Hello friends,
I am in a complex situation and need serious help. I haven't been to this site in years since I found it drove me to superficiality at one point in time, especially when it came to looking at females as an object. But I need real help and came here, because I know yall are the only people that can truly help me. Here's my situation and problem, I know it's long, but please have it in your heart to read, thanks:
2-3 years ago I met this girl, we'll call 'K', in my church's youth group. She became my first 'flame' and the first girl I slept with. We are 2 years apart in age, so she was 15-16 when I was around 17-18. I was always kinda embarrassed by her, since she was younger, quite immature, and pretty much considered not up to my standards. At the time, I was the man, had all the girls attention, and was a popular senior, very secure. She was my longest relationship at the time(about 6 months), and then when her dad found out my age, forbade me to date her, and I didn't get to speak to her for a while. I was heart-broken and with-drawn. She contacted me again a little while afterwards, but it was too late. My heart was broke and I had mentally done given up on her and hated her for reasons I honestly don't know. She tried for the longest of time to keep contacting me and let me give her a chance, but I would always curse her out and scare her away. She would try to find a way to contact me like once every 6 months for the next 2-3 years.
Now after getting out of a two year relationship about 4 months ago, for some reason, I want her back. She is different, I must say. She is much prettier now and has many friends unlike before. She is a senior in high school and has many social ties since being so and is on top of the world(figuratively speaking), while I on the other-hand am starting college late(2 yearsish) and all my friends have moved away, so I don't have the same social ties I used to have, thus making me more insecure in all honesty. The problem in all this now that we are trying to make things work again(since for some reason we still love each other), but she kind of pushes me away and is scared at the same time(IMO). She won't hang out with me and blows me off by not showing up for events we have planned(and failed everytime, 3 times now) and doesn't return many text-messages even if she is the one who initiated conversation first. But I have had some break-through conversations with her, and I can see the "real" her in these times. The real her being: loving, kind, affectionate, and wanting me. I want THAT girl, the real her. But now that she has all these friends(who are partiers) and is very popular and getting attention from decent looking guys, she acts totally different as I noted earlier.
I don't know what to do. I really care about her(obviously) and want to be real about things and try and bring her back to her old self. I don't want to be fake and superficial and try to 'seduce' her the Don Juan way. Like I said, I want the old her, that being exactly the same as she is now, but without being a ***** and actually having a heart. Without her friends(that I don't personally know), she runs to me. But with them, she runs away from me. It's as if they are her security blanket and that she doesn't need me with them, and that she also seems to have ALOT of ****yness and pride with them. To illustrate things even more, her is the most recent example:
On Christmas, we planned on tryin to do something, but she said late in the day she couldn't because of so-and-so reason. So, me and a couple friends went to a pool hall, where we found her. She was with her friends and had obviously blew me the freak off. I told her how I felt about it and that it pissed me off, and she walked away when I said that, because of her pride.
Come on guys, help me out here. I ain't giving up on this ****, so don't bother telling me to. I just need a way out; I don't want to move on. Sorry so long, I just wanted to make sure everyone understood the situation for all that it is, so that yall can truely help me. & yes, I know I'm being a *****, but if that's what I have to be then I will, because I care about this, that damn much. BTW, if this info. is needed, here it is: I am a very-good looking guy(not being ****y) and can woe the ladies if I really want, and am always the alpha-male, but this time it's different(obviously). Anyways, karmas a ***** and I probably deserve what I got, but I have changed now and un-fortunately, so has she. I want her to change back dammit, I know this isn't the real her, because I've seen the real her. Please help guys.
I am in a complex situation and need serious help. I haven't been to this site in years since I found it drove me to superficiality at one point in time, especially when it came to looking at females as an object. But I need real help and came here, because I know yall are the only people that can truly help me. Here's my situation and problem, I know it's long, but please have it in your heart to read, thanks:
2-3 years ago I met this girl, we'll call 'K', in my church's youth group. She became my first 'flame' and the first girl I slept with. We are 2 years apart in age, so she was 15-16 when I was around 17-18. I was always kinda embarrassed by her, since she was younger, quite immature, and pretty much considered not up to my standards. At the time, I was the man, had all the girls attention, and was a popular senior, very secure. She was my longest relationship at the time(about 6 months), and then when her dad found out my age, forbade me to date her, and I didn't get to speak to her for a while. I was heart-broken and with-drawn. She contacted me again a little while afterwards, but it was too late. My heart was broke and I had mentally done given up on her and hated her for reasons I honestly don't know. She tried for the longest of time to keep contacting me and let me give her a chance, but I would always curse her out and scare her away. She would try to find a way to contact me like once every 6 months for the next 2-3 years.
Now after getting out of a two year relationship about 4 months ago, for some reason, I want her back. She is different, I must say. She is much prettier now and has many friends unlike before. She is a senior in high school and has many social ties since being so and is on top of the world(figuratively speaking), while I on the other-hand am starting college late(2 yearsish) and all my friends have moved away, so I don't have the same social ties I used to have, thus making me more insecure in all honesty. The problem in all this now that we are trying to make things work again(since for some reason we still love each other), but she kind of pushes me away and is scared at the same time(IMO). She won't hang out with me and blows me off by not showing up for events we have planned(and failed everytime, 3 times now) and doesn't return many text-messages even if she is the one who initiated conversation first. But I have had some break-through conversations with her, and I can see the "real" her in these times. The real her being: loving, kind, affectionate, and wanting me. I want THAT girl, the real her. But now that she has all these friends(who are partiers) and is very popular and getting attention from decent looking guys, she acts totally different as I noted earlier.
I don't know what to do. I really care about her(obviously) and want to be real about things and try and bring her back to her old self. I don't want to be fake and superficial and try to 'seduce' her the Don Juan way. Like I said, I want the old her, that being exactly the same as she is now, but without being a ***** and actually having a heart. Without her friends(that I don't personally know), she runs to me. But with them, she runs away from me. It's as if they are her security blanket and that she doesn't need me with them, and that she also seems to have ALOT of ****yness and pride with them. To illustrate things even more, her is the most recent example:
On Christmas, we planned on tryin to do something, but she said late in the day she couldn't because of so-and-so reason. So, me and a couple friends went to a pool hall, where we found her. She was with her friends and had obviously blew me the freak off. I told her how I felt about it and that it pissed me off, and she walked away when I said that, because of her pride.
Come on guys, help me out here. I ain't giving up on this ****, so don't bother telling me to. I just need a way out; I don't want to move on. Sorry so long, I just wanted to make sure everyone understood the situation for all that it is, so that yall can truely help me. & yes, I know I'm being a *****, but if that's what I have to be then I will, because I care about this, that damn much. BTW, if this info. is needed, here it is: I am a very-good looking guy(not being ****y) and can woe the ladies if I really want, and am always the alpha-male, but this time it's different(obviously). Anyways, karmas a ***** and I probably deserve what I got, but I have changed now and un-fortunately, so has she. I want her to change back dammit, I know this isn't the real her, because I've seen the real her. Please help guys.