Someone explain to me why Incels are so heavily involved in discussions about game/dating/sex.

[CornbreadFed]

Horndogs rutting like hogs with ugly women may be doing them a service, but I wouldn't call them 'higher value males'.

High value men have standards.

I have my definition of a high value male but some guys on this forum don’t, so that’s another rabbit hole

 

[CornbreadFed]

Their view is mostly what women might consider a High Value Man.

women can range from Ratchet bimbos to careerist feminists. I doubt they like the “same” guy.

 

[Gamisch]

Both my friends happen to Indian lolol i'm not implying anything, they just happen to both be. They are both practically the same person, they even sort of look alike style wise, they have that same mustache and part in the middle of the hair. I introduced them to each other at a bar around here. At a certain point I said hey guys look at the sh*tter on that critter over there, and one of them goes "she looks good mike but she wouldn't want me" I was dead - set the tone I was practically in the tears for the rest of the night (from laughter). They would all say the same thing too, like it was from the same playbook - my favorite was "that only works if someone like you tried it". I said guys you both have a combined IQ of like 1000 but can't figure out the simple algorithm of how to talk to a woman, even teenagers do that. I'm laughing my ass off just thinking about it, those two are a riot. If they weren't in their head so much they would both slay, especially with those girls that like geeky intellectual types.

Incels should just fecking try. Figure out a way to talk to women..that's it. Women WANT us to talk to them.

My incel friend now avoids the conversation when its about him. I yet push more and more to get him to start the journey of self improvement at least. He says he's fine without women and I get that. But his distance from the market becomes too big.

One common thing I've noticed is that incels truly believe they aint good enough. Women do poop out their thoughts without a filter tho. Any man will get roasted by a woman sooner or later. The trick is to create enough selfworth so YOU can decide your value and letting her comments slide off your back.

 

[corrector]

Incels should just fecking try. Figure out a way to talk to women..that's it. Women WANT us to talk to them.

My incel friend now avoids the conversation when its about him. I yet push more and more to get him to start the journey of self improvement at least. He says he's fine without women and I get that. But his distance from the market becomes too big.

One common thing I've noticed is that incels truly believe they aint good enough. Women do poop out their thoughts without a filter tho. Any man will get roasted by a woman sooner or later. The trick is to create enough selfworth so YOU can decide your value and letting her comments slide off your back.

What journey of self-improvement are you recommending for him? If he says that he's fine without women, is he really incel, MGTOW-monk-mode, or asexual? If you are incel then you can never take the position that you are fine without women, whereas an MGTOW-monk-mode (assuming he's not an incel-in-denial) can.

Have you considered the possbility your friend is MGTOW-monk rather than incel?

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Trying to make eye contact with a lady, who then sees you, and quickly averts her gaze is actively chasing women away? If a woman wants you, she will make it clear that she wants you to approach her and send a tonne of IOIs.

For the record, there was only one time I made a digital photo of a woman's a$$ when she bent over. She turned to me and we started chatting. I found out she was married and then deleted the picture. The point is, she did not show any interest in me at all in terms of even talking until I took that photo. That means some contact must have happened without me tapping her shoulder to talk by doing that action.
Again, it's a non-verbal connection.




Let me present two scenarios:

Scenario 1: Either I, or lets say, someone else who is in a dry-spell for more than 6 months (voluntary or involuntary), like @BergischerLöwe goes shopping, then the likeihood that we are going to get our goods and pay the cashier and have no further interaction is quite high. We see people who are minding their own business and don't want to disturb anyone. We go to work, ditto. People are just doing their own thing, maybe you might get a smile in and connect with someone superficially but that's it. Dating profiles look like a big effort to get some lackluster results. Did any rejection happen? No. Was there anything encouraging in the environ to approach and talk to women? Of course not. Is there justification in saying that you are not motivated? Of course, because you feel like you are enchroaching on another person's space.

Scenario 2: Lets take @Hamurabimbi, now he has the chadlite looks. He goes grocery shopping then he's going to notice women checking him out. Someone might approach him or start a casual converssation or small talk while he's shopping. The cashiers are super-nice and friendly and make a comment that sounds like they could be interested. When he goes to work, again, women are super-nice with him and he gets office-sex play.

It's not like I walk in the office and panties come flying off. Interesting things happen on occasion. But, it's not like clockwork.

 

[Gamisch]

What journey of self-improvement are you recommending for him? If he says that he's fine without women, is he really incel, MGTOW-monk-mode, or asexual? If you are incel then you can never take the position that you are fine without women, whereas an MGTOW-monk-mode (assuming he's not an incel-in-denial) can.

Have you considered the possbility your friend is MGTOW-monk rather than incel?

I think that term and the actual term incel have a very, very thin line between them.

One could even say it soon becomes cope. Look, in this world you cant hide from reality. If you refuse to put in the work yiu reinforce negative feelings about yourself day in day out. At some point you gotta man up.

The journey of self improvement consists of: physical, spiritual, financial, and mentally leveling up. One will reinforce the other untill you're cruising on auto pilot, like the man who keeps winning marathons runs. Seemingly an impossible task for bystanders, just a lifestyle to "the star".

You gotta have a clear and vivid picture of who you are when you reach full potential. If you for example look like dude in your profile picture, you can use him as inspiration. Just an example.

You also need to embrace yourself completely. In a world where its all about you there's no insecurities. Because you are one of a kind. There is no competition, besides the demons within you. Conquer (and contain) them and you might become "that dude".

 

[corrector]

It's not like I walk in the office and panties come flying off. Interesting things happen on occasion. But, it's not like clockwork.

Yeah.

Don't worry, I get it.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Yeah.

Don't worry, I get it.

May I return that serve?

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I think like below 30-25% of eligible Americans actually qualify for the military.




I am trying to explain to you on how a 4/10 female gets attention from higher value males

Being very aggressive and very sexual right out of the gate.

 

[corrector]

May I return that serve?

That was a nice try. One can argue that they were couples already (ie at least how its portrayed in the video) so it's not looking as disordered and crazy. However, the video I sent was absolute craziness (ie esp the male bus driver and female passanger, or male homeless beggar and lady dressed with a business suit on, or even the waitress making out while your gf is distracted on her phone), you would say that even Chads do not have that type of luck. The idea I meant to communicate (in sarcasm) is that of course you don't experience the world like that.

That being said, when talking about couples making out what you sent was a cool early 00s video. Venessa Carlton's Orindary Day is also cool too....

Not all of the actors/actresses in these music videos are actually couples (although it could be read that way). Some of them met their future wives/husband by taking that video shoot together and meeting on the set!

 

[corrector]

There is no competition, besides the demons within you.

Yeah, obviously the demons don't want men to have female friends and are out to create discord and division. Make one sex fight against the other rather than getting (matrimonially) laid. You are right, we have to fight these demons.

 

[CornbreadFed]

wtf happened to this topic

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Classic mental masturbation, posters ignoring anything of substance and just blathering. Get used to it, more to come.

 

[corrector]

JBW is absolutly a real thing.

How do you encourage your ethnicel mogged friend then?

 

[Hamurabimbi]

How do you encourage your ethnicel mogged friend then?

I don’t think he realizes JBW is a thing.

 

[corrector]

I don’t think he realizes JBW is a thing.

How do you figure that? What is his beliefs about why he's not succeeding then?

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

No wonder some of you guys struggle. I know some incels. They are without exception socially awkward/weird and unattractive. Look. If you are giving off a weird vibe it’s like body odor. It reeks.

It’s repulsive. But in the incel’s arrogance he fails to see his repulsiveness. He thinks he’s somehow better than the men who have success (who he loathes), and that contributes to the creepiness.

And he is so negative and self defeating that he cannot be reasoned with. He is an unbearable know-it-all who is a slave to his pov and his inaccurate beliefs, which is his religion.

We have some of that around here, certainly.

The problem @Jesse Pinkman is that these guys cannot recognize the problems of their own creation. Like @Pierce.Manhammer and @BackInTheGame78 refer to these are guys who see the landscape, complain bitterly but do NOTHING to change. Then they blame women and society and anything else because that’s easier than taking an honest stock in the mirror.

A few years ago I lived in a room share situation in a 2M house with a casita. My roommate in the bedroom next to mine was an older man on kidney dialysis. He had a grown daughter, was long divorced, smoked like a chimney and had never been handsome in his life. He was interesting & smart but his health was failing & he was retired doing online horse betting & Id say he was very MGTOW. He’d been there, done that, got the T shirt, over it, accepted that. Not interested in women. Friendly and cool. Worried that the homeowner’s live in BF was taking advantage of her. Kept to himself but cool person.

The dude who lived in the casita was your classic incel. He was a 35yo at home computer professional, no car, ordered pizza constantly, lived like a hermit. We never saw him unless the homeowner threw a barbecue out back at the pool, he was weird, never looked you in the eye, but made good money and could have had decent looks if he wasn’t so sloppy looking and awkward.

One day at a summer meal out by the pool he announced that he was running for Congress. He was serious and had submitted his candidacy. My BF at the time and I were stunned. This guy had zero social skills and was not likable at all and yet thought he was going to be a politician. He talked more at that meal than I’d heard him speak the whole 2.5 years I lived there. He was intelligent and had some decent ideas but was still creepy and awkward AF.

Unsurprisingly his bid for Congress went nowhere. He was NOT likeable & didn’t seem to realize that (or thought that shouldn’t matter or didn’t matter, not sure which).

Here’s what I tell my kids:

The world does not give a shjt about you, and owes you nothing. You are not entitled to a woman. You have to attract them, which means you have to be attractive, which isn’t just a looks thing.

I was the hot blond sorority girl, was a sorority officer in fact for 3 years, I was pre-Med, social, popular, in student government and from a prominent family in an affluent area. Excellence was expected of me by my family. The “normies” and the awkward hermits had no chance. They were invisible.

I do think the coddling of a generation has had deleterious effects, but it is up to individual men to rise above that with an honest look in the mirror.

Those friends of @IKO69 are not lost yet, they are mostly afraid. Encourage them to take up activities that expose them socially to women like tennis or yoga or wine enthusiast.

The problem with the incels here spouting all this negativity and AWALT and having this faulty belief system is that it misinforms men who are actually trying to grow, change and improve. I mean if a guy sticks around long enough he ought to be smart enough to spot the posers who are talking out their ass, but it is what it is. The intelligence of the audience must be assumed if they hang around at all.

An entitlement attitude, which the incel running for Congress had, gets you utterly nowhere.

 

[corrector]

Advice from the old lady:

No wonder some of you guys struggle. I know some incels. They are without exception socially awkward/weird and unattractive. Look. If you are giving off a weird vibe it’s like body odor. It reeks.

It’s repulsive. But in the incel’s arrogance he fails to see his repulsiveness. He thinks he’s somehow better than the men who have success (who he loathes), and that contributes to the creepiness.

And he is so negative and self defeating that he cannot be reasoned with. He is an unbearable know-it-all who is a slave to his pov and his inaccurate beliefs, which is his religion.

We have some of that around here, certainly.

The problem @Jesse Pinkman is that these guys cannot recognize the problems of their own creation. Like @Pierce.Manhammer and @BackInTheGame78 refer to these are guys who see the landscape, complain bitterly but do NOTHING to change. Then they blame women and society and anything else because that’s easier than taking an honest stock in the mirror.

A few years ago I lived in a room share situation in a 2M house with a casita. My roommate in the bedroom next to mine was an older man on kidney dialysis. He had a grown daughter, was long divorced, smoked like a chimney and had never been handsome in his life. He was interesting & smart but his health was failing & he was retired doing online horse betting & Id say he was very MGTOW. He’d been there, done that, got the T shirt, over it, accepted that. Not interested in women. Friendly and cool. Worried that the homeowner’s live in BF was taking advantage of her. Kept to himself but cool person.

The dude who lived in the casita was your classic incel. He was a 35yo at home computer professional, no car, ordered pizza constantly, lived like a hermit. We never saw him unless the homeowner threw a barbecue out back at the pool, he was weird, never looked you in the eye, but made good money and could have had decent looks if he wasn’t so sloppy looking and awkward.

One day at a summer meal out by the pool he announced that he was running for Congress. He was serious and had submitted his candidacy. My BF at the time and I were stunned. This guy had zero social skills and was not likable at all and yet thought he was going to be a politician. He talked more at that meal than I’d heard him speak the whole 2.5 years I lived there. He was intelligent and had some decent ideas but was still creepy and awkward AF.

Unsurprisingly his bid for Congress went nowhere. He was NOT likeable & didn’t seem to realize that (or thought that shouldn’t matter or didn’t matter, not sure which).

Here’s what I tell my kids:

The world does not give a shjt about you, and owes you nothing. You are not entitled to a woman. You have to attract them, which means you have to be attractive, which isn’t just a looks thing.

I was the hot blond sorority girl, was a sorority officer in fact for 3 years, I was pre-Med, social, popular, in student government and from a prominent family in an affluent area. Excellence was expected of me by my family. The “normies” and the awkward hermits had no chance. They were invisible.

I do think the coddling of a generation has had deleterious effects, but it is up to individual men to rise above that with an honest look in the mirror.

Those friends of @IKO69 are not lost yet, they are mostly afraid. Encourage them to take up activities that expose them socially to women like tennis or yoga or wine enthusiast.

The problem with the incels here spouting all this negativity and AWALT and having this faulty belief system is that it misinforms men who are actually trying to grow, change and improve. I mean if a guy sticks around long enough he ought to be smart enough to spot the posers who are talking out their ass, but it is what it is. The intelligence of the audience must be assumed if they hang around at all.

An entitlement attitude, which the incel running for Congress had, gets you utterly nowhere.

Do you know any other incels besides him?

 

[Aristippus]

I didn't read all of the responses but a lot. I think there is a lot of misunderstanding. And I also think that it's good to have some empathy for people who struggle in this area. I think what can happen is that the guys who seem to get nowhere with women and are lonely are stuck in a vicious cycle they desperately want out of but have a lot of external factors working against them.

Yes part of it is internal but I think the lack of good advice and good instruction on how to fix the problem is a big issue also. So they follow bad advice or maybe some good but incomplete advice mixed with bad advice. They are suffering in their situation of lack. Desperately want out. There is a stigma attached to their problem.

Despite their efforts they fail. That disappointment can turn to despair which can turn to sadness and finally can turn into anger. They've inherited bad ideas, wrong attitudes. Bad programming (which unfortunately is the norm). It's still up to them to find a way out and to do what they need to do to succeed and to not make matters worse. Unfortunately after many attempts and failures some people just give up.

The same guys who are bitter would probably be much happier if they could wave a magic wand and solve their problem. Life doesn't work that way though. Maybe instead of bashing them, we can learn to show more compassion (that could mean using "tough love"). I've seen some good ideas but also a lot of misinformation and bad ideas even among the more experienced men in the world and on here. Even many so-called players and ladies men have wrong attitudes and are clueless.

 

[Aristippus]

p.s. What does O.L.D. stand for? I keep seeing it in people's posts on here.