Scars
Master Don Juan
I'm posting this here because I feel the "mature" audience has more to offer than me than the regular DJ forum.
I hate to say it but I've been dating an AW. She has been great. I knew I shouldn't have dated her from the very start but I did anyway. These girls have a way of sucking you (I say this all the time, funny how I can't follow even my own advice sometimes. She has changed a lot for me. I saw a lot of red flags in her and she desperately tried hard to change because she "loved me". I can't deny this either. She really did good for awhile. But there was still things about her that bugged me. Throughout the whole relationship I always stood my ground. I was the dominate force, and she even said to me several times that I was like "the father she never had" (something that was missing from her life). I showed her right from wrong. I criticized her when she needed it. I also rewarded her when she was good. By every means, I played this relationship to the tee. %100. I wasn't the "best" boyfriend. But I was for her. I was everything she and most other woman asked for. I cheated on her several times. She forgave me every time. We also broke up many times. Although I kept her waiting for days and made sure she knew why I was upset and why she was wrong I still always came back. (Possibly the only fault I made.) This girl tells me I am her world, loves me to death, swears on everything she has never cheated on me, and never would.. however.
Tonight, while we were having sex she uttered out "why can't he **** me like you", not only that, but right after.. I stopped and asked her "wtf is that?" then she made a weird look at me and jolted and acted surprised as if it was me.
Granted.. we both had a lot to drink.
In any case, of course I stopped and asked her about it. She wasn't giving me any straight answers just "I'm drunk... im sorry" so I put my clothes on and left. Once I got home she gave me a call in attempt to work it out.. she still swears she didn't mean anything by it.. that she was drunk.. doesn't know why she said.. and swears up and down that she is sorry, loves me.. and can't imagine her life without me. I simply told her we would talk about it in the morning once we both were sober.
A part of me doesn't buy her story at all. But I also know that I am the best thing that has ever happened to this girl, and she would be absolutely stupid to cheat. Still, I can't help but wonder.
Another side note is that this girl was raped when she was younger. I started wondering if it was a traumatic thing she was reliving. But at the same time, I have no sympathy for girls like this. I even told her, that girls that suffer traumatic pasts like that usually have a lot of problems.. something I can't and won't deal with. I made this clear to her tonight, and we've also had this talk before. She tells me "I know I have a shady past, but I have changed so much.. I love you. I have things I need to deal with, but I don't want you to leave me.. blah blah". So I'm really torn. I feel like I can't help this girl anymore. I pretty much consider us broken up, and I kinda want to keep it that way. But at the same time, I also do care about her a lot.
Somebody smack some sense into me. I know if I ever heard a story like this on here I would instantly think the b!tch was cheating, and offer the proper advice. But there's also a part of me that believes her.. that she was just drunk and stupid. Perhaps fantasizing about someone else in order to get off? But at the same time, that is a huge red flag to me. There is so much stuff going on right now I don't know what to think.
I hate to say it but I've been dating an AW. She has been great. I knew I shouldn't have dated her from the very start but I did anyway. These girls have a way of sucking you (I say this all the time, funny how I can't follow even my own advice sometimes. She has changed a lot for me. I saw a lot of red flags in her and she desperately tried hard to change because she "loved me". I can't deny this either. She really did good for awhile. But there was still things about her that bugged me. Throughout the whole relationship I always stood my ground. I was the dominate force, and she even said to me several times that I was like "the father she never had" (something that was missing from her life). I showed her right from wrong. I criticized her when she needed it. I also rewarded her when she was good. By every means, I played this relationship to the tee. %100. I wasn't the "best" boyfriend. But I was for her. I was everything she and most other woman asked for. I cheated on her several times. She forgave me every time. We also broke up many times. Although I kept her waiting for days and made sure she knew why I was upset and why she was wrong I still always came back. (Possibly the only fault I made.) This girl tells me I am her world, loves me to death, swears on everything she has never cheated on me, and never would.. however.
Tonight, while we were having sex she uttered out "why can't he **** me like you", not only that, but right after.. I stopped and asked her "wtf is that?" then she made a weird look at me and jolted and acted surprised as if it was me.
Granted.. we both had a lot to drink.
In any case, of course I stopped and asked her about it. She wasn't giving me any straight answers just "I'm drunk... im sorry" so I put my clothes on and left. Once I got home she gave me a call in attempt to work it out.. she still swears she didn't mean anything by it.. that she was drunk.. doesn't know why she said.. and swears up and down that she is sorry, loves me.. and can't imagine her life without me. I simply told her we would talk about it in the morning once we both were sober.
A part of me doesn't buy her story at all. But I also know that I am the best thing that has ever happened to this girl, and she would be absolutely stupid to cheat. Still, I can't help but wonder.
Another side note is that this girl was raped when she was younger. I started wondering if it was a traumatic thing she was reliving. But at the same time, I have no sympathy for girls like this. I even told her, that girls that suffer traumatic pasts like that usually have a lot of problems.. something I can't and won't deal with. I made this clear to her tonight, and we've also had this talk before. She tells me "I know I have a shady past, but I have changed so much.. I love you. I have things I need to deal with, but I don't want you to leave me.. blah blah". So I'm really torn. I feel like I can't help this girl anymore. I pretty much consider us broken up, and I kinda want to keep it that way. But at the same time, I also do care about her a lot.
Somebody smack some sense into me. I know if I ever heard a story like this on here I would instantly think the b!tch was cheating, and offer the proper advice. But there's also a part of me that believes her.. that she was just drunk and stupid. Perhaps fantasizing about someone else in order to get off? But at the same time, that is a huge red flag to me. There is so much stuff going on right now I don't know what to think.