational based on the woman. Throw me a 9 with perfect tits, awesome body but lacks intellect and feelings and I will only want to fvck her again once we finish the first time.

Compare that to a woman that I'm physically attracted to AND they are intellectual and have a nurturing side and she wants to snuggle up and have some pillow talk while being physically tangled up together? No problem.

The reason that I am not into "feelings" and "pillow talk" is because the chemistry is not there with all of them. When I start weighing their attributes, that part of it isn't there. There is still attraction and probably great sex, but it stops there. IMO there is nothing wrong with that because not all people are attracted and connected in all aspects once you get past physical attraction. That is why a guy like me may date/fvck 30 chicks before I get to that point with one. It's better than forcing it or faking it being there when it's not.

Have you ever been with a 9 with perfect tits?

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

This is a dumb way to do things. Just full of lies, like any other coward.

It’s the way of the world now, unfortunately.

 

[Glassguy]

Have you ever been with a 9 with perfect tits?

More than one or I wouldn't have made the example.

 

[Urbanyst]

I care, but for selfish reasons.

I like gathering intelligence on women. The more I know about her, and the way she thinks, the easier I can get what I want from her lol.

Creepy if you want but.. my time is important to me.

 

[Serenity]

It’s the way of the world now, unfortunately.

And you're not helping.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

And you're not helping.

And the world is not entitled to my help when it has not helped me.

 

[Serenity]

And the world is not entitled to my help when it has not helped me.

And so the cycle of human degradation continues, nobody is going first and blames everyone else. You're a part of that, I do not have any respect whatsoever for that.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

And so the cycle of human degradation continues, nobody is going first and blames everyone else. You're a part of that, I do not have any respect whatsoever for that.

I refuse to be the one to start it if it is detrimental to my own well being. I alone have no power. Those who do don’t want it to be otherwise. Your respect is meaningless if you cannot understand that. Why frown on a man without legs for not being able to walk? Or an elderly who cannot take care of him/herself when they are terminally ill? You can’t change anything. Nor will you until the higher ups deem it so.

 

[Serenity]

I refuse to be the one to start it if it is detrimental to my own well being. I alone have no power. Those who do don’t want it to be otherwise. Your respect is meaningless if you cannot understand that. Why frown on a man without legs for not being able to walk? Or an elderly who cannot take care of him/herself when they are terminally ill? You can’t change anything. Nor will you until the higher ups deem it so.

So powerless, so pathetic. Seriously, if you don't then why should anyone else?

You're a sheep, doing as everyone else does. It's weak.